AIBU to still regret getting a 2:1 instead of a first?

[onedayillmoveon]

It’s been 10 years since I graduated from university and I still can’t shake off the regret that I got a 2:1 and not a first. I know that a 2:1 is perfectly fine for the vast majority of jobs and nothing to be ashamed of, my more and more people have gotten firsts for the past 20 years or so. When I graduated in 2016, about 33% of humanities graduates from my uni got firsts. I just felt so stupid, incapable, inadequate….. I know people say that grades and numbers can’t define us, but I sort of did let it.

I still can’t shake off this horrible regret that I didn’t get one. I got a high first in my second year and was so pleased, I genuinely loved my subject and had applied myself. In my final year (which largely determines degree class where I went), I became quite depressed and stressed. I could never focus and never really adequately prepared for my exams. I just can’t stop wishing that I had pulled myself together in some way.

Some of you, if you read this far, might think, “well if you have a decent job, nobody gives a damn what degree you got”, and yes, fair. Yet there are certain supposedly ‘elite’ jobs where a first is strongly preferred, and I think not getting one ruined my chances of those.

Anyway, if anyone else has ever felt the same way, or knows someone who does, and wants to share ideas or experiences, maybe that will be helpful.

I used to feel like this. But perfectionism isn't healthy and getting top marks is nowhere near comparable to having qualities like resilience in the face of challenges and a willingness to constantly develop and improve yourself.

Be goal-centred. What good does regret do? What benefit does it bring? Your 2:1 is water under the bridge now. It's just a psychological niggle that you didn't get a perfect score, because you identify yourself as someone who should have - but it clearly hasn't held you back from success. Try to see it as the thing that has helped you learn you don't have to be perfect to do well or to have value.

Well in my experience quite a few of the graduates mentioned their scores not just there degree grade on their CV to make this point, that they were exceptional. If they were exceptional we'd have expected them to shine during the application process so it made little difference.

You don’t have the right mindset for a high flying glitzy career though. You tried it (clearly the recruiter thought you were up to it) but quit. People that succeed in those sorts of careers don’t quit, or allow their imposter syndrome to dominate. They’re resilient, they don’t dwell on the past, they know they are very capable, irrespective of degree classification, they’re supremely confident.

They don’t quit at the first hurdle, choose what they assume will be a straightforward career, or blame a degree classification they got 10 years ago.

Be honest - why do you want such a career? What are you trying to prove?

This is 2026 and across all universities
30%
https://www.hesa.ac.uk/news/27-01-2026/uk-he-student-numbers-fall-second-year-in-a-row

Gosh that's sobering. See, DS got 93%, & that's not distinct from the rest of the 40% who got 1sts. Like I said, annoying.

But he's also the coolest, funniest, kindest human I know, so there is that. ❤️

You are amazing OP.
I'm curious as to why you measure your success by your grade? Likely to be related to your upbringing???
I'm not judging but I have worked with people who were disproportionately focused on their 'child's' grades etc where it was competitively discussed.
We all want the best for our children, that isn't measured on educational achievements alone.
You have a brilliant degree OP, embrace and celebrate!

I posted a more up to date one covering all universities not just Durham

30%

Good point.

Not everyone meets their full potential in every situation or at every stage in life. Sometimes for whatever reason we coast in education, or jobs or even fail and mess up. I am an academic now and I was also really upset at my 2:1, which definitely did not meet my potential. However, like you I had reasons why I didn’t fulfill my potential at 21, and later I did in my career and other ways. I also know as an academic (which I have been for over 20 years) grades are not definitive representations of the work you do - I most subjects they are one (or two) people’s estimation of your performance against a set of criteria. Many academics in humanities and social science disciplines where I have worked even forget the existence of criteria and grade on ‘instinct’ unless you pull them up on it. So, for lots of reasons, it’s really pointless to waste your energy on this regret, which shows nothing of your current abilities, life, potential or achievements.

You don’t know my DS!

