AIBU to think my 9 to 5 comment was misread?

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Have I been rude? I really didn’t mean to be if it looks like I was.
I was talking to a family member of mine a while ago about storage for my shed. I wanted to get some shelving so that I could store supplies for emergencies, you know as we’ve been advised, tinned food etc.
So this Family member proceeded to tell me about our Facebook page in our local town where people give away free things, like shelves or bookcases etc so I might be able to get one on there for free. Brilliant, I thought so I joined.
This morning I had a message from the Family member asking did I manage to get the bookcase that was on a few days ago that it would’ve been perfect? And that there is currently another shelf during the week, but she thinks it could be gone. I said no, and these were my exact words “I didn’t see the bookcase at all, oh well, I saw the shelf there too but by the time I got to it it had been taken. The joys of working Mon-Fri 9-5! 😅”
She responded about an hour ago, saying “ I don’t know what you were implying by saying that you work 9 to 5 is it supposed to be a dig at me? I may not go to work but I work hard here at home. I won’t be helping you anymore.”

To be honest, I haven’t responded. I’m sitting here on my lunch break and I don’t really know what to say because that wasn’t my intention and I didn’t even ask for help… what would you say? Have I been rude? Do I apologise?

You weren't rude. But I have to say in the circumstances I'd be tempted to reply to that flounce with 'You know, Helen, you're right -- you should get a salary for carrying that giant chip full-time.'

Ok thanks all, haven’t read all the replies but i apologised for offending and explained I didn’t mean it like that. Just caught me out of the blue is all…

I could…but anything posted earlier would be gone 🫠🫠 I can’t check every 5 mins like

It’s a bit rude to whip out your phone in the middle of a meeting and start scrolling through facebook. I deliver sessions In work too so can’t do it then. We are not allowed to walk on our phones so I can’t do it in between meetings whilst walking to my desk, etc. so that leaves lunch break and toilet breaks?…

Well, when it’s free and once or twice and based solely on my small town it is funnily enough.

Ye gods!

How ridiculous. Not sure why anyone would choose to read snideness into that

Some people just seem to prefer life when it's more miserable

Meh!

You weren’t rude. They were testy and combative. Are they always like that?

Yes that’s the whole point of this page. Everything is given away free…

She’s likely insecure and self conscious about not working so took it as a dig.

You didn't intend it as a dig. It can be read as one. She is being sensitive but it is lilely she has heard digs before and is a bit insecure. I have a clean wfh office job and hear a lot of comments about it so I am a nit sensitive to comments even if theyre not aimed at me

I dunno maybe you were not being sarky but the fact you didn't just say you were busy with work and gave the 9-5 Mon-Fri thing when you know she doesn't work certainly would sound like you were making a dig at her. I appreciate you may not have been but specifics like that do sound like digs.

Unfortunately this is what can happen with messages rather than a verbal conversation. Your comment was made with the intention of being humorous but unfortunately the family member has read it as a dig at her. The comment (even with the exclamation mark) could be read both ways. You haven’t said anything wrong and the family member is allowed to take the comment how they read it. Not sure if I knew the family member wasn’t working I would have used that specific comment, would probably have left it at been really busy and haven’t had chance to look yet.

And friends in health/teaching say they sometimes struggle to get a toilet break, so I wouldn't find it weird if they were offline for ages! But OP, I'd just say there was no slight, you were merely explaining why you hadn't seen it.

You posted at 2pm and 4pm.

So it would appear there’s some generous flexibility in your “Woe is me I’m flat out 9-5!!!”

Sometimes the written word can be taken the wrong way, as happened in this case. I'd ignore her.

Just say sorry, you didn't mean it that way and that you value her sharp eye on the shelves.

I’m taken aback at all these people who look at their phone in the working day. Definitely no phones allowed where I work.

Oh my days some people just live for being offended, finding issues with any little comment. How on earth they find the energy I’ll never know.

At best it was a bit clumsy and at worst it was a dig.

Only you know which one it was but I agree with the poster about apologising that you caused offence, whether you intended to or not.

I wouldn't have taken it like that but then I'm working! I wonder if she gets a lot of comments (I don't mean from you) about having loads of time and not working so is more sensitive about it than you might expect. If you didn't mean it to be a dig just apologise and explain?

Doesn’t sound like a dig at all. You were explaining why you hadn’t seen the items. If she’s taken it as a slight towards her then it’s because she’s got a chip on her shoulder about not working. You absolutely did nothing wrong. I wouldn’t even respond to her she sounds like hard work.