Was I in the wrong or was DSis being a bridezilla?

[Weddingdrama26]

Throwaway username for this!

My DSis had an abroad wedding this summer. We were over there for a few days before, during which there was a couple of different ‘events’ including a welcome dinner.

At this dinner, one of her bridesmaids was having what I deemed to be an inappropriate conversation. In ear shot of this, were various older family members who wouldn’t have wanted to hear such (sexual) comments. I followed the bridesmaid to the bathroom and politely suggested she reined in the conversation topics. Which she did.

This was a few days before the wedding. The next morning, my sister sent me a series of shitty messages suggesting I was over reacting, there was drink involved so there would obviously be ‘adult conversations’ and she didn’t appreciate me causing potential issues before her Wedding. I explained why I pulled her up and left it at that. Not all family members present were drinking.

Post Wedding, she is now incredibly off with me and actively avoiding having to spend any time with me.

I have consulted others who agree with what I did but I would welcome some impartial feedback. Should I have left it given the circumstances, or was I right to have said something?

Didn’t the elderly relatives have a mouth on them ? To speak up themselves if they had an issue?

There's a difference between having respect for your elders and automatically assuming they aren't interested in salacious chatter though. Older people (however you define older) are not some homogeneous, sexually naive, pearl clutching group fgs 😂

No reason why older people are particularly likely to mind conversations about sex. Some of them grew up in the swinging sixties. If there were a lot of crude expressions, that might cause offence.

I think you did the right thing. Talking like that among people you don’t know is grim. So you were also saving face for her too. God knows what she would’ve divulged next. What an embarrassment. She should be thanking you. As should your sister.

You are in the wrong - and you need to say sorry to your sis, in my view. It's also a bit patronising to assume 'older' members of the group will throw a fit of the vapours if their aged ears are exposed to a bit of salty chat.

Is this bridesmaid’s first initial J? 🤮

It's not your job to police what other, grown adults talk about.

ew

just be honest you were the one offended by the conversation

I'm intrigued as to whom the BM was telling this story!

Anal sex and then a works party where she shagged someone and then.later that night someone else went down on her. Classy.

Exactly this ffs! Don't police other peoples conversations OP, it isn't your place to tell other adults what they can and cant talk about. Not exactly sure how your sister having an issue with this would make her a "Bridzella" either

obviously 😂

And probably offended by many other things which is why the sister is ignoring her 😂

This!!! Own your shit.

I'm sure old people have heard things a lot worse.....I know I have.
This does remind me of years ago; I went to the pictures with my then boyfriend (now husband) to see the film 'Last Tango in Paris'. On the row behind us were a group of 5 or 6 elderly ladies.
The butter scene came on...it was pretty gross, and the ladies behind tutted and moaned about it for ages. They stayed till the end of the film though,.😊

DSis is wrong to drag it out, but you were a bit of a weirdo for going full prefect.

As an aside, my 76 year old mum told me it was very entertaining to overhear things she wouldn't normally be party to. Don't assume your elders are against piping hot tea or rude jokes!

It's not your place to tell grown adults what they can/can't talk about. It's also not for you to decide what other grown adults can hear!

I agree that she was inappropriate. But if it really bothered you, you could have I formed your sister and let her decide what to do as the person hosting the dinner.

wait....was she talking about the bride????? That's really uncalled for.
I thought it was her own shenanigans that she was discussing?
as an oldie, i am not sure of the relevance of age to this but I don't think you were BU by saying something...maybe though it would have been easiert to address it more lightly and at the table?

The bridesmaid is an adult - what makes you think that you ca. tell her what she can and can’t say……..and following her to the loo to have a word with her????? Wow!

This! Older people have seen and heard it all before, you acting like an outraged school ma’am achieves nothing.

You followed her into the bathroom because you didn’t like an adult conversation amongst adults? That’s batshit behaviour. If there were children there you’d have been correct to intervene (at the time, not trailing her into the toilet). To take that upon yourself was overstepping. If someone else didn’t want to hear it they could have said something to her themselves.

The bridesmaid sounds gross, and, no, I don't think drink gives her license to make these remarks.

You were probably a bit overbearing; might have been better to pointedly steer the conversation to a different topic.

But your sister sounds REALLY unreasonable to hold a grudge over it like this! Is she often like this?

To me, irrespective of the events, this is in no way Bridezilla behaviour or even in the 5 mile radius of such behaviour based on years on here.

I'm by no means elderly but I wouldn't want to hear that conversation at the dinner table either. BM sounds trashy. If you're going to discuss your sex life in such detail, then keep it for when you're on a girl's night out or in with friends.

My auntie would certainly have put her in her place!

I'm 71, and no-one's tried to stop me yet!

I think some people must think we olds never had sex, or only did it in the missionary position with the lights off.