AIBU to feel I have left it too late to drive?

[Aabbaas]

I am so upset with myself for this.
I am 40. Learnt to drive in my home country when I was 18, then moved to London shortly after and never had to drive again. I took some refresher lessons a few years ago but never actually managed to become comfortable on the road. Life, DC, work got in the way and I never prioritised driving. Now I feel I am back to square one. I took a few more lessons recently and I have been doing ok but I am scared of starting to drive our car by myself or, even worse, with DC.
I can’t park well either and this stops me from taking the car to go places.
I fear I have lost my boat and it is so frustrating as driving seems to be one of those very basic and effortless life skill for everyone else.

Anyone in a similar position or if you have overcome this, how?

So just use Google Maps. It helps you with lanes etc... and if you miss a turning or get in the wrong lane then just keep going and it will find another route for you. Getting lost isn't like it used to be!! It's must less stressful!

Last year my mum (in her 70s) started to "learn" to drive again as my dad's health is becoming poor and she realised that if she didn't make herself do it, they'd loose a lot of their independence when he has to stop driving.

What's the issue with parking?

I was a terrible parker when I first started driving. I used to literally sweat with fear (I don't even know what I was scared of as the chances of doing something seriously wrong when moving slower than walking speed are pretty minimal).

I used to practice by choosing the smallest possible space in a quiet road, like my own, and taking all the time I needed. I'm an absolutely brilliant parker now.

Absolutely all of it is just practice.

Google maps is a great suggestion, too. It takes all the stress out of getting it wrong and is v helpful with lanes.

Oh, and the other great thing about having a map up (even if it's not giving you directions) is that it shows you what is coming up on the road ahead, so no nasty surprises. It will also show traffic so you know if it's busy ahead etc.

Just wait for your driverless car won't be long. No need to pass a test etc.

My SIL just passed hers at 42.

I passed at 46 (first test but I had a lot of lessons - it definitely didn’t come naturally

You need to drive regularly.

I passed at 18 but didnt drive from 20-32. I did a few refreshers but then didn't drive again. Then I bought a car did the refreshers, pushed myself to drive somewhere most days. It soon became second nature. It needs to stop being an event and just be you getting from a-b.

Oh and Im nervous driving places I dont know. And parking although thats more panic than inability, I hate people watching me park.

But I research routes on google maps and research parking options beforehand.

Ahh OP i could have written this myself! I am 36 and in the same boat. I have two young children and planning to try for a third. I know i will NEED to drive but I am terrified!! But looking at all the other comments it looks like we are not alone. Get some lessons booked and im so sure you will get there :)

Thanks everyone, some really encouraging answers! I will get on with it!

Bookmarking as I'm in a the same boat as a lot of you have been and it's encouraging. I even passed my all the tests first time too! Just never really got into it.

I had a long break in my 30s and took refresher lessons. Worked a treat and now I'm driving happily again.

Think my husband was 45/46 when he passed , he’d never really needed to drive as lived in a city with good transport links and didn’t mind using public transport - he loves driving now and is always here and there for work. Go for it

Thank you all for these replies.
i took the courage to drive the car for 15 mins by myself the other day. Will try and continue to do so regularly.
i spoke to DH and we have agreed that maybe next year we could consider trading our old manual car for an automatic (most likely second hand).
if you have suggestions do let me know! It won’t be anything huge or luxurious

The only thing that will help is getting out on the road. Maybe try a weekend morning when roads are more quiet to build up Confidence.
I would ask to focus on parking in a lesson. There are techniques you should be given for reverse parking and parking in general.
I have a friend that learned in her 40’s. She’s still rubbish at driving many years later. This is because she never had a car of her own. Her husband used it for work so she only had weekend access and still hardly used it.
To get up to a decent level you really need to use a car every day. I do also think though that driving just isn’t for some people. My sil has been driving 20 plus years and she’s always bumping and scraping her car. Mostly from the parking perspective.

Of course driving every day is the best way of improving but for some people it isn’t possible. I work in central London and commute to work by train. Then I pick up my child from school directly from the train station and go home and we have dinner as a family/bedtime etc. Yes I can aim to drive myself to the gym once or twice a week when I manage to go in the evening but it isn’t manageable for me to drive every day. I should however make more of an effort in the weekend, for sure.

I passed at 43 after 5 attempts, I was very bad at parking, I just went to supamarkets when they were quiet and used the car park, no cars to bump into, lots of lines to follow practice tell you get used to it.

@Trumpisacunt- which app did you use for the theory test please?

Go for it! (I did at 33). Parking's a lot easier now there's reversing cameras.

Consider getting a car if your own in addition to the current one, if you possibly can. Freedom!!!

I passed my test at 44! You can do it!
However, I still don’t love driving a few years later and my confidence took ages to build up slowly. But it’s been useful to have. You can do it!

It was 14 years ago, I’m not sure there was an app then

Nope. When my aunty died my gran was only 50, so my uncle bought her a car and booked her in for driving lessons to give her something to look forward to and take her mind off it once a week.

She literally said she’s recently taken a few lessons.