AIBU to be concerned after a WhatsApp name disappeared from DH's list?

[Morechocmorechoc]

Can someone talk some sense into me. I used DH phone to send myself an image on whatsapp while sat next to him. Happened to see the name of most recent messages sent to as its right there when you send a message. A few mins later I went to send something else and this name had gone from the list. I checked as couldn't help it at this point and he has no messages sent to this person at all. That makes no sense to me as the whole point of the whatsapp list is that its the most recently sent to the most list. Worst thing is the name was someone of the same sex, not even in his contacts. Can someone explain this to me or should I be concerned?

dont know why I question his sexuality, maybe just he is more sensitive than most men,

Quite a leap then. My DS13 is very sensitive (like me) but he's def into girls (he knows that I wouldn't care if he was gay but he def isn't- seen him around girls and it's quite obvious 😅). But it would be sad if his future wife thought he was gay just because he's sensitive.
I'm not into classic girl stuff- no interest in clothes hair makeup. My dh takes longer than me getting ready but he's def not gay either.

My Whatsapp shows the most recent message first, even if one off message. I thought that was the default (unless you have pinned contacts)?

I think you are jumping to conclusions. If you are always sharing phones then far more likely that it's a spam/marketing/confirmation type message and he's deleted it because it's not of any interest. On the other hand because you are jumping to conclusions on the basis of really not very much, perhaps you should be questioning why?

Surely the fact that it was a man's name doesn't mean anything by itself, if he were to be up to no good? I've seen many times on here that someone has saved another woman's contact in their phone under a man's name. Not saying he IS up to something, as I couldn't possibly know that.

Check the blocked contacts on WhatsApp maybe it’s gone there.

The thing with WhatsApp is you can hide things to make it impossible. There’s ways to hide messages under secret codes so the message won’t show unless you enter the secret code.

If my DH checked my WhatsApp he’d see two of my most frequent contacts are men he doesn’t know. Both of them are recruiters who I’m talking to about jobs. Both have (imo) not very professional pictures which even I think looks dodgy!
Talk to your DH

My most recent/most frequent list changes constantly without any sort of reason

Its just because there are no messages from this person and he never bothers to delete any spam ever! The rest of it is all right there.

Its stemmed from a few things over the years, like hearing a phone go off a couple of times that is not his as his is next to us off. Him coming home with a 'work phone' that was ckearly not a phone his work would use and getting flustered when asked.

There was a time when he watched sime porn when first was born and i was dealing with a screaming newborn, instead of clearing up and doing jobs he was doing that. Then when I asked to see thr history it was magically gone.

Just the odd thing spread out.

Well the second phone things is a bit odd isn’t it.

Does he let you pick that one up and use it freely?

He apparently gave it back the next day as didnt want it!

@Morechocmorechoc OK so many red flags. I would get my Mrs Marple coat on and investigate.

What's your sex life like? What has it been like

Certainly could be a woman listed with a man’s name or simply be a man?

My WhatsApp contacts change frequently i wouldnt read anything into it unless its part of an on going suspicion

Given your updates I'm not surprised you are suspicious OP.
Tbh the image of him sitting watching porn while you were struggling with his new born baby is absolutely repulsive and would make me lose any love or respect for him.
And the business with his second phone sounds pretty damming.

And was it gay porn? Not that I presume you have to be gay to find thst attractive

I have no idea as he deleted the history. Although he said he didnt delete it!!

You can lock chats & hide them within WhatsApp. So you type a secret word and only then does X chat with X person show. It’s quite complex and secretive!

Uninstall and reinstall WhatsApp. It will reinstall to the most recent back up. Hopefully he hasn't thought to delete and backup after.

What happened in the end?