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AIBU?

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Abandoned at 6 weeks pregnant - AIBU to shut down?

360 replies

NattyEagle · Yesterday 14:04

I cannot believe I am typing this but my now ex “partner”of 2 years has given me an ultimatum. Have an abortion and we carry on as a couple, or keep the pregnancy and I will never see his face again. As soon as he said this, we were done!

His initial reaction was apprehensive - I thought it was fair. But I NEVER would have imagined hed do a runner. When I first told him I was pregnant he made it clear that he wasn’t going anywhere - it just wasn't the best time. 3 days later he gave the ultimatum. He was as cold as ice.

He’s being manipulative and saying “don’t let any man tell you what to do, if you want to keep it, that’s fine, but I will not be there”. He had a truth dump and admitted to being a terrible father to his other two kids, beating them, being abusive, and basically not enjoying fatherhood. He loves them “sometimes” but cannot stand the responsibility. The entire time we were together I never met his kids but he claimed to be father of the year, pretending to see them and be with them.

I’ve cut contact with him and blocked him yesterday!

Hes ruined this. He was the one who told me not to take the morning after pill! We agreed we would see what would happen regarding family planning and a baby. Hed go up and down but always maintained it woild be a good thing.

i had a bad feeling that I’ve misjudged who this man is and contacted his ex who I have never spoken to.

she was an Angel and told me he has not seen his other two kids properly in two years due to social services intervention because he badly best their 9 year old. On top of that he was just a terrible terrible partner that financially abused her and beat her. He wouldn’t turn up to visits, ignore them for months at a time. No birthday cards….nothing. He also refused to divorce her and she had to get it done via court order. He told me they were divorced 3 weeks into us dating. The amount of lies exposed in our conversation was something out of a Netflix documentary. He told me she was a housewive….turns out she had 3 jobs while he paid for nothing. When her son was a baby she came home and he had bitten him! Hes a stranger. A stranger. I’m broken.

I basically have been with a compulsive liar and sociopath who saw our relationship as a bit of fun. I ignored a lot of red flags because I’m 34 abojt to turn 35 in December and I’m scared. I’m kicking myself for letting my loneliness consume me.

I don’t want to be pregnant anymore but already had a termination at 31 and cannot bring myself to take the pills. I feel no connection to the pregnancy anymore because of him, and am scared I’m romanticising motherhood out of fear of it not happening for me.

you know how some woman say “F U, I’m keeping it!”. That’s not me! It sounds horrible but I’d love to just have a miscarriage to take the choice out of my hands. I have no desire to be a single mother or raise the child of a compulsive liar. I don’t think I can love this child and heal from his lies. I’m also petrified this is my last chance to be a mum. I guess I’m clinging on to being pregnant - I felt so special and giddy in those short three days before my world was turned upside down.

please give advice and be soft with me. I want to be a mum but not like this. The abortion just feels….wrong. I’m 34 about to be 35. What if I never meet anyone? What if I do but we can’t get pregnant. The abortion I had at 31 was a massive massive relief. This feels like the hardest thing ever. I see no good outcome. Children abandoned by a parent seem to have a lot of trauma no matter how big the village.

my head is saying get rid of it and feel horrible because you deserve to. Deep down inside you knew who this man was and you played with fire because you were desperate. If you don’t have kids after this - that’s the way the cookie crumbles. The other side of my head is saying that I’m just grieving a massive loss and I will forgive him, come to peace with this, and love my child.

please give it to me straight and share your experiences because my brain is fried. I’m 5 weeks + 4

OP posts:
dcadmamagain · Yesterday 18:15

I just wanted to give you a cuddle. You’re between a rock and a hard place. But it’s only you who can make this decision . Whatever decision you make is the right one xx

AllezAllezPronto · Yesterday 18:16

Oh dear. so sorry.
If his son has ADHD or other neurodiversity, many are genetic and it's quite possible this baby will have them. If it's a boy he is more likely to look like his father. Is that a life you want?

