AIBU to give our child the biggest bedroom and a double bed?

[SpicyMargFTW]

Walking home from school and got talking to someone I sort of know just from both living in the same place. We moved house recently (only a few streets over), which this person knew (it's a small community!) - relevant because of the direction the conversation took.

Anyway, we were talking about school and sleep (we have similarly aged children at the same school), and I mentioned that we'd been up in the night with our little one, but my husband fell asleep with them in their bed. They questioned how my husband and little one could comfortably sleep in a single bed together and I explained our little one has a double bed so it's fine. They then commented why have a double bed for a child and something about children needing room in their bedroom for toys / to play. I explained that the bed and mattress were hand-me-downs (they were like new) and our little one has the biggest room in the house so there's plenty of space for everything.

They were weirdly disapproving and sort of rhetorically questioned, again, why a child has the biggest room in the house and a double bed. It was very odd. I did try to (carefully) explain that we have plenty of space so it makes sense to us, and we didn't do this when we were in the small house.

I mean, first, why would anyone else care about the bedroom and sleeping arrangements of someone else, in their own home? I find that so strange.

To us, it makes sense to put our little one in the biggest room - they have the most stuff and it means we can keep everywhere else organised and tidy! And the double bed was not only a freebie, which there is plenty of room for, but it is also so, so useful for bedtime stories, being they're when they're upset / poorly, or we just want to encourage a lie-in etc! I love that they have a double bed in their room!

It's not like we've always been in this situation. We used to live in a small house with just two ok-sized bedrooms and a box room, and it was a squeeze - we did a good job of keeping toys tidied away but it was getting more and more difficult. Our new house is quite large (we have five big double bedrooms) so we can easily have the set-up we've got and I feel it works best for all of us. It's not as though we've spoiled our child with the biggest room and squeezed ourselves into a box but this person acted as if we'd committed some cardinal sin!

Anyway, given their reaction, I want to ask AIBU to give our young child the biggest bedroom and a double bed?

God knows what she’d have made of the setup in our last house, OP. Our DD had the biggest bedroom and a king sized bed at one point!
DH and I had what was very definitely the master bedroom — with an en suite — but it was still smaller than her room. Her room had been the guest room previously, hence the king sized bed (which we had because my parents were downsizing and got rid of it), but we decided it was silly leaving a big room empty for most of the time.

I have to say, if there is room, a double bed for a small child is soooo useful. This happened by default with our youngest because our spare room with double became her first bedroom with cot. She was a shocking sleeper and sometimes I'd just give up trying to soothe her in the cot and get into the double with her. We both got some sleep, win win!

Agree also useful to have a bigger bedroom if you prefer to have most of the toys in there rather than taking over the living room!

Our son has a double - he’s likely going to be tall and is a wriggly sleeper. He also the biggest room and an en-suite, it’s the loft conversion. We have the biggest conventional bedroom on the first floor and an office each so we’re all happy with the space. If it works for you and you are all happy crack on, I can’t even understand why they think it’s something they need to comment on

What is insincere about a fact?

We have tonnes of second hand furniture! We can't afford to buy it all new 🤣 And we'll take any freebies that are going from family / friends!

Exactly this.

We have just the one at the moment but would like another. If we're fortunate enough for #2 to come along, they'd have the next biggest room. The rooms aren't all square / rectangular, some have fitted furniture, some have two windows etc - they all have their own quirks - so I don't think the children would really notice the difference in size and, if they did, they'd be shamed and reprimanded for their ungrateful behaviour!!!!!!! 🤣🤣🤣

That's really exciting for your daughter ☺️ I lived with my parents well into my 20s and only ever had a single bed! Never thought much of it.

I just can't believe that anyone would have such strong opinions about what someone else does in their own home! Crazy lady!

Wow. That escalated quickly. Please do read my response(s) where I've set out the conversation with this (to my mind) crazy woman. There was barely any detail from me, absolutely zero bragging, and it was all responsive.

I've had questions from people, on here, which I've then responded to. As for your comments - loads of people have pianos, that's hardly unusual. Everyone should have books (go us). My husband and I both work from home a lot so we have a study. I mean, these aren't really things to brag about (not that I believe in boasting - who actually gives a fuck?) - a lot of our friends are in the same situation as us.

