DD’s dad has taken her overseas and won’t bring her back

[CherryMummy1]

Me and my DD’s (6 years old) dad have been separated for 4 years. He had DD last weekend and has taken her overseas (he had her passport) and has moved overseas (America) with her and won’t bring her back! I had no idea that he was planning to do this! He has obviously been planning it for a while as he would have had to get Visa’s and plan his move to America and so on. He texted me on Saturday morning while he had DD saying that he was at the airport and that he was moving to America for work and that he was taking DD with him and wouldn’t bring her back! He hasn’t answered any of my calls or messages since. I’m going insane worrying about my DD. I’ve been absolutely in bits since, I’m an absolute wreck and can’t stop crying and worrying about my DD and just want her home with me! I’m DD’s primary parent so can’t imagine how scared and upset she must be feeling without me! The police here in the UK won’t do anything as they are saying her dad also has parental responsibility like me so there’s nothing they can do. Social services are refusing to get involved as well. AIBU to think that the police and authorities should be doing more to get my DD home? I’m absolutely in bits and can’t stop crying over it all! I’m furious and livid with her dad too, I’m absolutely raging at him with anger for doing this

Is there a possibility that he hasn’t actually gone to America and is winding op up? Has his address been checked that he has actually left?

@cordelia16 You don't actually - we find it easier to go to the solicitor - we've made it a nice little parent/child visit to London every few years, usually when one child has an INSET day.

As a minor US citizen, she doesn’t need a passport, visa or ESTA to enter the U.S from Canada. He could very easily have flown her to Canada on her British passport, and crossed the border into New York with her CRBA. It’s an obvious route, and would have been easy for him to do. The likelihood that he would have been stopped and questioned is small. It’s entirely plausible that she is indeed in the US.

Sans a court order which OP would have been aware of, a passport requires the signature of both parents. A CRBA only needs one.

This is all information that can be verified on the Department of State, and Customs and Border Protection websites.

https://fam.state.gov/FAM/08FAM/08FAM050601.html

www.help.cbp.gov/s/article/Article-1300?language=en_US

All OP can do is get a solicitor that is experienced in international child abduction cases, and go from there.

@ElinoristhenewEnid Yes, the first step is to confirm that they've actually left the UK and entered the US, this could all be smoke and mirrors.

It happened to me, my child. Same, same, but slightly different. Read childlawadvice.org.uk. Find a solicitor to initiate emergency wardship proceedings, a tool to force his hand and return her while this is resolved

After 28 days it's a crime, international child abduction.

I know for a fact you can take legal action in these circumstances.

Don't rise to it, he'll be taunting you like the POS he is.

Stay calm and focused on getting her back through legal channels.

One of my DCs will be a few months short of 18 when their passport expires, and because of the age of my parents and a need to be able to travel at the drop of a hat, I may renew at 17y 8mo. Does this mean that at 22y 8mo I will seriously have to accompany a nearly 23yo to the embassy to renew their passport?!?!

OP I'm sorry I don't have much practical to offer but I recently found out you can have more than one British passport.

It might be useful if you don't currently have her passport.

I wish you all the best with this, your ex is can't, but you know that.

@YankTank I'm in the US and my DD has her first adult passport. We didn't need to be involved in her getting it. For some reason, it isn't technically a renewal, it's a new adult passport application.

The interviewer said that it was wise to include her child passport in the application package though as the State Department was likely to ask for it as "additional documentation" if she didn't.

It might be different if you're applying from abroad though.

The good news is no! Bec for any renewal after age 16, they're given 10-year passports. You'll have to go with them when they're 17y 8mo because their previous passport (the one they're renewing) had been a 5-year passport.

Sorry - don't know which part you're replying to from my post.

Don't actually have to do what? Appear at the embassy?

How did it go? @CherryMummy1

You don't have to appear at the embassy but if you don't the other parent needs your notarized permission and copies of your passport.
As I said we do this with one parent/one child from 5-6y and upwards. Latest was 2024.

This is what I was wondering.

How did this go?

There are a million more hoops to jump through when applying at an embassy, rather than in the States. One of my friends applies when she goes home for this reason (she goes for long periods).

Did I misunderstand your previous post? I thought you said that you still had to go as a parent with an adult child when they are getting their first 10-year passport at the end of their last 5-year passport. My DC will still have a 5-year passport at 22y 8mo.

No, the young adult goes in person alone:

https://uk.usembassy.gov/apply-for-an-adult-passport-my-last-passport-was-issued-before-i-was-16-or-more-than-15-years-ago/

After that, they can get their second 10 year passport by post.

The 16 or 17 year old passport will be valid for 10 years (but a parent must approve the application)

https://travel.state.gov/en/passports/apply/child/16-17-year-old.html

If he's applying for his next passport at age 17, then it will be a 10-year one. If a child applies for a renewal at age 16 or 17, their next one is an adult one (good for 10 years).

You would have to appear with him at 17 renewal bec his previous one (ie the one that's expiring now) had been a 5-year.

He won't need another renewal until he's 27, not 22.

My son was 14 at his last renewal, so even though he's turning 19, his last passport was good for 5 years, so parents have to appear.

Unfortunately, the OP trusted her ex so didn’t go through court to arrange access and that was her second biggest mistake after trusting her ex to be reasonable.

Unfortunately, she’s got no more rights than he has to have the child living with her (in the UK) so I suspect this will be a long drawn out battle to get the child returned to her.

That's really not how it works. Court is for parents who can't work out arrangements amicably even with mediation (unless there's abuse). They have a contact schedule. They didn't need court. It really isn't an error.

It’s not an error, plenty of parents don’t have a court order, we didn’t and managed to co parent amicably.

But not having a court order does mean that the police won’t get involved as there’s no order to be broken.

His taking the DD out of the country does complicate things, but when there’s no court order it’s considered a civil dispute not a legal one, and it does take some doing to get the child back.

There have been numerous cases on here of fathers who have withheld the children and refused to bring them back and that’s local, and the police won’t get involved and it’s taken weeks to get them back.

It’s different if the parent takes the child overseas. In that case, the Hague Convention applies (provided the other country is a signatory which the USA is).

Under s.1 of the Child Abduction Act 1984, it is a criminal offence for a ‘connected person’ (usually a parent) to take a child out of the UK without the appropriate consent. ‘Appropriate consent’ means the consent of everyone with parental responsibility - almost always the mother (PR can be removed by the courts but this is rare) and the father if he has PR.

Edited to say: This is therefore not a civil matter and the police should not be treating it as such.

To clarify, The Hague Convention should get the child swiftly returned as the E&W courts will have child custody jurisdiction.

The Child Abduction Act will get the OP’s ex arrested and prosecuted. Generally, for pragmatic reasons (and to encourage future cooperation in later cases), if the abducting parent sees sense and returns the child, there is no prosecution. However, there are people who have gone to prison for doing exactly what the OP’s ex has done.