To think the “red flag” documentaries should be played at school

[sodoffbeforemycupofcoff]

If you have a DD, it could be a good idea to get her to sit down and watch these documentaries on BBC iPlayer about red flags of abusive men. From experience, if you’re uneducated, you won’t know you’re knee deep in abuse until it is too late.
They should play these clips in school to educate young ladies, and even young men (although these clips are about abusive men).

Huge well done to the ladies on the documentary for speaking out, pressing charges and filming a doc to help others.

I have a daughter and I have a son.

I categorically would not want this shown at my children’s schools.

that is interesting, why not?
Was you ok with them learning about inappropriate things like sex at the primary school age? That is what they are taught in year 6. Which no 10/11 year old has any business knowing about. Abuse, however in my opinion is an epidemic. Interesting to hear other opinions though

Or parents could parent and discuss these things at home. Not everything can be a curriculum area just because too many parents would prefer someone else to cover everything. Schools can't cover all societal gaps. Where does it stop? On here I've seen stuff like this mentioned - schools should teach: teeth brushing, mortgages, taxes, pensions, river safety, nutrition, household skills, first aid etc etc Where does it end before we're not even teaching core subjects because there's no time due to the list ever growing.

I agree, but how many times did you listen to your parents about boys/girls growing up?

You have said it yourself OP. Children and adults do not always listen. It doesnt matter the person or profession. Sometimes you genuinely cant see it when you are in it.

Schools have enough to do.

Believe me, educated young ladies get drawn into abusive relationships, plus those from happy stable homes.

Of course children don’t always listen, was you is a prime example of that.

I do find it quite odd that you claim to be concerned about children being amazed, but you are anti something which decreases the chance of a child being abused.

I would be interested to see the stats of abuse/domestic violence and the education level of victims, can you please share that @sodoffbeforemycupofcoff? I have just had a very quick google and couldn’t find any data.

Schools have enough to cover! And why are you picking on uneducated girls as more likely to be vulnerable to abusive men? Stats to back up that opinion?

We do teach all those things in PSHE lessons! The national curriculum is fairly vague though so each school will interpret it differently.

Was you ok with them learning about inappropriate things like sex at the primary school age

was I ok with my 10/11 year old having biology lessons before heading off to secondary school the following year?

Yes Op, I was ok with that

Totally agree op. I'd also love The Freedom Programme to be rolled out to year 10s or 11s. It would probably save hundreds of lives.

“Abuse is epidemic”

What has led you to conclude that?

Red flag documentaries aimed at specific ages I think would be a good idea.

Yeah the idea that its only “uneducated” women who get drawn into abusive relationships prompted a bitter laugh from me.

I have two degrees and have had two successful careers, am in a senior position at a consultancy firm and still found myself in an abusive relationship.

I think it starts at home at the most important factor is how you see your mother being treated by your father. I don’t know what the “red flag documentaries” are, but I don’t think its a bad idea to have some basic information about what coercive control means taught at school.

I hope the OP meant uneducated as in uneducated when it comes to recognising abuse etc not GCSEs/A levels/degrees

As. OK said a lot of this stuff is covered in PSHE, I know my daughter learnt about unhealthy relationships in year 8/9

What is odd is the OP horrified by year 6 pupils having biology lessons about sex

Are you joking?

No.

What has led you to conclude abuse is an “epidemic”

Which documentaries?

But what if they have no clue themselves what red flags should warn them off a relationship?

it’s not like we’re born knowing!

Are teachers born knowing them? Or can parents learn them in the same way teachers can?

I agree and as someone who is currently reading 'Why does he do that?' By Lundy Bancroft as I try to unpick myself from a very damaging relationship, I think that it should be essential reading for high-schools.

Some of this is covered in PSHE, although possibly not in huge detail. I have shown my daughter some appropriate age episodes of Catfish and if there’s something that comes up in a tv programme I will often ask her what she thinks. Showing documentaries or clips could be useful, but I don’t think it should necessarily be compulsory.

Agree too!

I have talked to both DD and DS about red/green flags since they were little. Always age appropriate but I thought it was important that they both recognise the signs of toxic, abusive people who will bring no joy to their lives as friends or partners.

(When they hit the teenage years they particularly enjoyed 'Red flag guy' from youtube)

I don't think this is a schools responsibility though, it was ours as parents.