AIBU to use an unoccupied pool changing cubicle left full of belongings?

[Noddyslittleredcar]

Local authority pool, exclusively used for kids swimming lessons between 4 and 7. All lessons are 30 minutes, all starting and ending at the same time. 5 lessons with about 10 kids FS in each, so 50 kids. No idea how many cubicles, I'd estimate 50 but haven't counted.

Family changing rooms, so all cubicles. There are lockers and parents viewing area with chairs.

The pool periodically sends out emails telling people not to "reserve" changing room cubicles by leaving their clothes in for the duration of the lesson. Idea is the child changes and the adult takes their stuff to the viewing area. And yet, every week, almost all changing rooms have clothes, towels, bags and school book bags in them for the duration of the lesson. This means if you have to get your child changed before the lesson (like we do), there are no free spaces.

This week I went in a cubicle with stuff in it, because there were no free ones. Waiting would mean my child missed part of her lesson.

The parent shouted at me - actually shouted. "That's my changing room and you've taken it" and banging on the door. Her child was still in the water. I continued to get my child dressed, and came out - before the lesson got the children out the water. I explained she wasn't supposed to "reserve" cubicles like that. She said "it had my stuff in it".

So was I being unreasonable?

This is a weekly occurrence. They don't man the changing area so no employee to speak with, just reception and then the swim teachers who obviously can't come and police the changing rooms.

I have complained to the pool before now and an email goes out, but nothing changes.

The "only sixty seconds" scenario described by @SillyBry is credible if there just happens to be a changing cubicle with stuff in it, but that's an exception and most cubicles are unencumbered. In @Noddyslittleredcar's scenario every single cubicle has stuff in it and all the parents are there sitting by the side of the pool watching the lesson, they are not fetching a different sibling from their lesson or taking a different child to the loo, there is a cultural endemic selfishness among too many of the families that they are all going to reserve cubicles and whoever arrives last isn't allowed access to ANY cubicle. If that nasty selfish attitude wasn't prevalent then the majority of cubicles would be empty and @Noddyslittleredcar has plenty of places she can use to get her DC changed, and @SillyBry's sixty second absence is inconveniencing no one. In the unlikely event that despite there being prevailing cultural selfishness like this at @Noddyslittleredcar's pool, she was unlucky enough that the cubicle she randomly picked happened to be from a non-selfish person who was just doing a sixty-second dash like @SillyBry then she wouldn't have responded so aggressively - she would have agreed with OP about how awful all the other nasty selfish parents are, and made efforts to explain that the cubicle was actively in current use albeit with a short absence for a loo trip or whatever.

This is a mixed sex changing room, there isn't a gendered changing room.

Nope. Not least because it's always the people who want to do a complete beauty routine then chat with friends who do this.

All the pools around us have "changing villages". No gendered communal areas.

I usually help them out by putting their clothes in a locker, leaving a tell-tale item sticking out so they can eventually find them.

Assuming your eldest was done changing, you were done with the cubicle in that moment and someone else should be able to use it in your absence. I will grant you that as you were not aware she was going to leave the cubicle (I assume), this may just be one of those rare exceptions where you could not have foreseen it. However, in almost every given situation, if you are not physically in the cubicle, your stuff should not be in there either.

I can get one kid changed in a couple of minutes - someone's "I'm just gonna..." amounts to the sum total of time I need the cubicle for.

Totally disagree. You're not using it, so someone else should be able to (and shouldn't have to hesitate because of a bunch of stuff already in the cubicle).

A table in a café feels different to me as people will be intending to sit there for a long time, and leisurely. Cubicles are only needed quickly and for just a few minutes per user, so there is no good reason for you to block one with your things (which do not have a need for the cubicle) when someone else could be getting fully changed whilst you are in the shower.

Duplicate

This was very effective when they did it at our pool. The bad behaviour stopped very quickly. Think it was literally only one week of it.

I do this every week and lock the door and calmly take the time we need. When I get out there is always a shivering child whose stuff is in the cubicle. Every week I calmly state to the parent that it is first come first served and you can expect this if you leave your stuff in a changing room instead of taking it with you. Eventually people will learn they can’t be selfish. If they shout I just stare at them. We can all be better than this sort of dickish self-centredness.

Ah I miss this game! We had exactly the same at our pool! Every week without fail there would be lots of cubicles with things left in them to reserve, emails sent out saying not to and to use the lockers provided yet some thought they were better than others. Have to say in our pool it did seem to be a certain ethnicity that were the culprits. Our email did state that if staff found left belongings they would be put in a locker by them. If I needed to I removed the items and popped them at the nearest part of the change room that I could which was mainly by the bin as that was on a little step up so I thought at least the items wouldn’t be on the floor getting wet. I did have one approach me and ask why and I just denied all knowledge said the room was free when I got there and maybe the staff removed it like the emails said 😂 I noticed she never did it again.

Or take it to reception and tell them someone left it.

If I had time to do that I would have time to wait for a free cubicle!

The nicest thing I could do was leave the items where they were - dry and untouched.

This can happen at my local pool too, although the kids were in the showers. I went about asking parents if they had left stuff in the cubicle and one mum sheepishly did come and move it. Not sure why I did that - just got fed up I suppose. Of course you are not being unreasonable. She probably just felt a bit scared you would damage or steal her things but she should have thought of that!

My solution to this would be to put their stuff in a locker, lock it, pocket the key and take it home with you. Unlock it the following week. Or less evil, just remove the stuff and put it in the floor outside the cubicle. Or put it in another cubicle where belongings have been left.
We have the same issue at our pool.

Why don't you ask the swimming pool manager to put up signs on the cubicle doors, as clearly the emails are being ignored. If someone challenges you, you can just point at the door - it won't cost them money to put up a laminated sign or just pay for one big one on the wall

Noone would do this where I live as a good chance half the stuff would get pinched or maybe put somewhere interesting.

People leaving stuff in cubicles was an issue at our local pool until the staff started putting everything in near by lockers randomly and strangely people stopped leaving things. Definitely not in the wrong OP

YANBU!

This drives me (& other parents) crazy at our local council run pool when we are there for kids swimming lessons

Now I just move the bag into a free locker opposite the cubicle & leave the door open

Staff members at the pool go round and do this

One twatty parent kicked off at the staff about them moving their bag/towel which they were off watching child’s lesson

It so busy & hectic with all the kids having lessons you can’t just ‘reserve’ a cubicle by leaving your belongings in there

Once again, YANBU!!!

I'd take a bin bag. Put everything from he cubicle in it and leave it outside the cubicle. You have every right to evict them. I wouldn't risk being inside a secluded space with another person's belongings. You risk things like "where's my xxxx gone?". Totally unreasonable behaviour from the other parent. The pool managemen need to put signs up stating that belongings left in unoccupied cubicles will be removed. Maybe have a pile of baskets to emphasise how likely that is to happen.