To think that ADHD is killing me

[LazyCrazyAndStupid]

Definitely slowly but also not so slowly. I just can't take care of myself.

I have got a massive cavity in my tooth. The dentist said she doesn't believe me that it doesn't hurt like crazy (it doesn't) but I know it very soon will. Still I can't make the appointment to get it actually filled. It took me more than 10 years to just schedule the initial consultation.

I have got high cholesterol (and all the other markers of early heart disease), high blood pressure, I'm pre diabetic and am severely deficient in vitamin d and moderately deficient in vit b12. But I don't take the supplements let alone do anything about about my bad lipid profile.

I regularly have blood in my stool. I know I need to get it checked but I don't. I get regular chest and arm pain after walking or climbing stairs. I'm terrified I'll have a heart attack soon but I can neither change my lifestyle, nor ask for treatment or even schedule an appointment with my GP. I know It's not like I can't. I make appointments for the kids or DH all the time. I just can't do it for myself.

I can't even wash fruits before eating. It's so stupid. I religiously wash them for the kids or anyone else but not for myself. I'm constantly kindly dehydrated. My throat is so dry it's burning but I still won't drink water. Even when I have a glass of water next to me I won't drink it.

I am getting quite far sighted and it's really annoying me but of course I can't make an appointment with the optician and get varifocals.

I am nearly fifty and I have young kids and I feel terrible about not taking better care of my health and making sure that I'll be around and healthy enough to look after them while they need me. The only thing I somewhat manage to do is look after them and do my work. My work is draining me, especially because I'm so inefficient and slow but it's the one thing I won't completely neglect. The house is a tip and I've got very elderly parents who are suffering massively and desperately need my help but right now I barely manage to even call them.

I don't know what to do. I mean I know exactly what I have to do but I can't . I won't. I mean how do you do anything when you just can't do anything? I know it doesn't make sense but at some point everyone needs to "just do it" and I just can't "just do it".

I am medicated. I think 50mg of lisdexamphetamine. My psychiatrist added another dose of 20mg on top of that recently but most days I forget to take it. When I do I am alert for longer but don't use my time any better.

I am addicted to browsing my phone. I use all kinds of apps to limit my use but I get around them. I need to just get rid of it or at least completely block the browser but I won't do that.

Sorry for the long novel. I'm at the end of my tether. I'm tired and I'm depressed and I don't know how to get myself get out of this rut.

It’s not ADHD it’s phone addiction. I was reading this literally waiting for the mention of the phone and yep, there it is. Swap for a dumb phone

Have you tried HRT? I found the peri menopause hormone changes made my adhd much much worse. Maybe it’s time to get an adhd coach, if you can afford it, they could help you work through ways to stop procrastinating.

I can't. I need it for work and to talk to my parents. What I should do is limit browsing and my worst time wasting apps like kindle to something like an hour a day but every time I do something like that I find a way around it.

Nope..I've been thinking of talking to my GP about it. It's one of the things on my to do list...

HRT will help you, i'm diagnosed ADHD too.
I think when you have adhd everything has to happen in a hurry. Half the battle is trying to slow the mind down.* *

You can talk to your parents on text on a dumb phone and work on a laptop/dumb phone. You are making excuses. I say this as someone diagnosed with adhd and bipolar.

You have a list there op. I have short term lists s as nd long term lists s as me they all take me so much time to get through but you just have to start (not just, I mean you have to!). On the scrolling thing I defeated a phone addiction once but it takes a day of cold turkey- well, phone volume turned up in case anyone needs you but in general read, watch tv, clean, do crafts, everything you can to stay away from it and it got my kids unhooked for a time too!

And as for your teeth fecking sort it out. I didnt, and lost a tooth. That is grim.

