AIBU to feel I have left it too late to drive?

[Aabbaas]

I am so upset with myself for this.
I am 40. Learnt to drive in my home country when I was 18, then moved to London shortly after and never had to drive again. I took some refresher lessons a few years ago but never actually managed to become comfortable on the road. Life, DC, work got in the way and I never prioritised driving. Now I feel I am back to square one. I took a few more lessons recently and I have been doing ok but I am scared of starting to drive our car by myself or, even worse, with DC.
I can’t park well either and this stops me from taking the car to go places.
I fear I have lost my boat and it is so frustrating as driving seems to be one of those very basic and effortless life skill for everyone else.

Anyone in a similar position or if you have overcome this, how?

A friend has just passed 1st time today at 37 years old. I passed at 38 (8th time lol) You can do this. You are never too late to learn. Or re-learn in your case! Go for it!!!

It’s never too late, the more you drive and learn, the more your confidence will grow. Have extra lessons focussing on parking.

Don’t risk becoming isolated in layer life (if/when you move out of London).

It's only a basic and effortless life skill for most of us because we've been doing it decades. It took a lot of it not being effortless before we got there. You just need to keep practicing until you get to that point.

DPs mum didn't learn until she was 41, and she was one of the better drivers I know by the time I met her.

Don’t fret too much OP, stick it out for now because driverless technology is coming in very fast so you won’t actually need to drive in the coming years.

do a short course of lessons

My aunt passed her test in her late 60s after being widowed. It is certainly doable - please don’t write yourself off at such a young age. It sounds like you’ve got the basics already - you just need lots and lots of practice with a nice calm adult in the passenger seat.

I was the same. Passed at 36 on my 4th test. I still hate driving but needs must!

I've been driving for decades and while I'm a safe driver, I'm a shitty parker. I park further away if I'm in a lot.

Funny enough, I'm ok at parallel parking.

So don't let being a shitty parker stop you. Do some lessons for road time.

I’m 60 and still haven’t passed. I’ve attempted several times over the years. I lived in London till 2 years ago when it didn’t matter but now I live in a small Somerset town.

my husband drives and he’s happy to take me places but I worry that if something happens to him I’m screwed.

An automatic is the obvious answer…..though I still screwed that up!!

I need to do it though even if it is an automatic though we’d have to get a new car.

Passed aged 46 ...did it in an auto,16 lessons and passed first time ! It was life changing and have never looked back since.
Get you big girl pants on,download the theory app,book your theory test and find yourself an instructor and get that test done !

Not sure if you read my post, I do have a driving licence, passed the test abroad when I was 18!

It’s never too late!!! Do it. It will make such a difference

Do you drive a manual or automatic OP? Auto is miles easier.

You just have to keep at it.

It took me a few years after passing to feel 100% confident driving and parking everywhere. You don’t really “learn” to drive until after your test tbh, the test is just the bare minimum to stop you crashing.

I am in a similar situation to you (and age). I haven't driven since university really apart from some refresher lessons. Sometimes I regret not driving. I've thought about getting lessons and a small car next year.

Our car is manual and we are not planning to change it for now. I know how to drive, my issue is that I am scared of being on the road with other cars!

Similarly, I had a few lessons here and there as a 20 something and a 30 something but never could afford to continue. At 40 I was fed up with being the one who had to rely on husband and by that time, eldest daughter, and decided it was now or never. I finally passed aged 41, 11 years ago. Best thing I ever did. Of course it's not too late

You just have to keep going, push yourself to drive as much as you can. I took 60 hours of lessons and 3
fails before I passed at 35 and it was only really about a year or two later that I really felt comfortable driving. I still get nervous now 12 years on but I have to drive so I do. You just have to keep at it. Challenge yourself to busier places.

I was a very nervous driver, partly as I have poor spacial awareness. Switching to an automatic with rear cameras, front and rear sensors etc has made a huge difference to my confidence - I feel much more in control, largely as I can actually see what is around the car. Is that an option for you?

You've got to keep practicing, there's no way around it. The more you drive the easier it will get.

Husband just learned and passed at 48 recently op!

I passed my test in my 30s, you can do it OP!
I was so nervous at first and my parking wasn’t great but it gets better with practice. If you want to drive then keep at the lessons and your confidence will grow

It’s never too late. But I’ve never understood this U.K. attitude that you have, say, 20 hours of lessons and then you are safe and comfortable to drive. When I was learning, my parents spent many many hours with me practicing in all sorts of conditions - at night, in the rain, in traffic, on motorways, etc. The fact you don’t feel comfortable after a few lessons does’t seem remotely surprising to me. You aren’t too old to learn, you just need lots more practice.

Please forgive the question, but are you sure that your current driving licence is valid in the UK? FWIW I only passed in my 30s - you can do it if you can just get enough practice!

For What it’s worth I don’t like driving. I have been driving since I was 17 and I just do it because I have to. It was useful when the kids were young and it is useful for short drives like to my parents and the tube station. Luckily in London, I don’t have to drive much. I’m just mentioning that because you don’t have to love it, you just have to have enough confidence to do the minimum journeys that you need to.