AIBU to be concerned after a WhatsApp name disappeared from DH's list?

[Morechocmorechoc]

Can someone talk some sense into me. I used DH phone to send myself an image on whatsapp while sat next to him. Happened to see the name of most recent messages sent to as its right there when you send a message. A few mins later I went to send something else and this name had gone from the list. I checked as couldn't help it at this point and he has no messages sent to this person at all. That makes no sense to me as the whole point of the whatsapp list is that its the most recently sent to the most list. Worst thing is the name was someone of the same sex, not even in his contacts. Can someone explain this to me or should I be concerned?

https://faq.whatsapp.com/673193694148537

You’ve caught him having at best an inappropriate contact (otherwise why delete) or at worst an affair.

Chats can be backed up though, check his settings. Also look for things like the Telegram app as that’s often a cheaters app of choice as it’s easier to delete all evidence and less likely to be checked.

Thank you. Would the person not need to at least be in his contacts though or not?

It was a contact and messages that deleted, not single messages. The person’s name has gone because he has deleted it

He could have deleted her from contacts.

I hope it’s nothing, but that feeling you got in the pit of your stomach when you saw it had disappeared, that’s your body telling you that it could be something more. Don’t ignore it, ask him and watch his reaction

Well it was a him, thats whats more confusing. But its not like id be the first person to marry a gay man and I have made jokes to him about it before. Ive questioned him a few time over the years but I always thought it was my lack of trust due to past relationships. He is always present and loving so its weird.

Fair enough I misread.

But not sure why you think it's a woman, OP wrote this: Worst thing is the name was someone of the same sex, not even in his contacts.

Same sex as him is a man surely?

Was it a name or number that you seen and then did you see what the message said? I have had what’s app these week from
recruitment companies
what’s app it’s self
someone pretending to be Amazon
someone telling me I am owed money etc etc

I am deleting and blocking them cos they are spam could it have been this?

Didn't see a message, it just came up in the list of recently frequently used contacts. One message will not land it in that list unfortunately

Just because the name was male, I wouldn’t automatically assume the person behind it is.

Easy enough to add Olivia into your contacts as Oliver…

Why have you automatically lept to your DH being gay?

I assume there is an almighty back story?

It doesn’t look good, no.

I am assuming OP has had previous doubts about her DH sexual orientation. Of course it could be Olivia saved as Oliver etc.

hes Probably moved the contact into locked chats. It won’t show on frequently contacted

Ah, all this stuff is didnt know about whatsapp. Thank you. Its just a feeling I've had. Cant explain it really and I have no great justification. Just a few small things over many years really. Individually they are all something you wouldn't think about, but something just seems off in my head.

Could it have been spam? I have occasionally received messages from people I don’t know.
If you have other concerns though then I often think there’s no smoke without fire.

You think your H could be gay? You know him best, so you’re probably right.

Sounds like he’s moved that chat to locked chats - basically password protected invisible chats

Could he have archived it?

My gay bestie has always maintained that half the men on Grindr are married and ‘straight’. So if your suspicions as correct there’s plenty of husbands around who play both fields. I hope you’re wrong. I don’t like the deleting messages part though. Very suspicious.

See, it wouldn’t occur to me to give this a second thought, and the way your mind leapt here suggests there’s a significant back story.

This doesn’t stop it going into frequent chats. It just stops it being in the main chat

it could be something dodgy, but my WhatsApp has been glitching in all kinds of weird ways lately and Googling to fix the various issues shows I’m not alone in that

Because mine saved his emotional affair under the name of an old male friend.

OP just needs to ask him and check reaction. Hopefully it’s nothing, but I’d be surprised

You've questioned him several times over the years about being gay? Why?