I'd forget about being 35 almost.
Put that to one side. You do not want a child at any price.
And you are not too old to conceive again - you have at least another 5-6 years (I know friends who had 2 children between 36 and 40., their first at 37.)

Anything could happen- you could meet a lovely man in a year.
You could even consider a sperm donor.

Any of those options are better IMO than having a child with a man you now hate and whose DNA might also affect his children's behaviour, health, etc.

The question is - do you want THIS baby at THIS time, with THIS man?

NattyEagle · Yesterday 18:18

Jimmyjumpy · Yesterday 18:09

He sounds awful and you and your unborn child are better off without him. The one thing Id say is this child is innocent and you must try not to transfer your dislike of this man onto your baby. It seems it was an intentional thing and you were happy about it until you found out all about him. If I were in your shoes Id keep the pregnancy. Cut him off. Be a good Mum to a child you will love for being themselves.

This is where I am torn @Jimmyjumpy !!! However I want to be clear and say I do not want this pregnancy anymore, I’m just too scared and ashamed for an abortion. Id be happy if I had a miscarriage.

OP posts:
StarPyjamas · Yesterday 18:19

dcadmamagain · Yesterday 18:15

I just wanted to give you a cuddle. You’re between a rock and a hard place. But it’s only you who can make this decision . Whatever decision you make is the right one xx

Whatever decision you make is the right one xx

What does this actually mean?

How do you know it'll be the right one? 😳

NattyEagle · Yesterday 18:19

dcadmamagain · Yesterday 18:15

I just wanted to give you a cuddle. You’re between a rock and a hard place. But it’s only you who can make this decision . Whatever decision you make is the right one xx

This was so simple but so comforting @dcadmamagain telling me any decision is the right one

OP posts:
Iamnotalemming · Yesterday 18:19

I just wanted to send a big unmumsnetty hug. Whatever the future holds it will be better without that man. I can you can move forwards positively.

WallyWinker · Yesterday 18:20

NattyEagle · Yesterday 18:18

This is where I am torn @Jimmyjumpy !!! However I want to be clear and say I do not want this pregnancy anymore, I’m just too scared and ashamed for an abortion. Id be happy if I had a miscarriage.

Can you go to your Mum and Dad? @NattyEagle

lostatsea15 · Yesterday 18:21

It's always going to be your choice, you have asked for opinions.
I'm so sorry how you have been treated, you sound so alone, and lonely.
Possibly your family are keeping away as they can see relationship as it is, and you haven't been able to till now? I hope they rally round you soon.
A baby isn't going to heal or help you, they totally take from you, cause they are babies and deserve it. Those of us who aren't mentally doing well , are not content, needing time to work on ourselves aren't always the best mothers. If baby was to portray behaviours reminding you of a man who has really treated you badly, how would you feel? What if they are 17? Kids deserve their parents, but how will you deal with a 10 year old knowing dad's about but not involved, parenting is a minefield generally but you would be foolish to not be extremely wary. This guy will not stop being dangerous to be about. You sound like your really needing to nurture some good friendships/relationships, a baby on your own is extremely time consuming.
Personally, from a very far distance I would say your fears are valid regarding future chances, but you are pregnant, so your definitely still able to have a baby by a much safer partner/doner.
Your confidence is wrecked, no wonder. Repair for a bit before being a mother. Your future self will really appreciate you taking the pills, just my thoughts

NattyEagle · Yesterday 18:21

AllezAllezPronto · Yesterday 18:16

Oh dear. so sorry.
If his son has ADHD or other neurodiversity, many are genetic and it's quite possible this baby will have them. If it's a boy he is more likely to look like his father. Is that a life you want?

I'd forget about being 35 almost.
Put that to one side. You do not want a child at any price.
And you are not too old to conceive again - you have at least another 5-6 years (I know friends who had 2 children between 36 and 40., their first at 37.)

