Scouts weekend trip- would you expect updates/a few photos?

[icedout]

If your child has gone on an overnight trip with scouts, is it unreasonable to expect a few group photos or a quick update from the leaders? It’s DS first trip away and he was a little apprehensive camping for the first time. We’ve not received a single photo or update on the group chat. I messaged privately & got a very general reply with an implied don’t bother me again so I’m left feeling uneasy. It’s cubs scouts and ds is age 8.

I am being unreasonable - parents don’t need to be updated at all
YANBU - parents should be sent a group pic/update daily.

I think if you are not confident that your child can manage, it would be a really good idea to volunteer and go along with them. I constantly struggle with this because my kid doesn't manage very well and I am not in good enough health to always accompany him.

I've been along to cub camp as a volunteer and if we had to spend time sending photos and messages, then that would be taking away time that we need to spend looking after the kids. The kids really need a lot of looking after and constant vigilance to make sure they are not doing anything dangerous, so you really don't want the leaders looking at their phones.

I think it would be better to just let the leaders get on with doing what they need to do to keep everyone safe.

If you do not have confidence that your child and the leaders can cope you should probably not send your child.

Scout/Explorer leader here. No, we don’t post regular updates during camp. We’re too busy with activities, cooking, looking after the Scouts. And reception on many camp sites is really bad. You need to get used to the idea that no news is good news ☺️

@GoldenGirl85 So a photo never lies then? Is never staged? Of course a photo tells you nothing. My dd did a ski trip at 9 and the only info we got all week was that the flight home was cancelled and they had rebooked the whole group via another airport in Italy. They were going to be late back!

OP

My nephew was about 2 years older than our DS when he came back from camp with stiches.

It's only a couple of days, if you need to know anything you will be told.

DS9 did his first weekend cubs trip in the summer (he was 8 then) and we heard nothing from friday evening when we dropped off to when we collected him Sunday.

I was very nervous. We did get photos of her smiling which helped

This is managing your anxiety - nothing about your child being nervous, just you needing reassurance from a photo.

I know you think I'm being mean but I'm not- you need to get help for this anxiety, it will only get worse as your child grows and gets more freedom.

A snap shot is also false reassurance, she is not more safe or happy just because you saw one moment.

What exactly is a general end of the day update telling you though? You already know your child is safe and unhurt otherwise they would have contacted you specifically

Being on camp is full on. Sometimes it can be hard to find the time to go to the toilet. Yes we try to send an update but we don't always have the time.

I really take issue with your use of the word expect. Your expectations of the leaders should be child based. What you're asking of them is for your benefit not your child's.

I don’t think you’re being mean, just making a lot of assumptions that are untrue. But whatever, crack on.

I'd expect the leaders are busy looking after the kids. DD went on her first 2 night brownie camp in April, she was still 7. We didn't get any updates until the Sunday when we received lots of pictures etc but I'd rather the leaders were focusing on making it a good experience for the kids rather than updating the parents.

In the unlikely event that the Scout leader is molesting your child, he has probably got enough sense not to do it while the camera is on.

DD was a Scout/Explorer and then helped with Beavers and Cubs, incl. camps.

DH is the head group volunteer so I see a lot of background.

With the younger ones there is maybe a FB message on the group one with a photo of the location/children from behind and "all good, having fun, see you on Sunday".

Photos of children have to be carefully monitored, they have to check that no child whose photo can't be shared is accidentality posted so these ones are done when they return and the leaders have time to shift through them.
We saw more on a week-long camp with the Explorers but that was because they stayed in hostels/larger sites with decent wifi and with teens the leaders did have a bit more space to do this.

Your DS's leaders will be busy controlling/herding 8-0 year old with very little sleep themselves.

Hmm. I used to take Brownies away. Settled for the night - if we were lucky, the last couple might finally have gone to sleep by about 1am. Then the first ones used to wake at about 5am.
There were no cosy evenings - they were spent just trying to get the majority to sleep.
With 4 hours sleep under your belt, sending photos home would not have been my priority.

And even if you can't volunteer to help on trips, please at least collect your child on time at the end. And if you're feeling really nice, perhaps offer to help put all the kit away.

