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DD’s dad has taken her overseas and won’t bring her back

395 replies

CherryMummy1 · 10/09/2026 21:01

Me and my DD’s (6 years old) dad have been separated for 4 years. He had DD last weekend and has taken her overseas (he had her passport) and has moved overseas (America) with her and won’t bring her back! I had no idea that he was planning to do this! He has obviously been planning it for a while as he would have had to get Visa’s and plan his move to America and so on. He texted me on Saturday morning while he had DD saying that he was at the airport and that he was moving to America for work and that he was taking DD with him and wouldn’t bring her back! He hasn’t answered any of my calls or messages since. I’m going insane worrying about my DD. I’ve been absolutely in bits since, I’m an absolute wreck and can’t stop crying and worrying about my DD and just want her home with me! I’m DD’s primary parent so can’t imagine how scared and upset she must be feeling without me! The police here in the UK won’t do anything as they are saying her dad also has parental responsibility like me so there’s nothing they can do. Social services are refusing to get involved as well. AIBU to think that the police and authorities should be doing more to get my DD home? I’m absolutely in bits and can’t stop crying over it all! I’m furious and livid with her dad too, I’m absolutely raging at him with anger for doing this

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Pinkflamingo10 · 10/09/2026 21:04

What about The Hague convention on child abduction from their country of residence?
have you sought urgent legal advice ?

HairyAries · 10/09/2026 21:04

I’m so sorry to hear this. Hopefully someone will be along soon who can advise you, but for now I didn’t want to read and run.
Sending strength.

CherryMummy1 · 10/09/2026 21:05

Pinkflamingo10 · 10/09/2026 21:04

What about The Hague convention on child abduction from their country of residence?
have you sought urgent legal advice ?

I have a meeting with a solicitor tomorrow

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parietal · 10/09/2026 21:05

i'm sorry this has happened. Look up Reunite who can give advice specific to this situation.

https://www.reunite.org/

is there a court order that says anything about where your child normally lives?
do you have funds to pay for a lawyer?

do you know what state the father is in and where he works etc?

Reunite | International Child Abduction Centre | Child Abduction Charity

Reunite International Child Abduction Centre are the leading UK charity specialising in the movement of children across international borders.

https://www.reunite.org

Mumlife321 · 10/09/2026 21:06

Ohh gosh I am so sorry this has happened how awful, you must be beside yourself!! Do you have support around you? You need urgent legal advice as soon as possible! Is your child a British citizen?

hotmumshit · 10/09/2026 21:07

Oh darling, I'm so sorry 🥺

This is every parents fear. Quite surprised that the police cant do anything , I wouldve thought this was kidnap.

Contact the US embassy? And the UK embassy in the US?

Keep us updated, mumsnet is great at times like this

🩷

CherryMummy1 · 10/09/2026 21:08

parietal · 10/09/2026 21:05

i'm sorry this has happened. Look up Reunite who can give advice specific to this situation.

https://www.reunite.org/

is there a court order that says anything about where your child normally lives?
do you have funds to pay for a lawyer?

do you know what state the father is in and where he works etc?

I’ll have a look at Reunite, thank you.

No, we didn’t have any court order but we had an agreement between me and her dad that he has her every other weekend.

He said New York when he sent me the message saying he was at the airport going to America. He works for a multi national corporation.

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CherryMummy1 · 10/09/2026 21:09

DD is a British citizen

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BlueMum16 · 10/09/2026 21:10

I'm so sorry this is happening to you and your DD.

Absolutely no advice but here for support like everyone else. I hope you get clarity from the solicitor tomorrow.

CherryMummy1 · 10/09/2026 21:10

hotmumshit · 10/09/2026 21:07

Oh darling, I'm so sorry 🥺

This is every parents fear. Quite surprised that the police cant do anything , I wouldve thought this was kidnap.

Contact the US embassy? And the UK embassy in the US?

Keep us updated, mumsnet is great at times like this

🩷

I’ve contacted the Embassies.

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Aydel · 10/09/2026 21:10

Contact Reunite and the British Embassy in Washington. Actually, you can contact the consular department in the Foreign Office, and ask to be put through to the desk that deals with the United States.

HuffandPuffandPuff · 10/09/2026 21:11

Oh my goodness, how horrifying for you and your daughter.

Definitely seek legal advice. Do you know where in America? Who his employer is?

Sending you love and strength 💐

Aydel · 10/09/2026 21:12

Is he American? Because if your DD needed a visa, I’m sure they would have asked for both parents’ permission to take her out of the country before issuing a visa.

Minasama · 10/09/2026 21:13

This is just awful, I’m so sorry OP. It’s terrible that your ex could do this. I hope the solicitor can help. I’m sure it can’t be legal.,

CharlotteStreetW1 · 10/09/2026 21:13

Can you contact his employer?

CherryMummy1 · 10/09/2026 21:13

Aydel · 10/09/2026 21:10

Contact Reunite and the British Embassy in Washington. Actually, you can contact the consular department in the Foreign Office, and ask to be put through to the desk that deals with the United States.

I’ve contacted the Foreign Office as well but nothing seems to be happening quickly.

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FanSpamTastic · 10/09/2026 21:13

I would contact your MP and ask for assistance.

Is he working for the same organisation? You may be able to track him down that way.

CherryMummy1 · 10/09/2026 21:13

HuffandPuffandPuff · 10/09/2026 21:11

Oh my goodness, how horrifying for you and your daughter.

Definitely seek legal advice. Do you know where in America? Who his employer is?

Sending you love and strength 💐

He’s in New York, I have the name of his employer.

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CherryMummy1 · 10/09/2026 21:14

FanSpamTastic · 10/09/2026 21:13

I would contact your MP and ask for assistance.

Is he working for the same organisation? You may be able to track him down that way.

I’ve emailed my MP as well but I haven’t had a reply yet.

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Hmmmmwineandchocs · 10/09/2026 21:14

No advice but i hope and pray you get lots of help and get her back.
What a total bastard he is to do this.

CherryMummy1 · 10/09/2026 21:14

CharlotteStreetW1 · 10/09/2026 21:13

Can you contact his employer?

I did and they wouldn’t talk to me because of data protection.

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Fupoffyagrasshole · 10/09/2026 21:15

Is he American

if not how has he gotten her a secret visa without you agreeing

like the border wouldn’t just let a single dad and a child in without asking questions surely - this makes no sense

if he is in America it’s likely just a tourist visa / otherwise he’s just lying I bet

Motheranddaughter · 10/09/2026 21:16

Is it a criminal matter I wouldn’t have thought so
Certainly don’t think it’s kidnapping
Hopefully the solicitor will be able to help

You might need a specialist solicitor
I hope you have lots of family/ friends support

BritsAbroadly · 10/09/2026 21:17

Is he American citizen? Is DD? Hire a PI in New York to find the them both and get an address. You’re going to need it.

CherryMummy1 · 10/09/2026 21:17

Aydel · 10/09/2026 21:12

Is he American? Because if your DD needed a visa, I’m sure they would have asked for both parents’ permission to take her out of the country before issuing a visa.

Her father has duel citizenship. I was never contacted about any Visa.

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