Anything could happen- you could meet a lovely man in a year.
You could even consider a sperm donor.

Any of those options are better IMO than having a child with a man you now hate and whose DNA might also affect his children's behaviour, health, etc.

The question is - do you want THIS baby at THIS time, with THIS man?

@AllezAllezPronto no I regret getting pregnant, wish I woild miscarry, but am too scared and alone for the abortion. Also scared about future fertility because I really want to be a mum one day

OP posts:
AllezAllezPronto · Yesterday 18:22

NattyEagle · Yesterday 18:18

This is where I am torn @Jimmyjumpy !!! However I want to be clear and say I do not want this pregnancy anymore, I’m just too scared and ashamed for an abortion. Id be happy if I had a miscarriage.

You need not be ashamed. You don't need to be scared.
Have you a friend to hand-hold?

Forget about being 34. That is not the issue.
You have TIME. As I said, I have a friend who met her H at 35, married at 36, first child 37, next at 39.

Felling you may not get another chance is not the answer to having a child in these circumstances.

NattyEagle · Yesterday 18:23

WallyWinker · Yesterday 18:20

Can you go to your Mum and Dad? @NattyEagle

@WallyWinker no. My cousin said hed Come over and never turned up. My mum said she’s come one night and she didn’t want to be around this. Welcome to my unsupportive life. Any wonder I pick men like this?

OP posts:
StarPyjamas · Yesterday 18:24

NattyEagle · Yesterday 18:21

@AllezAllezPronto no I regret getting pregnant, wish I woild miscarry, but am too scared and alone for the abortion. Also scared about future fertility because I really want to be a mum one day

Being a mother is both physically and mentally demanding.

And right now, I agree you don't sound mentally well.

I just don't think it's the best thing for you, let alone the baby.

AllezAllezPronto · Yesterday 18:25

NattyEagle · Yesterday 18:21

@AllezAllezPronto no I regret getting pregnant, wish I woild miscarry, but am too scared and alone for the abortion. Also scared about future fertility because I really want to be a mum one day

I know it's easy to say but your life will be 100% harder if you have this baby.
A daily reminder of what this man did.

You can deal with this.
You're a strong woman. You have taken the pills before . I know how that is as I hand-held (by phone) a friend doing just that.
Wanted a baby but wrong timing.

You'll cope fine, once you have made the decision.

Be strong.

NattyEagle · Yesterday 18:25

AllezAllezPronto · Yesterday 18:22

You need not be ashamed. You don't need to be scared.
Have you a friend to hand-hold?

Forget about being 34. That is not the issue.
You have TIME. As I said, I have a friend who met her H at 35, married at 36, first child 37, next at 39.

Felling you may not get another chance is not the answer to having a child in these circumstances.

@AllezAllezPronto No. Genuinely no. I don’t know if it’s a cultural thing but I’ve learned the hard way these past few days how cold everyone around me is. Peoole will chat on the phone a little but no one wants to be here. It’s horrible.

OP posts:
PrincessDonutTheQueenAnneChonk · Yesterday 18:25

You're not going to be able to switch your feelings off about him overnight no matter what sort of monster he is really. Your feelings and confusion are completely valid things to be feeling.
I'd sit with you if I could. You're making one of the hardest decisions of your life and no matter what you can be proud of the fact that you got yourself away from him.

Buttercup211 · Yesterday 18:26

You say you'll never see him again and he hates you but have you considered that a man so twisted and evil may want to see his child in order to abuse them? You would live a lifetime of fearing wondering if he would come back demanding access.
This isn't your last chance of having a baby. Please think ahead to the future. This would be a lifetime being tied to this evil man. Sending strength x

NattyEagle · Yesterday 18:26

AllezAllezPronto · Yesterday 18:25

I know it's easy to say but your life will be 100% harder if you have this baby.
A daily reminder of what this man did.

