Aibu feeling uneasy about men taking little girls to the toilet in the womens toilet?

[Fasdmama]

I've seen this a few times and I dont know what is the right thing to do.
So the other week we were at the cinema. I took my daughter to the toilet and as I was waiting for her a man came out of a cubicle with a little girl and went to wash her hands.
It got me thinking.
I feel uncomfortable a man in the womens toilet. I understand how you'd potentially feel uncomfortable taking a daughter into the mens toilets.
And the only other option in this situation was the disabled toilet but morally thats wrong.

I dont know what I feel is right in this situation so wanted to know other people's opinions.
So yabu: its right for a man to take girl into female toilets
Yanbu: he should take her somewhere else...but where?

'A man helping his young daughter in the women’s toilets is not going to be there for his own gain and most women in the real world will be able to understand why he’s there, even if it’s not ideal.'

Men should not be in women's toilets. Full stop.

As you say girls too young to go alone will not be bothered by being shepherded into a cubicle in the men's.

I can only suggest you take a breath and read my posts on this thread.

I don’t know what makes you think that men suddenly are safe because they are parents .plenty of male sex offenders are parents . This is such a simplistic view . Yes you might think that of your DH . But a strange man is a strange man regardless of who they are with

Why are girls not bothered? But grown women are? How strange.
I have friends with sons and the mums take them in the ladies or the gents 😮 a lady in the men's toilet. I wonder how many are clutching their pearls now.

I did . You said you are not the authority on this . No one here is so why even bother discussing it . You have also said no one is right or wrong yet made it blindingly obvious who you think is wrong

Headteachers, teachers, doctors have all been caught installing cameras. The common factor is that they are all male. There’s a Scottish politician that was questioned for putting hidden cameras in the male toilets.

It’s an epidemic.

What can be done about it is to make the toilets single sex so that the cubicle itself can be as simple and plain as possible. No places to hide stuff. Having gaps above and below the doors and partitions allows for natural ventilation for example. No visual alarm devices are needed in individual cubicles either. It also means people are noticed doing something suspicious.

Male cleaners are needed because we need clean toilets. There may not be enough women cleaners. Unfortunately women cleaners have been attacked too, working late at night so it can be a safety thing for women.

So by your logic, if you had a son, you’d take him into the men’s right? I mean, he would be male and entitled to use the men’s?

'I don't know why people think dads with a very young daughter are in the slightest bit interested in them'

Oh dear. It isn't about if they're 'interested in them'. They should not be in there. Many women would feel incredibly uncomfortable seeing blokes in the ladies it isn't up to you or your dh to dismiss that.

Do try to use some common sense and tell your dh to get out of them.

What is it with you, your dh and your friends?!

You use the toilet aligned with the adult. Not the toddler .

I said I have no authority to allow or deny anyone entry into a public loo. As indeed none of us on this thread have (unless there are some security guards or police hanging around)

I think you may need to work on your reading comprehension.

I'm disabled and would not object to a father using the disabled toilet with his daughter if there wasn't a unisex or family toilet available.
Even before I was disabled, I would use the disabled toilet with my children due to needing the space for me and children. There often isn't space in a normal toilet cubicle for a parent and child/ren.
If my husband was out with my daughter, he would also use the disabled toilet with her.
Many toilet arrangements haven't kept up with modern family set ups!

But if you had a son he would take them to the men’s? Or would that be too dirty for him too so your husband would take his male child to the women’s? Or are girls too delicate for dirt and boys can suffer through it?

A woman is a sexual being as well. This is is why they don't take their young sons into the men's room.

The segregation by sex is meant to give sexually aware people (adults of opposite sex) privacy from each other.

But there are those who would say if a male cleaner enters the women's loos even once, even when there are no women there, then it's no longer a single sex space.

I personally would disagree as I think a space can still be functionally single sex while still having e.g. male cleaners enter.

throwing insults at me because you have been called out on your wishy washy nonsense is a bit silly . Take a deep breath yourself

True, also a male cleaner will have gone through the interview process and had his references checked and been asked about a criminal history, the employer will have his details on record if there are any issues. Obviously it’s not a catch all, but it’s more than any random man off the street will have had.

It isn’t - that is why they put signs up warning people so they can make an informed decision whether to enter

It's not an insult, it's an observation based on your persistent misinterpretation of what I write.

I have no idea if it's deliberate or not, but either way the point stands.

Yes, just like a hospital ward can be single sex even though staff of both sexes work there.

Problem is people think disabled people should be prioritised for disabled toilets

Why is that a ‘problem’? And reasonable ‘most of the time’?

Disabled people fought to get their facilities and to say that is awful. I’m hoping you are being sarcastic.

If men go in the men’s (regardless of what sex of child they have with them), women go in the women’s and disabled people go in the disabled then it’s not a ‘problem’ for anyone.

Does this mean that your interpretation is that there's no such thing as a single sex toilet then? Because sooner or later every women's loo will have a man in it (and vice versa of course).

Women ARE sexual beings . What gave you the idea I said they are not . Men do not like adult women in their toilets or changing rooms for this reason also

Obviously depends what they are needing to do in the toilet but my son could just about be helped to pee without touching the seat. My niece isn’t able to reliably “hover” or be held without pee going everywhere, she needs to sit on the seat. So I’d prefer the chances of a cleaner seat in the ladies or the accessible loo if possible.

Except for the female child that wants to go to the women's toilet.

I think the needs of a child who is too young to use the toilet alone should trump the feelings of those who are older - even if they are women.

Of course, nobody wants men in women’s spaces, and men as a rule should not be in the women’s toilets. But in the real world you can’t just stamp your feet and nicely tie things up with a “full stop!”.

A child too young to use the toilet is going to be the most vulnerable person in this situation and if there is no other option, as a last resort in an absolute emergency then I would expect people to be big enough to consider the situation for what it is.