AIBU to think wearing shoes indoors is a bit odd?

[Livefreely]

For thinking it’s weird to wear shoes inside the house?! Had a couple over last week for lunch and they never took shoes off- even if it’s not bad weather the bottom of shoes are filthy!! So would they go round their house all day in shoes? So weird to me!!
now I’m cleaning my floors as they are so dirty!

This is a very common thread. In the UK it seems to be the done thing to walk around inside in outdoor shoes. The rest of the world pretty much wouldn’t dream of doing this. So it’s a quirk. It does bring dirt from outside into your house but people seem ok with that.

Why not just wear them in bed too

Not necessarily; it often depends on cultural background. It's normal in the Nordics and Baltics not to wear outside shoes inside. It's nothing to do with being posh.

The rest of the world doesn’t include the US and half of Europe then?

@Throwaway65131and in your garden! And probably people have pissed and worn their shit covered clothes to sit on seats on public transport! What about the door handles and everything you touch on a day to day basis! Are you licking your floor when you come home? I don’t think anyone is saying walking around in wet, visibly dirty shoes and if it’s a shoes off culture thing fine! But the germ thing is just pedantic!

It's not even so much germs, but there's all sorts out there to potentially stand in - petrol station forecourts with spilled petrol/diesel, people spit on the pavement, dogs poo and wee in the street and there's residue, people throw up, herbicides are sprayed on pavements...I just dislike the thought of any of that on my nice clean floors that I sit on and do yoga on.

And I will also change when getting back home if I've been sitting on public transport or a park bench something, for similar reasons.

It's not an attack on people who don't, though. We all just need to do whatever we feel comfortable with.

We have family in the US. I can’t speak for the nation as a whole, but can honestly say no American has ever asked me to remove my shoes across several states and many decades.

It's not bizarre in the slightest. If you suffer from poor circulation, feet can get very cold very quickly in just socks. In addition, if a lot of the houses you visit have young children there is a high chance of stepping.on some lego or other small toys which are not terribly feet-friendly. And if you're diabetic you can easily have a sharp.object stuck in your foot without noticing.

The UK is a multicultural country though, so there are many cultures in Britain that are shoes off - does my mum get a cultural pass because she grew up in Finland or is she lower class because she insists on shoes off in Britain?

Yes, ish, but I think it's a bit more nuanced than that, and comes down in part to distinctions within social classes.

This is Kate Fox's Watching the English on social class and flooring (she doesn't address 'shoes on/off')

...the way in which we arrange, furnish and decorate our homes is largely determined by social class. This has little or nothing to do with wealth. Upper-class and upper-middle-class homes tend to be shabby, frayed and unkempt in a way no middle-middle or lower-middle would tolerate, and the homes of the wealthiest working-class nouveaux-riches are full of extremely expensive items that the uppers and upper-middles regard as the height of vulgarity. The brand-new leather sofas and reproduction-antique dining chairs favoured by the middle-middles may cost ten times as much as the equivalent items in the houses of upper-middles, who despise new leather and ‘repro’.

In the homes of the middle-middles and below, the ‘lounge’ (as they call it) is more likely to have a fitted carpet (among the older working classes, this may be a patterned carpet). The higher castes prefer bare floorboards, often part-covered with old Persian carpets or rugs.

UC and UMC would regard asking a guest to take off their shoes as a minor social crime -- as nouveau riche, gauche and anxious about protecting a house that should be robust, lived-in and above minor damage, even if the Persian rugs are priceless. Shabby gentility should be able to cope with dirt.

LMC and WC are more likely to ask visitors to take their shoes off as there's often a different, very houseproud idea of the home, as immaculate private sanctuary from the grubby outside world. Also, traditionally, a fitted carpet is likely to have been a significant financial outlay, which needs protecting. (See also leaving the plastic covers on sofas or three-piece suites.)