You can deal with this.
You're a strong woman. You have taken the pills before . I know how that is as I hand-held (by phone) a friend doing just that.
Wanted a baby but wrong timing.

You'll cope fine, once you have made the decision.

Be strong.

@AllezAllezPronto than you so so so much for this. Wow. You guys have no idea how this is helping me. I had a counselling session this afternoon and this is better.

OP posts:
AllezAllezPronto · Yesterday 18:26

NattyEagle · Yesterday 18:25

@AllezAllezPronto No. Genuinely no. I don’t know if it’s a cultural thing but I’ve learned the hard way these past few days how cold everyone around me is. Peoole will chat on the phone a little but no one wants to be here. It’s horrible.

If you reach out here there may be a MNetter who will reach out to you if they live near. Some forums are great like this- say where you are and I bet you will get offers of help.

Ponderingwindow · Yesterday 18:27

You are placing a lot of faith in the idea that he will not change his habits.

The sperm clinic comes with contracts. No faith required.

alternatively, if you have no support system locally, is your job portable? Could you transfer to a new location and keep your maternity benefits? Geographic distance might help you mentally and make it less likely he decides to get in contact.

Panda69 · Yesterday 18:28

Im so sorry you are in this situation, it must be so hard. But whatever you choose,please don't let him back in your life in any capacity. A man who has done those things won't change. And it's a fact that pregnancy and having children increases the violence. And if you don't keep the baby,still have nothing to do with him,because you will definitely be on the receiving end of his violence at some point. The choice of having the baby or not,can only be decided by you.Im so sorry that you have to make this hard decision, that's not completely black n white for you.But I think I'd rather take the risk of meeting or not meeting someone else and having a baby,than be attached in any way to a man like that. (can always make the decision to have baby by yourself down the line if you dont meet someone) I think if you keep it you will be tempted,or try to have him in your life in someway.

NattyEagle · Yesterday 18:28

PrincessDonutTheQueenAnneChonk · Yesterday 18:25

You're not going to be able to switch your feelings off about him overnight no matter what sort of monster he is really. Your feelings and confusion are completely valid things to be feeling.
I'd sit with you if I could. You're making one of the hardest decisions of your life and no matter what you can be proud of the fact that you got yourself away from him.

@PrincessDonutTheQueenAnneChonk thanks, no one wants to sit with me and hold my hand so that made my tummy flip. I’d have taken the pills days ago with some support. I don’t want “his” baby and I know the only attachment to the pregnancy is more about enjoying the connection to him (I know it’s vile but true) and I’m sort of happy I could get pregnant at all.

OP posts:
Pallisers · Yesterday 18:29

In your situation I would dump him and have an early termination.

There is no way I would tie myself to this fucker for the rest of my life - which is what will happen if you go ahead. Maybe he will disappear into the sunset, maybe he will hang around and make your life miserable but either way you will have a child whose father he is. I would not do it.

GotTheBluePeterBadge · Yesterday 18:29

NattyEagle · Yesterday 17:41

@GotTheBluePeterBadge inwill
never see or speak with him again and he is happy with that. He would never ever ever claim this child! He never loved me. He hates being a dad, he has never fought for his kids and never will.

Ultimately this is your choice. But I think the fact you don't want to take the pills says how you are feeling deep down.

You're not weak and useless, and just because your parents failed doesn't mean you will.

I have every faith that you will do your best if you choose to have this child and that's all any of us can do in life really!

I wish you well, OP.

FilthyforFirth · Yesterday 18:30

One of the most, if not the most important decision we make is the father of our children. Knowingly saddling an innocent child with this man for a father is setting them up for a lifetime of misery being tied to him. I would 100% abort.

AllezAllezPronto · Yesterday 18:30

Do you want to give your location? Just an idea.

Maybe Midlands, south, Yorkshire, the county? I am sure there are women out there who will do a hand-hold .

I've seen it here before.