I've been on both sides as a leader and a a parent if 2 very different groups. One had younger leaders and an active WhatsApp group. We would post asking people to bring things for the session, reminders and asking for volunteers etc. We would post updates.

The one my kids went to the leader was almost 70 and very old school. He'd being doing it since he was a scout himself. It was very much drop off and they'll be fine. And they were!
Me and a few mums who knows each other well were apprehensive about first camp so we all volunteered. We each did a 6 hour shift so the kids always had someone they knew and it gave us some reassurance. We didn't attend any after that as we could see they were absolutely fine.

They now have a close FB group and sometimes we get updates and sometimes we don't. Having led camps it is busy but there is some down time. Some leaders are into social media updates and some aren't.

If you don't trust the leaders don't send your children. Pictures or not.

And please remember to thank the leaders and volunteers that went. I’ve had parents think it’s some sort of jolly for us 🙄

I have met parents thinking it was my day job...

I do Girlguiding camps as a leader. I generally do a text update just saying had a good day, everyone off to bed or whatever but I don’t send pics till after the event when I can sort through them. Every other leader I’ve done camps with has also followed this approach, no one is continually uploading photos and updates all day, that would take us away from the girls and the focus is on their experience. I also don’t like modelling always being on my phone, taking photos of them doing stuff instead of actually being present in them doing it, etc.

If I have a particularly nervous child (note that it is generally the parents where the nerves are actually coming from, the girl is almost always absolutely fine after first 20 mins and away from the nervous energy of their parent!) I might send a brief note to parent just saying all is fine, but that’s only in extreme circumstances.

I do think most leaders can find the time for a quick one-liner to the group, but photos can be a pain with permissions and then you get some parents saying ‘Oh is Elodie not wearing her coat, did she really eat X for dinner, she’s looking tired’ and so on. Easier to do the photos when they’re all back home again and parents can see they are unscathed!

Completely agree with you, but if we don't post the bland update, we get lots of 'everything ok' and 'hope they are behaving for you' and 'any updates would be lovely' type messages. 1 general message seems to stop this.

Oh and don't expect that he will have touched his toilet bag either!
Hope he has had the best time🙂

God I miss the 90s with weird helicopter parents.
We could just go to camp and our parents would just be notified if anything happened.
Though parents were more relaxed.

I do understand your feelings though, OP. As a parent I would love to see photos of my girls when they’re away and I am not there with them but as I’m also on the other side, I understand the various reasons why this isn’t possible and that’s just something I have to make peace with as a parent.

I will say that if anything was wrong, if he was genuinely upset for a prolonged period of time, you would hear about it. Leaders are in contact with home contacts (assume Scouting has similar), who are people whose task it is for the weekend to basically keep their phone on them at all times in case they need to liaise with parents. The home contact will be told when everyone has arrived and if all being well, the next update will be them being told when everyone has been collected!

Prepare for him to come home dirty, exhausted and with stuff shoved randomly into his bag and falling out of pockets! And of course full of chat!

I went to cubs and scouts as a child (I'm now 30) and no parents got updates on camps then. Calls home were only for illness/injury. We often took disposable cameras to develop and share with parents when we got home. No phones were allowed.

Enjoy your child free time, when I went the leaders kept camps very busy to combat homesickness and it worked very well.

If the child is a squirrel or beaver then not unreasonable for an update (but this age group are not away for long).
Once in cubs they are 8 and good to have controlled independence - the leaders have lots of experience and will contact parents if a problem. I remember being told that a child on a school or scouts trip is often monitored much more than with the families (an adult will stay awake all night).
My DC's had a whale of a time in the various scout sections learnt loads and as adults are self sufficient.

As an ex-leader (quite a while ago now!), I wouldn't. You don't have permission to photograph all of the children, you're already making sure that everyone's safe/fed/alive/uninjured, signal isn't always the most reliable in some areas, and they're having a grand time. Camps are often their first time away from parents, and the first break for the parents- it's fine for them to have two nights away from home, enjoying themselves! You'll learn all about what they got up to when they get back. Enjoy the peace, and look forward to the tales!