What a weird prejudice 🤣

I suspect that this rumour was perpetrated by someone who felt threatened by the idea of employing someone who might potentially be more intelligent or high achieving than them, rather than being based on any hard evidence 😂

Yes, but this poster mentioned a Russell Group uni so I used one as an example. Firsts in Maths at Durham were as high as 45.2% in 2022. 38% year before last.

No I recall very few people getting a first and they were always odd - no one felt threatened.

OP I did feel like this for a while, but 14 years later I have stopped caring about it honestly. I was literally one mark away from a first (averaged 69.5 and a single additional mark in my dissertation would have swung it) in my undergrad and I knew that had I not had to work in paid employment so much throughout my degree I could have got a first. Lots of my friends got firsts who didn't need jobs because their parents were paying their rent. I was working 20 hours per week in fast food, and full time every holiday.

That I came so close really stung and I gave myself such a hard time over it. I remember my dad being all "never mind, is it worth appealing though?" Instead of being proud of my 2:1 and that made me feel so much worse. I worked my arse off in my MSc and got a distinction and I still felt sore about my undergrad. But over time it has mattered less and nobody else has ever cared but me. Kindly, do try and forgive yourself if you can. You did the best you could in the circumstances you were in at the time. That is what I have come to realise about myself.

Yeah these people are heavily invested in presenting themselves as high priests of a mystical intelligence cult with a high standard of membership (which they get to control of course).

It is self-aggrandisement really. Salesmanship.

The markers of undergraduate humanities essays have no window into your soul (and I'd bet you anything that they also have a dreadful level of inter-rater reliability too).

Ha! 🤣 We could have fisticuffs!

DS2 & DS3 won't reach these dizzying academic heights, so I'm revelling in it still. However, they're both pretty great in their own way too.

2:2 were called a Desmond and was considered fatal. I got one and was told it was a very high 2:2 as if that was OK. All my friends got a 2:1. I got one and still am upset about it but now over time understand why, no money, isolated and no tutor support, not even to think about asking for a remark but it still rankles although truth is made very little difference once I started working and got my foot in the door. I would have been delighted with a 2:1.

I can't believe how common Firsts are these days. 5% got a First in my under grad degree (1998). How can it now be 40%. Meaningless.

Op, you obviously haven’t got any real problems if you are fixated on the fact that you got a 2:1 ten years ago .

I've done 2 degrees and got a 2:1 in both. With both I burnt out in year 3 and struggle with pressure and depression. First one was the worst. I felt upset about not getting a first for a bit after the first one but by second I learned to accept that I'm not the academic genius I wanted to be!!! That helped me through me second degree actually. If I every do a masters I will be aiming just to pass because I know I struggle (but not due to lack of intelligence or interest in subject). Counseling really helped me.

Being good at exams, knowing “how to play the exam game”, is a real thing, even at degree level.

Of course it is. But it takes a lot more than a degree grade to be competitive.

You’re 30?

Surely life is full! You describe some hobbies and a close family. What about friends? Social life? Holidays? For you to still be twisting yourself in to a pretzel about this @onedayillmoveon indicates that you’re looking for a reason as to why you aren’t happy and fulfilled and you’ve lasered in on… this degree result

If he channels his cool, funny, kind side in interview and that's not just a mum's proud assessment he'll go far. Being a likable person that people want to work with is 50% of the battle.
We know a few exceptional people and they are limited by their lack of charm and tact - they can problem solve, come up with inventive solutions and strategies but they leave a devastating trail of destruction behind them - from their colleagues to the clients (they have cost the company millions by almost reducing the client to tears - they can only be released in small doses, someone almost needs to escort them to do the damage limitations - in general these difficult people, often cause more problems with people than they solve with business they are a liability despite their brilliance.

But it sounds like the only reason you didn't stick at your dream job was because of the intrusive thoughts about the past not that anyone actually cared about your degree.
I have a first but nobody asked me that at the interview and it means jack shit for my employer. I enjoy my job which is why I am doing it.
And you may think it is an indication that the first actually matters but I can tell you that I am also a school drop out and started my degree as a mature student when nobody was any longer interested in my school performance. I could have let it stop me but I didn't. You can't change the past so no point letting it influence your future.