DD’s dad has taken her overseas and won’t bring her back

[CherryMummy1]

Me and my DD’s (6 years old) dad have been separated for 4 years. He had DD last weekend and has taken her overseas (he had her passport) and has moved overseas (America) with her and won’t bring her back! I had no idea that he was planning to do this! He has obviously been planning it for a while as he would have had to get Visa’s and plan his move to America and so on. He texted me on Saturday morning while he had DD saying that he was at the airport and that he was moving to America for work and that he was taking DD with him and wouldn’t bring her back! He hasn’t answered any of my calls or messages since. I’m going insane worrying about my DD. I’ve been absolutely in bits since, I’m an absolute wreck and can’t stop crying and worrying about my DD and just want her home with me! I’m DD’s primary parent so can’t imagine how scared and upset she must be feeling without me! The police here in the UK won’t do anything as they are saying her dad also has parental responsibility like me so there’s nothing they can do. Social services are refusing to get involved as well. AIBU to think that the police and authorities should be doing more to get my DD home? I’m absolutely in bits and can’t stop crying over it all! I’m furious and livid with her dad too, I’m absolutely raging at him with anger for doing this

OP I am sorry this happened yo you. Please look after yourself. Do uou have family support, can parents stay with you to help with everyday things, coom uou something to make sure you are well.
I think what this man done us atrocious and not done out of love; however you need to think carefully a d rake the excellent advice of dontgochansingwaterfalls

I wish you and your daughter well.

It's incredibly distressing and awful. But police and social services have no jurisdiction and I'm not sure what the MP could do before you have even instructed a solicitor? This is a case of international abduction and must be pursued through the courts.

Agree with the sensible posts above - but know youve got a small army of women here in your corner, op xx

I took my kids in the summer and didn’t need a letter. They even have different surnames.

That’s what I was going to say. And he could apply for US citizenship for her which would make it difficult to get her back.

This must be awful… a quick google search has brought up this from the us department of State, could you try these numbers?

So what's his plan? You're never going to talk to your daughter again? Hardly.

Sorry about the typos above, I am very tired but wanted to offer support.

I agree with this.

Contact your MP, get all the support you can get, so that hopefully something can get done as soon as possible.

If you know his employment details, then you may be able to locate, where exactly he has taken your DD.
You have some good advice, try and follow up what you can.

Unfortunately, it will appear like its taking time but I hope you are re-united with your daughter very soon.
Best wishes.

I don’t have any practical advice but I am so so sorry I really feel for you right now. I am shocked the police won’t do anything. What was the custody arrangement before, court ordered or did you both decide? See a solicitor asap I’m sure they’ll be able to initiate proceedings. It’s positive you know the name of his employer

This must be frightening but the only positive is right now you have an idea of where he is and where it works.

No more ringing employer.
No taking a flight and turning up.
No media smear campaign.

The last thing you want to do is put pressure on or he'll move.

Go through proper channels with the best family lawyer you can afford.

You've had some really good advice above.

I'm so sorry for both you and your daughter - I really hope this turns out well for you as soon as possible. That man is no father - he's a piece of shit.

@CherryMummy1, just to add that there is a list here of solicitors experienced in international child abduction.

www.gov.uk/guidance/child-abduction-accredited-solicitors-referral-list

Sharing this again OP to try and draw your attention to it through the dramatic social media army.

Contact Tony McGovern tomorrow - from direct experience I highly recommend him and his team.

https://creighton.co.uk/family-law/child-care-law/child-abduction/

Chanel it all into action. If you send him a bunch of messages who ever looks at it will get lost on the reeds. I’m at the stage the police have asked for screenshots of the conversation over the trips and they honestly only bother looking at a small chunk of what’s said. No one bothers to actually go through and look at it all. I’ve experienced this a few times now with the police and lawyers.

You need to screenshot and create files ready to send as evidence. Use your anger to put that into action. Any msg you send you ex has to be on the basis of clear and factual not emotional. It’s not right but you have to play the game now.

I’m so sorry, my heart goes out to you. Waterfalls has given superb advice and set out all the immediate tasks in the right order. It must be an utter nightmare for you, I hope you have supportive friends and family/community around you.

Hold your nerve and gather your evidence — he has abducted your child and there is a legal process to recover her.

Definitely go over there and get her!!

Insane one parent can apply for a visa without the other parent’s permission. I’m so sorry to hear this, what a selfish man!

As @InterIgnis says, she's automatically a dual citizen so he's probably applied for an American passport for her, and they'll have travelled on those passports. My understanding though is that unless he has sole custody of her (which he doesn't), he still needed to obtain your consent before bringing her to the US.

I believe that your solicitor will tell you that he's broken the law and this is child abduction. Best of luck for tomorrow's meeting.

My daughter is a dual citizen and is habitual resident here. Even if he got her dual citizenship behind your back, it doesn't suddenly give the USA courts jurisdiction over custody issues, she will have to be returned to your home town, to sort anything out. Please try not to worry, there's a wealth of information been shared on this thread so far. Take it one step at a time. I'd also contact the NYPD just to have it logged and they might be able to do something whilst you're sorting out the hague courts- they're much less tolerant of bullshit over there than the police here are.

The US is governed by the Hague Convention. Contact the British police and ICACU.

Do not do any of the nuttier suggestions on here, as they will play into his hand. You don't want him to be able to pretend he fled the country to safeguard his vulnerable child from her insane mother. You need a decent lawyer.

Please follow the rational advice from DontGoChasinWaterfalls
You do not want to look like a crazy woman
You do not want to be plastered over media unless a solicitor advises you to do that
You do not want to be sued by him

What is his story?
You need to find out and go thru the right channels.

He is a prized c u * t.

Contact his company also? It’s criminal

@CherryMummy1 This is a Hague Convention child abduction case. You need to act immediately.

1. Contact ICACU now – they handle international child abduction:

+44 20 3681 2608 [email protected]

1. Call Reunite International Child Abduction Centre – they specialise in this exact situation and will talk you through everything: 0116 2555 345 (24‑hour line)
2. Get an urgent Prohibited Steps Order and Child Arrangements Order via an emergency family court hearing. Once granted, the police can act.
3. Contact a solicitor specialising in international family law (not a general solicitor).
4. Gather evidence: his text saying he won’t bring her back, proof you’re the primary parent, school/GP records, etc.
5. The UK and USA are both Hague Convention countries. These cases are taken very seriously and there is a formal process to get your daughter returned. Act fast - today.