Was I in the wrong or was DSis being a bridezilla?

[Weddingdrama26]

Throwaway username for this!

My DSis had an abroad wedding this summer. We were over there for a few days before, during which there was a couple of different ‘events’ including a welcome dinner.

At this dinner, one of her bridesmaids was having what I deemed to be an inappropriate conversation. In ear shot of this, were various older family members who wouldn’t have wanted to hear such (sexual) comments. I followed the bridesmaid to the bathroom and politely suggested she reined in the conversation topics. Which she did.

This was a few days before the wedding. The next morning, my sister sent me a series of shitty messages suggesting I was over reacting, there was drink involved so there would obviously be ‘adult conversations’ and she didn’t appreciate me causing potential issues before her Wedding. I explained why I pulled her up and left it at that. Not all family members present were drinking.

Post Wedding, she is now incredibly off with me and actively avoiding having to spend any time with me.

I have consulted others who agree with what I did but I would welcome some impartial feedback. Should I have left it given the circumstances, or was I right to have said something?

No way I'd have told my sibling to reign them in, no bride needs to deal with that. But I would have told the people to please keep their voices down given the occasion and older family members. For most people, a quiet polite word would have done the trick without generating drama.

I can see why your sister is annoyed that you caused, in her eyes, drama and I think she's being daft now but you also handled it poorly. An easy solution would be to shelve your pride and apologise.

Blimey - does Dsis know what the conversation was?!

this!! How ridiculous.
I think you were rude to the bridesmaid trying to police her conversation

This completely.

Abusing people in the bathroom is weird.

If you were offended by her conversation you should just tell her quietly someone more open.

Not great topics for the dinner table and to be honest if that was talked about in front of me, my children would pull someone up on it I think. Very disrespectful. Why on earth do people think everyone is interested in the graphic detail of their sex lives.

Ambushing.

Autocorrect.

I think the measure here is your sisters opinion. The fact she is your DS means you are, or should have been better placed to judge her reaction to her bridesmaid discussing this in public.

You got it wrong. Your sister obviously doesnt mind her sex life being discussed in public and she has come down on the side of her bridesmaid.

If it was me i would just apologise and say in future you have no interest in protecting her good (or bad) name.

If it was me they were discussing then i would have appreciated your input but everyone has different standards. Obviously your sister has hers set at a different level

I am genuinely surprised posters think talking about having sex with 2 people on the same night is appropriate dinner conversation! I mean fine amongst your friends or peers but do people not read situations anymore?

I doubt she thinks anyone is interested, she as just pissed

Totally unreasonable of you to police someone else's conversation at a social event.

Your sister is unreasonable to hold a grudge about it though.

You are completely ridiculous.

At most, you could have made a joke there and then saying x relative would have a fit and you would never hear the end of it 😂 , because of course it was not terribly appropriate

but you are ridiculous to have made such a big uptight deal and follow the bridesmaid in the bathroom, what were you thinking!

This sounds like an interesting story. I'd be pissed if you stopped me from hearing it.

If you ‘older’ relatives didn’t want to hear they could have said so themselves.

you shouldn’t be policing what other people can listen to or converse about

Details are inappropriate (mentioning that 1 adult had sex with 2 adults is hardly outrageous, it was a private party, not a funeral or a work event, who cares, just don't join in and bring the conversation to something else?)

but the OP was just as inappropriate

Yeah id absolutely have told one of my sisters drunk mates to reign it in if she was sitting talking about anal sex in front of my gran or great auntie Mary. Ignore your sisters nonsense

depending on the menu, I"d rather you waited for the coffee to arrive before going into the full story frankly

Clearly I am a prude !

You FOLLOWED her to the bathroom? Like got up... followed her... and tried to dictate her conversation?

Wowweeee

I imagine your elderly relatives were enjoying earwigging on the salacious gossip and are still telling their friends about it and having a good laugh! Probably the most excitement they'll have in their lives for a little while.

You shouldn't have said anything, but dsis did over react a bit. However she'll be on an adrenaline high for a few days because it is her wedding so all emotional are going to be raised. Give her a break and try to get things back on an evening keel

I'd have tried to make a joke of it and said something along the lines of "I'm not sure that great-aunt Doreen was expecting to listen to this!" or "cover your ears great-aunt Doreen!" .. and hope that the bridesmaid took the hint.

Unless you and bridesmaid are close friends, it was weird to follow her to the toilets to complain about her behaviour.

I would have said something at the time, jokingly, but the TMI line is good.
No way would I follow an adult and chastise them over a sexual conversation like that....had kids been present, maybe a different approach, but adults can take it, I'm sure.

I'm sure the older relatives had the nous to know that it wouldn't be a good idea to upbraid the bridesmaid publicly.

This is exactly the sort of talk that imo would liven up a pre wedding meal 😂

Sounds like your intentions were good and a bit of an overreaction from sister.