To be put out by friend and her ‘influencing’ attempts

[Tenhuy]

One of my closest friends has started posting more influencer style type things on Instagram, and has grown a couple of thousand followers. Shopping hauls, getting ready videos and family days out etc. She is open about wanting it to grow to the point she could earn money. Fine - each to their own.

I do feel like it is having a bit of an impact on our friendship and don’t know if I am being unreasonable to mention it - hence the question!

The straw which broke the camels back is a couple of weeks ago when we had arranged to meet on a Thursday evening at a shopping centre for a look around and a restaurant dinner. The day before, she excitedly called me and said she had been given a ‘PR invite’ to attend the soft opening of a new fast food takeaway there - basically a noodle chain. She said I could go with her and it was when we were at the shopping centre anyway.

She picked me up and when we parked up had to film an introduction for a post, then filmed our walk in, asked me to film her walking in etc. She then filmed the takeaway unit and was given a free meal - again, filmed herself eating this and commenting. I wasn’t given any of the food and was waiting around for her to finish.

We then looked around the shops and she said she wasn’t hungry enough for our planned restaurant meal and could I grab something quick instead from one of the other fast food units so she could get home to edit the video as she was told to post it by the following lunchtime.

I suppose her counter to me being a bit annoyed would be that I’d support her if I was a true friend. The other minor annoyances have just been filming everything to an annoying extent, ‘oh hold off eating so all the dishes are in shot’ or ‘we need to do a cheers first’…

Opinions welcome!

Tell her she’s not an influencer but merely another person involved in the mass marketing of shite nobody really needs.

I agree but it doesn’t really bother me. If I see one I just think, they’ve had to get out of bed, place and aim their camera, get back in bed and pretend to wake up. It makes me chuckle really. I like to catch all the silly aspects of them.

I’m obviously not going to engage with a poster who swears at me and suggests I’m insane 😂 👋🏼

This would drive me absolutely insane, Yanbu.

I love noodles

< misses the point of the thread >

Do people really speak in such a snarky way to other people (or just when behind a keyboard) 🤷‍♀️

I'm old enough to know, and have seen, that times changes as do the way people make money (or get freebies). Find it difficult to get particularly worked up about it - though wouldn't have been thrilled with Noodles Gate

Yet there you are continuing to engage 😂 Here’s some words of wisdom for you: if you are of such a sensitive disposition, don’t go around writing goady & snarky comments to people.

Oh, that's even funnier worse

Thank you for sharing your wisdom @LVPLVT 👋🏼

She's entitled to do what she wants and she is entitled to ask you to join in. You're entitled to say no. I wouldn't criticise her, I'd leave the door open by sharing that you miss your friendship with her and hope she'll get in touch for normal friendship days, but that you don't want to participate with any more influencing days. Leave her to come back to you when she's ready.

I would agree to go out but you can just say no and explain that it is embarrassing if she asks you to film her posing in front of the camera. If my friend told me not to eat anything, I'd just carrying on eating. You don't have to do what she says.

Apart from anything else, what a boring job. I can’t imagine being stimulated by this type of ‘work’ (if you could call it work, which I wouldn’t).

Yes, I’d be thinking shit I’ve got to do another video. I know I would lose interest after a few goes.

What would you suggest as a better alternative? Because people don’t talk in a blunt way either - very few people would ever say “it really hacked me off that you were doing your influencing work and it ruined our original plans”.

To be fair though that could apply to very very large sections of jobs unless you are involved in homes or utilities or basic groceries - fashion/beauty/entertainment/hospitality /publishing etc,, etc -

Thanks, I'd not heard that term for them before, but they are not generally on my radar.

She’ll only get worse
These so called ‘influencers’ are up their own backsides Nothing they could do would influence me the slightest.
I did watch one last night .. going around M&S at Marble Arch looking at all the Christmas stuff Bloody silly woman croaking her way through it and laughing at her own jokes

yes that is funny 😂 and when they are crying and start filming themselves 🙄

Erm, I would, you know, speak with a friend if there was something vaguely sensitive I wanted to raise with her, not send snarky texts

You've lost me completely here.

The OP's friend is at this point, not monetized and absolutely is putting in hours and hours of work for.. a free plate of food. Yes of course she hopes eventually it will be monetized and she will get real cash... but that's a long way off and absolutely not guaranteed.

Who is earning 2K a time for five videos a month (is that 2K a month or 2K a video?) - certainly not a newbie with a few thousand followers.

Yes, influencers with 25K+ followers will get paid or 'sponsored' to promote things and some companies have found this is better, and cheaper, than paying advertising agencies for proper tv/magazine etc ad campaigns. Not the OP's friend though.

I do know people who are making a living as influencers - those genuinely, long term successful at it, are making content that is their normal lives or, a decent snapshot of it, stuff they would be doing anyway, and then they get sponsored by companies like Wild or Holy Energy Drinks etc.

They are definitely not the people dragging their friends out and torturing them through multiple filming angles of a bowl of noodles and then rushing off to edit it!

I have occasionally asked friends to support me with work stuff (not influencer, a job I had a long time ago I needed help with tech presentation/giving out stuff) but the difference is I asked them, explained fully how the day would be, and returned the favour.
She's wrong because she didn't. If she wants to spend hours on something to get free noodles, it's her life, but treating you like this isn't on.

I was going on the OPs post. She said her friend had form and this latest incident was the "straw that broke the camel's back".

My suggested words didn't have to be her words, they are just what I would have said as an example - perhaps I move in more formal circles!!! Who knows, but they were just a suggestion.

From what OP said, it sounded like plans had completely changed, as her friend was now not meeting her for lunch and shopping but had accepted an invitation to a PR event. I don't think any magical divination was required to deduce that the arrangement had changed and OP was told by her friend she could "go with her".

Anyhow, I wasn't trying to be "unfair" just saying what I would have done. OP can take it or leave it. I'm just a random on MN offering my opinion!

This is a really good point. We have now found a way that women can make money by providing something that other women are prepared to pay for, but for some reason we don’t like that and degrade anyone who does it. Nobody is forced to do it, or to watch it , but women sure like to judge it.

Yes, I used to do something like this (media not SM) and it honestly sucked the fun out of everything. One of the reasons I left was I was sick of not being able to actually enjoy my holidays.

She should also know that she can push back on demands like it should be posted by lunch time unless they are paying her for the review. They don’t get to make demands like that if the only reward is a free meal.