Friend has cancelled on me last minute

[hungryowl]

Due to go away this weekend from Friday to Monday. Friend has been having rocky patch with husband. She has messaged me today saying she can no longer come as she needs to focus on her family and not have a boozy weekend away. I paid for the whole thing and she was going to cover activities. She has just done me a bank transfer for the full amount so I’m not out of pocket.

We have had many outings before but in the message she specified that at 42 she no longer really fancies boozy weekends and she feels that I haven’t made an effort to reach out at all in recent months and just doesn’t want to go anymore! I think she’s peri menopausal but it should be no excuse cancelling last minute. I wanted a break away from my family as well. I have told her she needs to prepare more for her kids going to uni this month and preparing for empty nest feelings. I don’t like her husband and have been questioning her relationship with him to her whilst they have been arguing and advising heavily to leave him because as she’s getting older she’s now going to pottery and walking groups and spending more and more time with him and I feel like we are losing our connection. I want to go out and be social like we normally are and she’s being extremely boring. Her husband has issues with me because I had an affair but was fine with me before now he seems to think I am a scary influence.

AIBU to just cut her off now?

tbf you are definitely taking the piss.

Blimey and the husband's controlling...?🤣🤣 don't trip over your ego there!

I'm envisaging Lily Savage.

I'm seeing the OP as Patsy from Absolutely Fabulous.

You are so quick to say what your friend needs @hungryowl
You sound controlling and domineering in your friendship.. sounds to me like she's had enough of you.

It's embarrassing how many posters are eating up this obvious wind up of a thread.

I remember from my clubbing days there was always one place we wouldn't go to, as it was nicknamed the 'grab a granny' club. Full of sad, middle aged women out on the piss and on the pull and falling over drunk.

Yeah, this can't be real. No-one is this stupid and totally lacking in understanding. Booking into clubs and bars when your traveling companion has an alcohol problem that she's managed to control for a year?

She’s outgrown you.

I used to go to a club that was nicknamed Grab a Granny, I wonder if it’s the same one 😂

I have one point, though its more general.
Did the friend as OP for the advice?

I actually think it's very decent of her to refund you the whole amount. Most would have just given you their 50% back and hoped you would still go on your trip alone, which I think you should definitely do. Take yourself out for some nice meals and lovely walks. It's never a good idea to be judgemental about someone else's relationship, even if you believe she's flogging a dead horse. The negativity will always ring in her ears when they get back on track.

Or just having a bit of fun with it.

I’ve had the same message off them lol

Your husband "would never be allowed to tell you" that you having an affair was unreasonable? Really?

It was obviously a perfectly reasonable affair 😂

100% agree. You can imagine, "Oh God John, pissed up HungryOwl is on the phone again demanding a weekend of slut drops and vodka. I'm going to tell her you won't like it. Ok?" "Sure love." 😂

… why can’t you let your hair down with your husband?

I come here for entertainment, not on some charitable plight to help the less fortunate.

This thread is definitely delivering on the entertainment. I don’t really need to to fulfill my need to do go in the world 😂

And yet you think her husband is controlling. You think you know what's best for an adult woman - that's controlling.

I'm in my 40s and don't drink much. I can't think of anything worse that a weekend of clubbing and bars. I'd love a spa weekend. She's grown out of her clubbing era. That's perfectly normal. If you still want to go clubbing, you need to go with someone else.

This has got to just be a wind up post. Op sounds about 12.

It sounds like you’re both very different people now, It’s ok to let the friendship end.

The worst she has had to do is stop me vomitting in the street. She was more concerned about her uber rating than my wellbeing! So I’m being shunned for being immature. I find that immature

Why do you think you know what she needs better than she does?

You sound totally selt centered and bulldozer-ish.

I wouldn't want a friend like the OP.