To be put out by friend and her ‘influencing’ attempts

[Tenhuy]

One of my closest friends has started posting more influencer style type things on Instagram, and has grown a couple of thousand followers. Shopping hauls, getting ready videos and family days out etc. She is open about wanting it to grow to the point she could earn money. Fine - each to their own.

I do feel like it is having a bit of an impact on our friendship and don’t know if I am being unreasonable to mention it - hence the question!

The straw which broke the camels back is a couple of weeks ago when we had arranged to meet on a Thursday evening at a shopping centre for a look around and a restaurant dinner. The day before, she excitedly called me and said she had been given a ‘PR invite’ to attend the soft opening of a new fast food takeaway there - basically a noodle chain. She said I could go with her and it was when we were at the shopping centre anyway.

She picked me up and when we parked up had to film an introduction for a post, then filmed our walk in, asked me to film her walking in etc. She then filmed the takeaway unit and was given a free meal - again, filmed herself eating this and commenting. I wasn’t given any of the food and was waiting around for her to finish.

We then looked around the shops and she said she wasn’t hungry enough for our planned restaurant meal and could I grab something quick instead from one of the other fast food units so she could get home to edit the video as she was told to post it by the following lunchtime.

I suppose her counter to me being a bit annoyed would be that I’d support her if I was a true friend. The other minor annoyances have just been filming everything to an annoying extent, ‘oh hold off eating so all the dishes are in shot’ or ‘we need to do a cheers first’…

Opinions welcome!

She's at work, who wants to meet their friends while they work? It's boring.

If she can't figure out the difference between work and real life, or understand people don't want to be involved, she won't have many friends left in a while.

So she did all that work just to get some free noodles?!

Who is watching these videos? The mentally ill.

Next time she asks you to film her say you want a share of her income and revenue.
Going out together with a friend is not a job opportunity. And you are not her employee.

No, if she wanted you to be her content assistant she should have a) asked b) paid you for your time

Yanbu don’t be the free film person again, or where you don’t get to eat.

Yanbu. She’s essentially taking you to work with her and it’s not enjoyable for you.

Next time she suggests doing something, ask if she’s going to be filming/photographing for content. If the answer is yes, just say you’d rather not as it means having to wait around for you but she should let you know when she wants to get together without making content out of it.

Was it not possible for you to buy yourself a meal at the noodle place while she was eating her free one?

They’d already planned a different restaurant dinner. But yes surely at least one of them should have recognised in advance that she wouldn’t want two dinners.

I find that when people say “each to their own” it’s usually a judgement.

You don’t have to let it impact your friendship at all. Next time you see her just say “I’m really proud of what you’re achieving with the social media stuff but I’d rather not be involved with it when we’re hanging out”

When I’m with my friends I don’t expect to be acting as their assistant, but I also don’t expect their undivided attention at all times. Her stopping to take a photo of her meal or something is no less inconvenient than a friend answering a phone call.

'Influenzas' 😂

Genius typo there. Everyone talks about it, but people with it need to be avoided.

'Influenza' - a nausea-inducing parasite.

She needs a paid assitant for this, not a friend- expecting you to grab something quickly because she has eaten and doesn't fancy a restaurant is just plain rude.

The influencing and PR invites are fine; she's doing nothing wrong there.

She can't expect you to act as her unpaid assistant and camera operator though, unless you're actually getting something in return. I'd happily film a mate of mine walking into a restaurant if I then got to enjoy the restaurant meal with her, but not if I was literally just standing on the sidelines while she did her job.

quoted wrong post

Pretty sure It’s not a typo but a term used by those who dislike influencers.

Influencers belong in the ninth circle of hell. Just live a normal life and wait til she gets over herself.

How hugely cringey. If any of my friends did this, I would be cooling the friendship very quickly. Social media is ruining everything.

My friend has around 300k followers. She uses her own tripod, sound system and shops alone. She's never once pulled on family or friends at an event, meal, in fact never mentions, family friends or films anything.

@Tenhuy your friend has a lot to learn, there are books on Amazon tell her.

I also see a lot of ‘let me deinfluence you” videos on instagram. I think some are getting fed up with it and sick of seeing everything looking perfect online. It’s all staged

first post nails it.

What if the OP wasn’t proud though? What is there to be proud of when your friend is taking such a narcissistic route?

I’m very proud of my friends who are nurses, teachers, care workers and cleaners. You know, proper jobs that actually benefit people and improve their lives.

I doubt 'influenzas' is a typo, it's the word for them I've used for a long time, they're as pleasant as a dose of the flu.

I couldn’t be friends with an “influencer”, the level of arrogance you must have to assume people are interested in seeing your life is a deeply unpleasant characteristic to me.

ludicrous, reconsider the friendship