AIBU to still regret getting a 2:1 instead of a first?

[onedayillmoveon]

It’s been 10 years since I graduated from university and I still can’t shake off the regret that I got a 2:1 and not a first. I know that a 2:1 is perfectly fine for the vast majority of jobs and nothing to be ashamed of, my more and more people have gotten firsts for the past 20 years or so. When I graduated in 2016, about 33% of humanities graduates from my uni got firsts. I just felt so stupid, incapable, inadequate….. I know people say that grades and numbers can’t define us, but I sort of did let it.

I still can’t shake off this horrible regret that I didn’t get one. I got a high first in my second year and was so pleased, I genuinely loved my subject and had applied myself. In my final year (which largely determines degree class where I went), I became quite depressed and stressed. I could never focus and never really adequately prepared for my exams. I just can’t stop wishing that I had pulled myself together in some way.

Some of you, if you read this far, might think, “well if you have a decent job, nobody gives a damn what degree you got”, and yes, fair. Yet there are certain supposedly ‘elite’ jobs where a first is strongly preferred, and I think not getting one ruined my chances of those.

Anyway, if anyone else has ever felt the same way, or knows someone who does, and wants to share ideas or experiences, maybe that will be helpful.

Do you actually know your students personally rather than just marking their written work? My son never met a single one of his lecturers in person - he was just a face in the lecture theatre to them, they wouldn’t have been able to put a face to his written work. He didn’t even meet his so called personal tutor - that was just an email once a year! All the personal small group stuff was with phd students and departmental support staff.

Like wingwalk above I am also a barrister in ‘one of those sets’. I went to what was then a poly. Didn’t perform spectacularly even there. Got pupillage in a lesser set and made my way up. I am proud to have defied early lack of progress. Have also been involved in recruiting in pupillage and tenancy teams and specifically in recruiting not just those Oxbridge and ‘first’ pool of applicants. The Bar is far more about character, personality and performance. It’s essentially a show. You should have gone for it. You still can. Plenty come to the Bar as a second career. Indeed they can be prized as more experienced in the world. I find it difficult to imagine that a chambers would have discarded a Cambridge 2:1 followed by a Masters first out of hand. The Bar requires nerves of steel but is populated by those constantly worried about their performance. If we didn’t worry we would be no good. If you want it …. do it!

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A large educatuon provider.

How ironic.

🥹

Right, there are some people who get firsts because they are phenomenally clever; but there are some, like me, who aren’t that clever they just worked hard.

I made no comment whatsoever about anyone else or their level of application. It was simply a comment on my own ability and the general ability level required.

The point for the OP is that 1st vs 2.1 doesn't necessarily reflect intelligence or career aptitude.

If someone gets a 2.2 in today's higher education I wouldn't view that highly. But come on OP you're a Cambridge graduate feel pride in that

The point for the OP is that 1st vs 2.1 doesn't necessarily reflect [...] career aptitude

On this we are agreed, especially if the person with a 1st lacks the emotional intelligence to understand the ramifications of their claims.

I don't think there's such a thing as perfect. But it sounds like you do, and it starts with getting a First and walking into an elite First-class only graduate scheme for a prestigious professional job. Other posters have given you really good advice on why that's not true and you need to forgive yourself and let go.

FWIW, I once interned at a very elite firm, whose new recruits all had top, top grades. Their rising star was someone who'd actually made a bit of mess of his degree, swallowed his pride, taken work at a smaller, less prestigious firm, worked extremely hard and then applied for a junior vacancy rather than new graduate entry. He was very, very good at his work, totally on it and everyone talked about him as though he was going places. (He did.) I don't think grades are any more than a leg up. If you're passionate, you'll make it work - and if you're not passionate, why punish yourself for not making it in something you like but don't love?

Or reads into the text something that simply isn’t there and doesn’t take any responsibility for it. 😉

And an “education provider” requires all staff to have firsts?? Curious

Not alone. A number of us did. In fact….

I got a 2:1 and thought I'd done really well ! Seems like a weird thing to obsess over. Granted, I dont use my degree in my job. Is it a certain job you want to go for that needs a first?

Self-belief can be an attractive quality for an employer, but there's a fine line between that and arrogance.

The number of students getting first class degrees is nowhere near 33% at any institution.

I’d agree and it’s arrogant not to accept that you read into a text something that simply wasn’t there.

You’re in contact are you? Well now you know.

But we are many.

We're all here in the same thread with you in a public forum.

@Aluna have you always been self employed? Any employees?

I can read the thread 😕

I can see two. Spoiling for a fight.

I have never said: you're probably not just applying yourself enough or anything like it.

You can admit that or not. Either way I’ve had enough.

People can just click on “Show quote history” and see for themselves. Bye.

Sure, it’s easy to see I have never said anything of the sort. See ya.