I'm guessing the OP had adhd before phones were a thing, like many of us. Before the smartphone I used to be addicted to playing random tracks from multiple cds and put off tasks/bedtime that way, standing waiting for each track to finish then putting another one on. Granted, phones are easier to get addicted to, but if you have adhd you can do the same with anything. At least phone use curbs my compulsive daydreaming.

YANBU. Adhd is so harmful. Now there's this myth that everyone has it and it's mostly losing keys and failing to pull your socks up, people just don't or won't understand how harmful it can be. And yes, it reduces your lifespan.

Yes and yes, I used to lose hours to day dreaming or playing spider solitaire but even then ... The advent of smart phones has definitely been the undoing of me. So much of distraction at my finger tips. That and working from home.

Boeufsurletoit
I'm guessing the OP had adhd before phones were a thing, like many of us. Before the smartphone I used to be addicted to playing random tracks from multiple cds and put off tasks/bedtime that way, standing waiting for each track to finish then putting another one on. Granted, phones are easier to get addicted to, but if you have adhd you can do the same with anything. At least phone use curbs my compulsive daydreaming.
Phones take your concentration and attention span, they’re one of the worst things you can be addicted to, especially if you have adhd.

Get the screen zen app for your phone - it’s free and easy to set up. It’s much better than the iPhone screen time app which can be overridden easily. I’ve cut my screen time down massively, but still give myself some treat “windows” of permitted time.

im the same with my health -need new glasses, docs are waiting for me to send my updated blood pressure readings and I keep forgetting my vitamin d. It’s shit and I feel guilty because im a grown up!

Umm yes.

*Adds to to do list: must get better at troll posting 😕."

Just to clarify. Of course, I didn't have a cavity for ten years but my last dentist appointment was in 2016 and I haven't been able to schedule a routine check up for 10 years.

Educate yourself on ADHD please and keep your ridiculous comments to yourself!! Seems you weren’t taught basic manners

You're not alone. I'm a professional with a masters degree who works on high profile projects. I also have adhd and haven't been to the dentist since 2017 because I don't see the point of doing things that will only benefit myself. It really fucking sucks. Sorry I don't have any advice to offer, but you're not alone in feeling like this, if that's any consolation.

Thanks everyone for your replies 💜i think I did need that kick about my phone use. I just now installed appblock to limit usage of my worst time wasting apps to 2h a day. Hopefully that will help a bit and I won't find a way to circumvent it too soon.

No I can't. I have work related apps on my phone. There are alternatives that I could request but no way in hell am I disclosing that I have ADHD.

And my parents live abroad. They are used to WhatsApp. With all the problems they have got at the minute I'm not going to ask them to change how they contact me.

I hear you OP. I'm pretty similar and as scared that I am killing myself through my bad habits. Yes, menopause has made things worse but HRT and ADHD meds haven't miraculously cured me. I feel completely burnt out.

You mentioned that you make appointments for your DH- could he not help you out by making a few appointments for you?

It might also be worth trialling a different type of medication, such as a methylphenidate one, to see if that makes a difference. Not everyone responds well to the first one they try. Elvanse (lisdexanfetamine) made me feel ‘not quite right’, whereas Concerta (methylphenidate) works much better for me without feeling like I’ve ‘taken something’, but it’s different for everyone.

The vit D and B12 deficiencies are also known to exacerbate ADHD symptoms. I know it’s difficult to be consistent with taking them, but thought it was worth mentioning. B12 can be treated with injections rather than tablets, which you could speak to your GP about. I think you can also just get the injections from a pharmacy without a prescription, but I’m not sure if that’s still the case.

Sort yourself out. I waa diagnosed 30 years ago. Alarms, tight schedules, you know the drill. Say no to learned helplessness. It doesnt read like adhd it reads like you cant be bothered. I have 5 master lists and 3 or 4 sublists inside each

If adhd meds haven't helped you whats the point? Ditch em, try cold water swimming and strict schedules

So make a dental appointment tomorrow.

You’ve managed to sort this out an hour or so after starting the thread and that’s good.