To ask if my boyfriend doing this last night is ‘normal’?

[Helenaslide]

I was having a bath last night and he came in and used the loo (no.2). I shouted and asked what he was playing at and he said he has always done this with partners and vice versa as have plenty of people he knows. He stayed for a couple of minutes until he had finished and left laughing.

For context - together 4 months, he was staying at mine last night.

He has said he won’t do it again but I feel a bit humiliated by it tbh.

Absolutely not!! My partner does not come in the bathroom when I'm in there. My daughter will, and sometimes has a wee, but No.2s are banned - as if you want to be stuck in there with that stink!! I will pee in front of my partner, but not poo. Nothing to do with being ashamed of normal bodily functions, it's the smell! Tell him it's gross, his ex might have been ok with it but you're not. Good luck getting trying to get past the ick 😳

My partner will do a poo if he's desperate when I'm in the shower, as the shower is a full cubicle and I can't see the toilet from it. But a) he wouldn't do it if I wasn't ok with it and b) he would NEVER do it while I was in the bath!

Not excusing it but you do realise not everyone has more than one toilet?

eta: I see the op has clarified she has more than one 🤣

Not normal / common behaviour - and even stranger if you have more than one toilet in the house. It would really put me off if I was dating him, especially if he didn't apologise.

Absolutely. When I was still with my ex I had a terrible bout of food poisoning. It was coming out everywhere and I even fainted twice during it, I was very sick but he took care of everything. A completely different scenario to someone being so deliberately disrespectful and gross.

Absolutely revolting !
Iv'e been with my husband for over 30 years , we don't even fart in front of each other .
You have to keep some mystique about yourselves in a relationship😄
I don't think i could fancy him again after witnessing that !

Lots of posts saying, 'not normal', but I think a lot of men would do this. The key thing is, when asked not to in future, has he the courtesy to accept that without fuss. And obviously, your gaff, your rules.

Never has a man been like this with me.

We fart like troupers in front of each other, that’s no problem. A shite? No way.

I have been married to DH for 21 years. We have never done this in front of each other. I have never even wee-ed in front of him, (except kind of behind a bush, or off a boat using a Shewee). I wouldn't stay with a man who did that.

There were five of us growing up with one loo. Anytime someone was going to have a bath or shower we would say, does anyone need the loo as I’m going to have a bath. That was your moment to speak and act. My mum would have gone ballistic if anyone thought it was ok to then invade that person’s space without permission.

No no no no no all day long. And i don’t even change my bed linen more than seasonally, so my standards are pretty low. Christ no.

Why are you, OP and others saying it's humiliating for the OP? Just curious ☺️ - I thought OP was going to say he acted embarrassed and now she felt guilty.

He is the only one who should feel a way about this. But tbh, I don't get why everyone is so disgusted 😭 - I only voted unreasonable because it has only been 4 months and he clearly didn't ask first if it was okay.

Otherwise.. it's a non-issue for me.

What do you mean?? You wash your sheets once every 3 months??

It's disgusting.
I have never pooed in front of a partner and none of my partners have done it in front of me either.

He's making some kind of point and I'd be wondering what other awful behaviour was going to emerge over the coming months.

It’s funny how different people are, I would find that a massive turn off but I know others, who don’t care.

@Helenaslide looking back on the relationship so far, has he done other disrespectful things that you think might have been testing your boundaries?

OMG - I would never never go out with someone who could poo in front of me!

This has got to be the poo troll!?

Well if it is they must be, excuse the phrasing, lapping it up.

Oh god no.

I've spent what feels like forever not having a peaceful wee or a bath because of DC and now cats and I wouldn't put up with a bf doing this. And he's a new bf. This is as good as it gets.

Nor me.

You don't fart in front of each other? So, you just sit in pain in your own home? That's so sad and silly. I do it as soon as possible when dating to check they laugh (says a lot if they don't) - no way am I holding in anything in my own home and definitely not for hours.

I’ve been with DH 25yrs and this would be acceptable in an emergency, with no other loo available. But he had others he could use. If you’re only 4 months in, and not even living together, this won’t be his worst behaviour, there’ll me more to come.

Married over 30 years and still wouldn’t do this. It’s absolutely disgusting. And you are left relaxing in a bath with the room stinking of his poo? I rarely say it but he needs dumping.