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MIL situation after she arrived early

903 replies

DrivingHomeToYou · 08/09/2026 04:59

My MIL arranged to visit us yesterday. My husband and I both work from home but had booked the afternoon off so told her to come after 2.30pm so we would be finished with meetings.

She turned up at midday. We told her she’d have to entertain herself for a few hours as we were still working.

We have 2 children. Our youngest had his first day of sixth form yesterday and got home at about 1pm. He had a quick conversation with his nan but had been set work to do from college so wanted to get it done and went to his room. Our oldest was still in bed. He is going back to uni next week so had done his last shift at work and went out afterwards with workmates, not getting home til early this morning.

My husband finished work just before 2.30pm so made his mum some lunch. I joined them just before 3pm as a meeting had ran over. We had what we thought was a pleasant afternoon catching up and I walked our 2 dogs for 30 minutes together rather than separately like I usually do, to have more time with MIL. We asked if she wanted to stay for dinner but she said no and left at about 5.30pm

She has sent us a message tonight to say she was annoyed that she had bothered making the effort to come and see us when no one could be bothered to make an effort. My husband asked her what she meant and she said it was over 2 hours before anyone made her a drink, I was late joining them and the kids were rude by staying in their rooms. She also moaned because I was gone for 30 minutes walking our dogs.

How would you respond? She turned up 2.5 hours earlier than we said to knowing we were working. We told her to help herself to anything she fancied and she knows where the tea, coffee, cold drinks, biscuits etc are and we had to work. It’s my husbands mum and he was with her from just before 2.30 which is when we said to arrive from. I joined them as soon as I could. My youngest has been anxious about college so wanted to make sure he completed the work set and I wasn’t going to wake up my oldest when he had only had a few hours of sleep. He did get up and see her for an hour before she left and my youngest came down for about half an hour once he had completed his college work. I walked the dogs as they needed a walk. My husband would have come with me but as MIL didn’t want to go out, he stayed with her. She thinks I should have finished work on time for a visitor, the dogs could have been walked when she was gone, youngest could have done his work later and our oldest should have been made to get up and talk to her when she arrived.

Do you think we did anything wrong? Were we unreasonable?

OP posts:
neilyoungismyhero · 22/10/2026 12:01

MissChanandlerBonng · 08/09/2026 06:08

I think you could have walked the dogs later as a one off. The rest, yanbu

But personally, I probably would have woken DC up and also made a quick cup of tea

Edited

The OP has said she was interviewing and her husband was speaking to a colleague how do you expect either of them to make a quick cuppa?
I don't recall she mentioned MIL is disabled so she could have made herself and them maybe a drink.

6784xx · 22/10/2026 15:52

ImNotYourBestFriend · 21/10/2026 22:42

No to keep the peace and be the bigger person because it's her mother in law. That way the lady keeps her cool, takes the higher ground and sets boundaries. And if the mother in law does it again and crosses the boundaries, THEN she can let her have it. Obviously.

Yeah - that'll REALLY teach the MiL a lesson to put other people before herself, won't it 🙄

Ridiculous.

Obviously

ImNotYourBestFriend · 22/10/2026 16:03

You're ridiculous. Obviously.

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