AIBU to still regret getting a 2:1 instead of a first?

[onedayillmoveon]

It’s been 10 years since I graduated from university and I still can’t shake off the regret that I got a 2:1 and not a first. I know that a 2:1 is perfectly fine for the vast majority of jobs and nothing to be ashamed of, my more and more people have gotten firsts for the past 20 years or so. When I graduated in 2016, about 33% of humanities graduates from my uni got firsts. I just felt so stupid, incapable, inadequate….. I know people say that grades and numbers can’t define us, but I sort of did let it.

I still can’t shake off this horrible regret that I didn’t get one. I got a high first in my second year and was so pleased, I genuinely loved my subject and had applied myself. In my final year (which largely determines degree class where I went), I became quite depressed and stressed. I could never focus and never really adequately prepared for my exams. I just can’t stop wishing that I had pulled myself together in some way.

Some of you, if you read this far, might think, “well if you have a decent job, nobody gives a damn what degree you got”, and yes, fair. Yet there are certain supposedly ‘elite’ jobs where a first is strongly preferred, and I think not getting one ruined my chances of those.

Anyway, if anyone else has ever felt the same way, or knows someone who does, and wants to share ideas or experiences, maybe that will be helpful.

I’m a lawyer in an elite law firm and I got an 2:1. Graduated 15 years ago. The vast majority of my colleagues got 2:1s or I don’t even know what they got because we don’t discuss our uni grades. It’s fine.

YABU. You say you did a Humanities subject. If it was history you know you cant rewrite the past. Why dont you look into another skill to learn that you can endeavour to excel in.

Ok, well maybe they’re just proud of their dissertations then, or they haven’t updated their LinkedIn in a while!

Yes… a year working in retail between my Masters and GDL, and then a year in a small local business after the GDL, and now teaching.

What was the master's in? Did you enjoy it?

I work in the same field OP. And “shock horror” I got a 2:2 from a Russell Group uni. My tutor at uni said i should give up dreams of practising in this profession as I’ll never get an offer for TC. Sod that. Sat at home morning til night for 3 months doing applications working through chambers and partners cover to cover - out of which my only offer was a mere 2 weeks work experience (because I didn’t have a 2:1)….but from that I then got a training offer….and from that I qualified into a very niche sector I would never have chosen myself and ended up earning more than my peers with firsts (and actually being at a more elite firm). What I’m saying is it doesn’t define you, yes you have to work MUCH harder initially to secure a job and fewer opportunities, but when you’re on the track nobody asks again (they would be shocked if they knew as for most of my “elite firm” working life I was surrounded by oxbridge grads who had 2:1 minimum but we never discussed it so they assumed I was the same). I’ve now given up the “glitz” (aka long hours, stress and not seeing my kids) but I work super part time so I can be with the sprogs - again this is pretty unheard of in my field but again possible due to my career “choices” (chances??) so far.
I would have given my right arm for a 2:1 20 years ago….be happy and think about what you really want to do. Then make it happen. Good luck OP!

Oh Op I recognise you now. You have posted loads and loads on Mumsnet.

There is a lot going on here and ultimately - you are not happy. Not happy with where you are in life, not happy with the past and not happy with the present and not happy personally.

I think that your focus needs to be on focus ming on being the best teacher you can be AND getting some friends and some FUN in your life!

I suspect you are neurodivergent with strong rejection sensitivity dysphoria. You were so worried about being rejected that you didn’t put yourself out there and apply for extremely competitive jobs and now you are ruminating, blaming the least likely element of why you would be rejected.

It’s hard, I feel for you but your degree result isn’t the reason that your life has turned out differently, it’s the fear of rejection and that is something that you can get support with.

I think you're being pretty tough on yourself, you had serious mitigating circumstances. I on the other hand was just lazy. I cake-walked my 2:1 and had I applied myself properly I may well have gotten a first (who knows) but I was much more interested in the party lifestyle of a student, and men.

I can say I've rarely applied myself to anything, I don't even deserve the 2:1 to be frank and I wish I could have a word with my younger self and tell her to do better. I've never had a decent career, always told myself I wasn't a 'career girl' when actually I was just scared to push myself forward and advocate for myself.
I've floated from job to job, changed industry multiple times, I feel like a chameleon who has achieved not a lot.

If you graduated ten years ago you must still be relatively young (assuming you weren't a mature student) so you still have time to get a career going - if you want. Your 2:1 is only a part of the puzzle, your personality and work ethic are worth taking thinking about too.