The conversation was about bedroom size and someone asked me about the amount of stuff my husband and I have so I explained we don't have everything in our bedroom - we use the spare bedrooms for our hobbies (and to house the things for our hobbies). It's relevant, responsive and factual. It's not bragging.

I think that would have pushed her (and seemingly a couple of others on here) over the edge!

Some people have commented about potential lack of gratitude in future - and I get that concern - but I reckon if we just don't make anything of bedroom size, our child won't ever think anything of it, either.

Exactly this! I hadn't actually fully appreciated the benefit of a double bed for a child until we were given one. I'd have just bought a single, without really giving it any thought, because that's what I had when I lived with my parents. But omg I love that we have one for our child, now!

We did this with DD, made the switch during lockdown when she was 2, it worked really well and she is still in there. The Master bedroom was off the living room, so switching it to DD made the flow of toys easier, and meant no living room toy storage was required. It meant she went from bed sharing in with me to me bedsharing in with her.

The reality is a kids room is their bedroom, dressing room, play room, study, social space, pet hamster room etc over the years, where as for a grown up, their bedroom is just a bedroom and a dressing room and that's it. So long as you can fit a good size bed in the next biggest room i think it's a great idea.

Exactly this!

We have the rest of the house for our crap and it's our space. Children have only their bedrooms as their own space.

For us, it just makes the whole experience of living together better. And will give our little one good space as they grow, without us having to move bedrooms / furniture around.

I hadn't thought anything of it until this crazy woman seemed to get angry with how we live our life behind closed doors.

All three of my children (12, 11 and 7) have a double bed, and have since they first went into beds. I couldn’t care less what anyone else thinks!

because kids have toys? 🤣

Yes, and also adults have a whole house to keep their stuff in, not just their bedrooms. My books are in the study, for example. All I keep in my bedroom are my clothes and my hair/make up products. My kids on the other hand have all their toys, all the things they collect, all the things they make, their books, their masses of stationery…

Totally logical, I'd do same to contain most of their toys and tat. The level of explaining you're doing in your OP suggests you care wayyyy to much though. Why tell us the bed isn't new?! What would be wrong with a child having a big, comfortable new bed?

A little different in my home but my two youngest have the biggest room in our house. My son has the smaller room and I've got the medium sized one having a double bed and being a single person I don't really need a massive room for one person whilst the two girls share a smaller room. Whatever works for your family it's none of that persons business how you allocate the rooms in your home tell the nosey cow to piss off

You do not have to justify your choices to anyone. Sounds like a great idea.

Do whatever suits you and ignore naysayers. However we have always had the biggest room because there is two of us sharing it, and I suppose on principle too, as we are the adults, and the ones paying for it.

Your house, your family, your rules! My son basically has two rooms. He uses the box room as a play/sensory room and then sleeps in a king sized bed in another room. He's an only child and works really well for us.

Jealousy!

Wouldn't worry about it OP.
Our child went from co sleeping with us to a kingsize bed of their own. It is really handy.

Some people are fortunate to have the space. Some people are less so. As long as you don't brag or speak insensitively it isn't a big deal or a shock to adults that different people have different things.

Many school-aged children have toys and books in their room as well as the usual bed, wardrobes etc, most adults just sleep and get dressed in their bedroom so don't need floor space for playing games

I bought my kid double bed and was accused by another mother, rather inarticulately, of "sending her for a prostitute" - absolutely barking. I think the woman in question was cross that my house was bigger than hers.

We had twins who shared a double bed and then moved into their own double beds. First single bed for 6ft son was at halls at uni! Twin two has never had a single bed. Whatever works for you.

I think it's a bit sad when people say adults can keep their possessions in different rooms but children must keep their belongings in their bedroom. So the rest of the house is clutter free (child free).
My children keep their books on bookshelves in the sitting room like I do (Sorry, no study in this house), they have some toys downstairs and some up, craft stuff downstairs as they prefer to be around us when making crafts etc, and games are all downstairs so they can be played by everyone together. When they were very small they rarely played upstaurs alone. Musical instruments in sitting room or under the stairs, wherever there's space. Electronics in a box in sitting room, not allowed upstairs. I suppose the people on this thread would be appalled at my house with all that stuff downstairs, but that's the point if the thread ... what everyone does in their own house is their own business.

Oh no I wouldn’t be appalled at all, I couldn’t care less what someone else’s house looks like.
Also you don’t have to apologise for not having a study, I don’t think anyone is offended by it.