Pulled DD like she pulled DS

[amiwrong10]

DD3 has this thing that when she gets tired or overexcited, she starts pulling DS1 about by his clothes.

I’ve tried talking to her, I’ve tried shouting, I’ve tried physically pulling her off him and telling her why she’s not to do it.

He starts getting upset and she’s rubbing her head all over his, pushing him down whilst he’s crawling, yanking at his clothes. She’s lovely to him 90% of the time but she pushed him down and he bent his wrist back and was screaming last week when she did this.

After preschool, she did it again and I saw red when she wasn’t listening, DS was crying so I pulled at her top and leggings like she was at him until she got upset too (I didn’t hurt her, her arm come out of her top and one leg of her leggings was off) now I feel awful and like the worst Mum in the world but it made her stop.

I obviously don’t want to do that again so any other advice would be good.

She gets so much 1-1 time from both parents from swimming to cuddling up reading a story, gymnastics, I make sure I take just her to the park once a week so she’s got my full attention.

DH is away on a course for a week, I’m 4 days in and 2 more nights to go and I’m bloody exhausted 😵‍💫

As reassurance that not all older people are like this, I am 67 and never ever hit my children or even contemplated doing so, I hate physical violence towards children, think it is bad parenting and totally ineffective as a method of discipline.
My children are kind thoughtful well adjusted adults.
As an aside my DS worked as an educator in prisons, virtually all the violent prisoners he worked with had been physically punished as children.

But having said that, if a poster comes on and admits to losing it, and asks for advice on how to approach things in a better way, I try to offer help, not condemn because we all make mistakes, and anyone who can admit they got it wrong and ask for help is clearly a person who wants to do the best they can for their children

Mother of the year.