Is it okay to stop birthday and Christmas gifts after my nieces and nephews turn 18?

[Auntietoseven]

I am the childfree aunt. I am single. I live alone. I work an admin role. (Think that's the context set !)

I have four nieces and three nephews to whom I have always given £25 each at xmas and £25 each at birthdays (£1,225 a year). I know it isn't loads but they do always say thank you - no issues there or anything. They are very polite and lovely children!

Unfortunately I am not really able to spend on them in other ways throughout the year, because what I do for one, I have to spend the value by x7 to make sure I am fair to them all! So it wipes out spontaneity.

For the 18th birthday of each (first one in turning 18 January) I was planning a larger gift (perhaps £150) and then no further gifts as they're into adulthood.

As parents, do you think this mean or is it okay?

I'm the childfree aunt in our family, with four nieces and nephews. I'm stopping at 21. (One down, three to go.)

My aunt sent me Christmas and birthday presents until she was too frail to do that. And I carried on sending her presents. A dear, dear lady.

My aunt still sends me gifts but I also buy for her. I wouldn't be offended if someone stopped buying my DC. I'd personally send them a card at least for a few more years.

It's an individual thing, I am in the same boat as you, but with grand N+Ns now too!

I personally couldn't stop at any given age, but it happened naturally since when they began to have their own kids, the N+N parents' gifts stopped. But then went down to the grand N+Ns! The childless ones still get theirs.

It's just the way I roll. I can afford it though thankfully, so if you are finding gift giving after a certain age is a financial drain, do as you suggested. They will understand. You have been a fab auntie all the way along anyway.

I stopped from 21, only because I hadn't thought of it when they were 18.

Absolutely fine to do that and I wouldn't be buying them a big present for the final time either.

Chances are, unless you live very near them, they'll drift away from your life soon anyway and you'll not see them again until your very old and they're wanting to get into your will - joking but not joking!

I would go up to 21 to see them through uni

Childless aunt here too! I have 9 nephews
and nieces. I’ve stopped at 21 and given a
larger amount of money for that birthday, apart from my oldest nephew who is my godson. Still 7 to give presents to! My parents stopped buying for their nieces and nephews at 21 so guess that’s where I got the idea from.

I realise this isn’t the point but isn’t 7x50 (25 birthday 25 Christmas, 7 nieces and nephews) per year each,?equalling £350 not £1225?

I just never bought for my nieces and nephew. And my siblings didn't buy for my kids. So never had this problem

It's not obligitary

Yes I stop at 18, with the exception of 21st.

Talk me through the maths of 7 x £25 for birthdays plus 7 x £25 for Christmas equalling £1225...?

Perfectly fine, OP.

My childless sister stopped gifts at 18. My DD and her cousins adore their aunt and have no problem with her decision.

I'll be stopping. My oldest niece had her 18th this year. She still lives at home and is being paid for a FT apprenticeship role. She likely has more disposable income than me.

Likewise I myself had a lot of aunts and uncles who generously sent gifts and money through my childhood. Did not begrudge any of them stopping when I got older, especially given that many of them now choose to send things to my own children. I send cards but that's the extent of it on my side. They've done more than enough and I hope my own neices / nephews will see it that way, too.

We stop at 18 in our family. Like someone said, you see them a lot less once they're adults. I still send cards and my sister still adds all their names (and the eldest's fiancé's name!) to her card.

Yes it’s fine, but still send a card with a nice message inside.

Phenomenally expensive cards made of gold leaf from Harrods?!

Yes just realised I made a hash of my post originally! It was my rough total for all the family present spending I’d been working through, not the kids’ presents alone. I edited the post down afterwards and somehow left the old total sitting there. 🤦‍♀️ It is £350 for the kids

Sounds perfectly reasonable. The only unacceptable thing that some people do (obviously not what you are doing) is to take it from when the oldest child hits 18 or 21, and then the younger ones miss out.

This seems particularly popular amongst CFs who have the older children, who have received money/presents from aunt and uncle for all their lives; but they insist on 'stopping it now they're adults', even though the aunt and uncle's children are still young!

Not unreasonable at all! Call me a scrooge, but all Christmas gifts stop in my family once you hit adulthood, and I bloody love it. I have 3 people to buy for at Christmas, my 2 children and my little niece, that's it. No stress, no debt, just good food and good fun 😁

*Edited to add that we do still do Birthdays for adults in my family, but we have a REALLY tiny family, we absolutely wouldn't if it was bigger!

I buy for friends kids and stop at 18i will do the same for cousins

if you want to carry on maybe only do birthdays as split over the year and not 7 x £ in Dec for Xmas

We stopped at 18, it's the age of majority so it makes sense.

Honestly, it’s fine to stop earlier if you want. Make a decision and apply it across the board. The parents have no say in it at all..

@Auntietoseven thats absolutely fine to do. Just let their parent know that you’ll be stopping gifts once they’re an adult, so that they can pre-warn the adult kid when it’s near Christmas or next birthday not to expect anything.

We always joke to our son that he’ll just be getting socks once he turns 18.

I stopped at 18, with a larger present.

(3+4) x £50 = £350 though.

I'm not child free, but my brother and I agreed to stop buying presents for each other's children after age 18.