AIBU to still regret getting a 2:1 instead of a first?

[onedayillmoveon]

It’s been 10 years since I graduated from university and I still can’t shake off the regret that I got a 2:1 and not a first. I know that a 2:1 is perfectly fine for the vast majority of jobs and nothing to be ashamed of, my more and more people have gotten firsts for the past 20 years or so. When I graduated in 2016, about 33% of humanities graduates from my uni got firsts. I just felt so stupid, incapable, inadequate….. I know people say that grades and numbers can’t define us, but I sort of did let it.

I still can’t shake off this horrible regret that I didn’t get one. I got a high first in my second year and was so pleased, I genuinely loved my subject and had applied myself. In my final year (which largely determines degree class where I went), I became quite depressed and stressed. I could never focus and never really adequately prepared for my exams. I just can’t stop wishing that I had pulled myself together in some way.

Some of you, if you read this far, might think, “well if you have a decent job, nobody gives a damn what degree you got”, and yes, fair. Yet there are certain supposedly ‘elite’ jobs where a first is strongly preferred, and I think not getting one ruined my chances of those.

Anyway, if anyone else has ever felt the same way, or knows someone who does, and wants to share ideas or experiences, maybe that will be helpful.

“It’s not me who didn’t leave it, people went on and on…”

🤣

Enough!

Healer, heal thyself.

And who are you exactly @Aluna ?

It may have changed, but.in my day candidates with firsts were not preferred as they were too academic. A good 2.1 was considered far more practical.

You have a good degree and you cant put the clock back.

You.must be one of thousands of graduates who messed up in their final year due to the adjustments of becoming adults which they handled badly. Time to forgive yourself and forget the "what ifs" and mové on.

The problem is nowadays nearly ALL graduates lack the essential skills employers value over academics.

Candidates with a first were not preferred is false. I checked employment survey and research from the time

Source?
like what? What essential skills are “nearly ALL” lacking?

I can sympathise as I had exactly the same experience, except it was much longer ago. I graduated from university (not Oxbridge but a Russell Group uni) at the end of the 1970s, when very few 1sts were awarded. Having done unexpectedly well in my Part 1s (to everyone's surprise, not least me - apparently I had an unusually good exam technique), I was then told that I was slated for a 1st if I continued along the same lines. All through my final year, I obsessed about it but also allowed myself to become fatally distracted by the torrid romantic affair of one of my housemates. In the 12 weeks before my Finals, I still had 12 essays to do, which wasn't ideal preparation. I was bitterly disappointed when the results came out and I'd 'only' got a 2:1, which in those days was considered very good so it was hard to respond to others' congratulations as they all expected me to be delighted - as indeed I would have been if I'd never been led to believe that a higher grade was in reach. Like you, I brooded about it for years (I've got over it now...). But I can't say that it ever held me back professionally (I accept that things are different now and that there are some jobs which do require top grades) - I've had a happy and fulfilling career, never earning very much and punctuated by motherhood, and am still enjoying self-employment in my 70th year. You have proved by getting Distinction in your Masters that expectations of your performance in your first degree were not inflated, and it was only unforeseen circumstances which prevented you from achieving it, so you have no reason to feel that you've let yourself down. Bear in mind too that those of your tutors/lecturers who expressed disappointment were perhaps thinking more of their own reputation and not about your feelings.

I reckon the OP’s lecturers said that to her because they were fed up to the back teeth of her questioning every marked essay they returned to her and asking for a remark

In the end they just told it to her straight

@onedayillmoveon

Kindly, OP, let it go.

Congrats. You’re a flawed, imperfect human, like the rest of us.

Carrying this weight may well hold you back in the future and that would be a real shame.

Focus on what you do have and moving forwards.

chrome-extension://efaidnbmnnnibpcajpcglclefindmkaj/https://www.managers.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/employability-skills-research_work-ready-graduates.pdf

Not sure if the above link will work otherwise you can google: "WORK READY GRADUATES: Building employability skills for a hybrid world."

If you are interested...

It does suggest that most employers do not believe grads arrive with the necessary soft skills. Only 22% of employers think that graduates are equipped with the key employability skills

Maybe it's time for the Gov, school; and parents to stop focusing so much on exam results and start recognising that the school/university education system is not preparing our kids for working and communicating with other people, aside from the person who marks their essays.

There are people who are naturally very good at communicating and working as part of a team - but there are many others who despite their brilliant minds really struggle with it and struggle to achieve their potential, which isn't great on a personal or a national level - we need to help those who don't have innate soft skills to give them a good chance of getting a great job - we need to aim to provide everyone with the best chance to do well in life.

So no where does it state or even imply that “nearly ALL” grads don’t have “essential skills”

"Nearly 80% of employers believe that current graduates do not arrive fully equipped with the skills they need to be work-ready."

You can read into that whatever way you want - I'm not interested in arguing with you.

I will say if you have a young person that you want to support and provide guidance to in the hope that they will secure a great job, I'd pay attention to the skills employers want as well as the academics - because it's not something the Gov expect schools to focus on and it's not something they all pick up on easily.
And it's always better to start young.

Nearly always well rounded?

No, financed by government loans and scholarships. I’ve already said this above. Why would you assume my parents paid? They’re working class.

Not true. Why do you assume this? What do you do for a living?

Well, David Cameron and Rishi Sunak both got Oxford firsts. She's probably thinking of them.

On the other hand, Boris Johnson was allegedly raging he DIDN'T get a first so you are in illustrious company.

@onedayillmoveon just get over it.

So a university?

Not sure I was “fully equipped” at 20 years old when I landed my first job! Is that such a surprise that 20 year olds aren’t “fully equipped”?

No.

HE lecturer / apprentice coach

and you are seriously saying that this employer requires all its employees to have a first?

@Ucannotbeserious You should be proud of your career. If you don’t mind me asking, when did you apply for pupillage? I was told that things have changed wrt grades over the past 20 years. This isn’t to discredit what you’ve just said by the way, that’s just what I was told by some junior barristers at one of those outreach events at an Inn.

I felt discouraged from applying for pupillage when I saw that all of the juniors of the past 5 years had either an Oxbridge first or a first from elsewhere plus a BCL, so I just thought I’d not even be considered.

For the near future, I need to stay in teaching as that’s my job and I can’t just leave it without a secure plan B. Maybe in the more distant future I’ll think about the Bar, but for now it’s just in the back of my mind.

Thank you for your advice, and to @Wingwalk too.