Having said that, Kate Fox also acknowledges that the influence of interior design programmes has altered flooring choices

Thanks to the influence of the upper-middle-class interior designers who dominate the many home-improvement programmes on television, some formerly clear class-indicators are no longer so reliable. Middle-middle, lower-middle and even working-class homes may now have wooden floors rather than fitted carpets (and even the naffest of nouveaux riches now avoid the deep-pile variety).

But the idea that the pristine floor must be guarded and protected has lingered, even with wooden flooring that can be mopped clean quickly and easily.

Culture beats social class in that context!

When you can see it's a no-shoe household, yes, it's obviously rude not to comply. But I strongly feel it's the people who impose a no-shoes rule on their guests who initiate the rudeness in the first place.

I wouldn’t ask someone to remove them for that reason however I think it’s rude of the guest not to offer when they clearly see their hosts take theirs off.

Fun fact. Where I am from, even many offices have people changing to slippers🙈 My mum has comfy office slippers as do all her colleagues.

When I was at vocational school a few years ago many of us in the class brought comfy slippers with us to change into for classroom lessons - so much nicer than being in shoes or winter boots all day long!

"Shoes off" is often attributed to Hyacinth Bucket, of the TV show Keeping Up Appearances in the early 90s. She would often demand that "tradesmen" removed their shoes, including policemen, to protect her herringbone wood block and grade one Axminster carpets, but she would wear shoes in the house herself. "Richard and I never have this problem, because we always wear leather!"

I think one reason we all laughed our heads off at Hyacinth was because at the time, in the early 90s, it was relatively unusual to ask guests to remove their shoes. (The whole cast was also very white and very British, which is rarely seen on television now.) It's interesting also that there is the expectation to remove shoes in homes, but not in offices: indeed, "kicking off one's shoes" is often a metaphor for relaxing, and if someone does this in an office, they are unduly relaxed.

And somebody on Mumsnet once said that removing shoes in the home is a global standard. Yeah, right.

My family growing up was very shoes on and i never thought anything of it. Now in my owm home I am very much shoes off. Now going to visit my parents it seems so uncomfortable to be wearing shoes sitting in the comfort of your own home. I cant wait to whip mine off as soon as I walk in the door

Culture definitely beats social class. It is fair enough if you are from a country where shoes off is normal
to continue that tradition here.

Otherwise it is rude and uncouth to ask people to remove shoes because of your cream carpets.

We don’t wear shoes indoors but don’t ask people to take them off. DH and my parents do not take shoes off indoors. I think I do it because growing up the majority of my friends were from China/Taiwan/Japan. No idea why DH does it now (his sibs don’t) other than he’s been around me too long. I don’t like wearing shoes! I also worked in an office where people didn’t wear shoes for a long time. I started a new job, sat down and took my shoes off without even thinking and then felt like a right weirdo!!

DC will take shoes off at the playground which I think is grim and generally does not like wearing them either.

Just to be clear - I take my shoes off at home but would never ask guests to as that is rude.

It's not as simple as that. Someone I know had difficulty doing their shoes up.putying on etc.
Once they've got their shoes on they can't keep taking them off every 5 mins and putting them on again when they are popping outside or come they.mighht be going out again soon also.
Typical I'll thought out post

One size dosent fit all either. Goady pointless thread
Just do what's right for you.

Yep. Shoes for outdoors, slippers for indoors.

I have a baby that regularly crawls across my floors that I want to keep from germs.

Outdoor shoes are worn in areas of pollution, public toilets, streets where animals pee and poop etc. I don’t want this in my house

one of my best friends is a no shoe person. Fine, I comply but it’s all a bit of a faff. But I remember finding it particularly galling once when after driving her her way across the country from a weekend away, she invited me in for a coffee, I said I wouldn’t as I really had to head home, but could I quickly pop in and use the loo? She made me take my (perfectly clean) shoes off at the door in order to then use the loo. The loo was next to the front door, I didn’t even need to step off the mat into hallway.

So shoes off being respectful for somebody's household isn't allowed, if they are born in the UK? 🙄

It's all great if you have a cleaner do it for you isn't it? Unfortunately most of us have to do our own housework.