AIBU to feel frustrated about manager's repeated maternity leave?

[ShesPregnantAgain]

My manager, let's call her Betty, has just announced her fifth pregnancy. I've enthusiastically congratulated her but I'm actually pissed off. She's barely been at work for the past 7 years. She gets pregnant, that makes her ill so she's off for most of her pregnancy, then 9 months on maternity leave, comes back and a few months later does it all again.

The job she used to do doesn't really exist any more. The company's moved on: all the people, systems and expectations are different. They get in maternity cover for her every time so someone gets trained up, actually does a good job, does a handover when she comes back and then leaves. It's so disruptive.

I know the company can't fire her for pregnancy-related sickness or for taking maternity leave per her statutory rights. They can't even performance manage her because she's never here long enough, or appoint one of her covers to do the job permanently. None of us can work for promotion to her level because that would discriminate against her. Her manager does promote people out sideways and upwards but she's just there, filling the role without actually doing anything. We all just get on without her.

I know that women, me included, benefit from these protections because of the crap women suffered in the past. I just think she's taking the piss.

You're not being unreasonable. Your colleague may have rights and be maxing them out, not much you or your company can do about that but the wfh whilst looking after three pre schoolers for the tiny amount of time she does actually work is taking the piss. You're in a difficult situation (and I'm guessing your managers are too since otherwise I assume they may have challenged this) in that you take advantage of the flexibility when your children are unwell so it is difficult for the managers to make that the issue to tackle with her without also punishing you, but it is an issue.

My advice, ride it out as best you can if you like the job as your employers sound far more flexible than most would be. Also maybe dial back with the baby gifts/congrats - you are under no obligation to celebrate your colleague's fertility. In some senses being super cheerful about it is betraying yourself since this impacts you and she will absolutely know that - she clearly isn't daft.

So you discriminate against younger women? That's nice. What is your cut off age for women? Women can get pregnant until their mid to late 40s. So how do you decide.

My friend was made redundant the week before she returned to work from maternity leave as were a few others. If the job she had seven years ago doesn't really exist anymore the company could do this.

You should not be an employer.

An old work colleague I stayed in vague contact with did this.
Started a new job, worked there about 18 months, went off to have first baby. When first baby was almost a year old, had baby number two. She has recently gone back to work, having proudly announced on FB that she's had 23 months off on back to back maternity leaves.

Imagine sinking your life savings into a small business, paying yourself a meagre salary if profits allow and then employing the OP's manager as a senior member of your team ...

Why not if it's a small business will make a huge difference. I wouldn't want my bosses business to go under because someone kept getting pregnant.

And when these men chose to take shared paternity leave for 6 months or these women start suffering with menopause- how do you cope poor misogynist little employer?

She’s taking the piss

This reads like a revenge fantasy. There are no women looking after loads and loads of chiildrenand working from home and the employer is totally cool with it. Nor are there employers with maternity leave policies allowing any of this.

Because they systematically and illegally discriminate against a whole section of society and think this is absolutely fine.

Oh for god’s sake. If she was on mumsnet you’d all be telling her she was great for keeping her job and never be a SAHM. Let me guess, she’s only allowed two kids five years apart.

I agree. That employer is disgusting. Just dont hire fertile women. 🤢

Is this a public sector role?

If you read, I asked ‘why is more than 2, too many?’

According to you family sizes must be limited now, if women work? Why?

See, I think this is fine. Have your kids close together like that means one long lot of maternity leave. Really easy for an employer to manage. It's the stop-start-stop that is frustrating here.

This is private sector. Not a small company but not huge either.

At my last employer this would mean an immediate revocation of your right to WFH (unless extenuating circumstances like kids were home as sick or something) and we were all very happy with that rule, because there are very few roles where you can do childcare and work simultaneously and stay effective at either.
You could suggest this rule at your employer, it’s not discriminatory to expect people to focus on work during the hours they’re being paid to do it.

No one thinks family size should be limited if you work. Only that if you choose to have more than 2 kids, you shouldn't have an automatic entitlement to endless paid maternity leaves and for your job to be kept open. She's not a poor working mum - she's a grifter!
Have as many kids as you like, but not on your employers/other tax payers' dime!

Is she being paid for all these maternity leaves…? Surely you need to have worked for a period of time to access five company paid maternity leaves? Maybe she won’t return if she is able to afford five children?

No idea. I wouldn't discuss finances with her.

I'm really hoping our last cover person, who was with us for babies 3 and 4, is free to come back. She was excellent.

You kind of have to admire her in some ways....she has a great set up and is prioritising her family.

I don't like it or respect it but if she can do it, why wouldn't she?

Management sound weak especially given she has kids on screen when WFH.

FFS that's inane

I've had a try at understanding your original question and I'm leaving aside the reasonableness of the law etc and B's circumstances and just thinking about your real world work situation.

You said B's manager was promoting people around the line structure.

Is it possible for you to train to take on B's job without actually attempting to dislodge her (you have explained this can't be done in any straightforward way either legally or as some previous posters would say, morally). But it seems potentially possible to ask your 1-1 person if you could train for that role 'in case it or a similar one becomes available' at some future time and would also put you in the right position to 'act up' if thats the right term or temporarily take on the role if another extended leave occurs.

This might then enable you to apply for the next rung in due course. I realise I'm making a lot of guesses about your company structure.

If you were the person doing B's maternity cover, in effect, it would create a cover role at your usual level but perhaps that would be preferable all round? As you have maintained a good relationship with B she might even welcome it and support you.

As total outsider with no knowledge of the ins and out of employment law and good practice it seems a reasonable way for your employer to support your career development.

Also, if you really did one day get to the point of wanting a change you might be in a stronger position to apply for a new job altogether.

Good luck with it all.

Someone I worked with in retail did this. She then came back off her second maternity leave and had a go at me for not leaving any work for her to do. We never had cover so just got used to doing more between us each time. Then when I eventually handed in my notice I was told by senior management that they were sad I was leaving as they had just recommended me to do the next batch of management training. This colleagues face was an absolute picture when my line manager mentioned this in front of our whole team. I was very much like "get back in your box, we've covered you for the past 3 years whilst you've played the system what do you expect?"

And she's not working....