Don't be me, looking back 30+ years later and shaking her head sadly.

Come on a 2:1 from Cambridge they are so many. Who wish they were you

This can’t be real? You seriously held back your career based on insecurity around your degree grade? What would actually be different in your career if you got a first? I graduated earlier than you but in my day 2.1 was generally the bar for traineeships etc, having a first wouldn’t have made a bit of difference to my life. I do a lot of recruitment and most candidates don’t put grades on their degrees, and I don’t need them. I seriously haven’t given it a thought since the day I graduated!

OP your degree is not this issue here, there is absolutely no way you are confident or resilient enough for those environments. I’m sorry but that’s the hard truth, you need to work on yourself mentally, not a first.

I feel like these days more and more degrees are firsts to the point that a first is the new 2:1? If that makes sense. I was thrilled with my 2:1 at the time but now my a levels and this degree pale in comparison to younger colleagues. I’m 50 for context. I think this age if anywhere similar to me, you look back at a lot of things including academia. I wish I’d trained as a nurse looking back but I didn’t and I have to look where I am now and be grateful. But I do still look back and wonder

My friends and I were discussing this last year.

Not one of us has ever been asked for proof of degree which is mad considering our loan balances are higher than when we graduated (some of us having paid £20k off a loan that has only increased).

I loved Uni but my degree class has had zero bearing on my life and career.

Sorry to sound blunt but I've never met anyone who could give a monkeys!

This isn’t nonsense because the poster is talking about 30 years ago - a very different time with very different grading. Firsts were very rare, one lecturer told me that to get a first you had to know more than your lecturer - you had to stand out enormously. The people who got firsts were not people who spent time with other students they focused heavily on their studies. Most employers need grads who have developed excellent people skills. I’m surprised you haven’t noticed the change in who gets firsts over the last 30 years.

Exactly; the only time I needed proof was for my graduate traineeship (which was also at a university so you can imagine they put checks in to validate themselves ha!) my degree has not seen the light of day since (and I have a successful, high paying career), I could have written first on every job application I’ve had and no one would be the wiser, I don’t because I don’t care or need to and I haven’t needed a degree since the traineeship.

In my experience, a degree is just a platform to break into a career, as soon as I got my first job the only thing any employer has cared about since is my work experience.

I got a 2:2 and it bugged me for years. In my late 40s I did an MBA paid for by work and got a distinction. That sorted it for me.

It wasn't about what anyone else thought or about me career, it wouldn't have made any difference, it was about my personal pride and satisfaction. I get why you are still annoyed by it.

But it didn't hold you back and it has held the op back - that feeling that she is not good enough prevented her from succeeding the 2:1 was not the cause - to the OP it was the evidence she used to tell herself she couldn't succeed. She did a Masters and got a distinction but it still wasn't enough.

That’s not a problem with her degree though, it’s her perception. It’s mental she’s letting it have that much power over her.

Completely agree.

I did wonder what was even the point of doing the masters and earning a distinction when @onedayillmoveon was so determined that her initial 2:1 had ruined all her career ambitions.

People on this thread of all ages and stages have assured her that degree classification definitely does not and has not closed the door to them in a whole range of careers, including the ones she most wanted to enter into. But it’s like water off a duck’s backs.

She has also studiously ignored the suggestions that if the lack of a first is SO psychologically insurmountable to her … go and do another undergrad degree part-time.

It is as if she is comfortable feeling stuck and stagnating. It’s safer than having to put herself out there.

Unless you were a graduate in 1986 you’re not really in a position to suspect anything. I can assure you it was the case then. I never felt threatened, I got the best degree possible at the time without being a genius.

I graduated in 2000 and that idea was still circulating then about people with firsts.

This is a bit of a myth. I accept there were fewer firsts and indeed fewer uni students back in the day. But 8 friends and family got Oxbridge firsts as well as myself - most leaving 1992ish, 2 were relations about 5 years older. That’s not factoring in people who got firsts on my course or in my college as I don’t remember.

You don’t need to be clever you just need to be organised about work. I wouldn’t say these people were the cleverest of my acquaintance bar one who got a first in medicine which is really hard, the others were just grafters. I’m average at best.

I see it with my own eyes!!! In my day (late 90s graduates) literally 2 people I know got firsts they were and are exceptional people in every way. It was a serious achievement.

Now seriously I kid you not every recent graduate I hear of in my network has a first!! And these are not academic kids I have known them and their parents for years. So I googled it and the 40% now 7% getting firsts in the 90s was the answer. Which totally tallies with my lived experience.