Aibu feeling uneasy about men taking little girls to the toilet in the womens toilet?

[Fasdmama]

I've seen this a few times and I dont know what is the right thing to do.
So the other week we were at the cinema. I took my daughter to the toilet and as I was waiting for her a man came out of a cubicle with a little girl and went to wash her hands.
It got me thinking.
I feel uncomfortable a man in the womens toilet. I understand how you'd potentially feel uncomfortable taking a daughter into the mens toilets.
And the only other option in this situation was the disabled toilet but morally thats wrong.

I dont know what I feel is right in this situation so wanted to know other people's opinions.
So yabu: its right for a man to take girl into female toilets
Yanbu: he should take her somewhere else...but where?

Perhaps not standing in a queue

Do you really need to ask? Disabled people fought for these facilities and they should be used only by those who are disabled.

It is odd that so many people lose their shit over people without kids using parent and child parking yet don’t see an issue with using disabled facilities.

The fact you don’t see a queue outside doesn’t mean it’s not used. It means hopefully that those who use it are the ones who are entitled to do so.

No I’m saying
1] I’ve never been in a male loos but my understanding is everyone is very discrete. In fact most men do anything to not reveal anything and they don’t like exposing themselves. They have their back to the walkway and so the chances of seeing anything whilst a dad is quickly guiding his child to the cubicle is almost zero
2] going to the toilet in a cubicle is only part of what people do in the loos. Many people, including myself have heavy periods particularly when young and so have to do a clean up afterwards. Some women use moon cups they need to empty. Sometimes women get changed in the loos. All sorts of reasons why I consider them to be private spaces and would feel mortified if a man was in there at the sinks at the same time. If we simply say why are you bothered about a male in the toilets then why don’t we just make them all mixed sex then? There seems to be a strange prevailing argument ‘well he’s a dad, so clearly he’s lovely and kind what have you got to fear?’. Well you could say that about most men.

You have hit the nail on the head. I have actually seen inside male toilets (open door and urinals visible from outside the door) and that’s exactly how it is. Blokes just trying to have a piss as quickly as possible without other men seeing their cocks.

It's a parenting website. 🙄

Actually it’s just a website - it’s long past being a place just for parents, despite the name and tagline. There are so many boards which have no relevance to being a parent.

That's very true. In this case I thought some actual experience of the gents would be useful and informative. There's been some pretty wild ideas about what goes on

You would think that was exactly what was needed but then you are talking sense and it goes against the idea that people are determined to hold on to, that men are in their waving their tackle around in there!

So a boy needs the loo and his mum takes him to the men’s. Got it.

Take into the accessible loos.

Can understand not wanting to take her into the men’s, they are rank.

A lot of places these are “accessible” toilets. Yes they are for people who are disabled. Often also the only place a mum with a pram can have a wee herself!

Quite.
Thinking back to my childhood best friend. Her Dad turned out to be a raging paedo who raped her many many times.
He would have loved to be given access to the womens toilets, and its shocking how so many on here would hold the door open for him.

Really weird that this thread has an equal split of votes. If you emotion men in women’s toilets on here there is usually absolute uproar that of course this should never happen. How strange this thread is an exception to that.

And my understanding is that it’s allowed although I would hope it would be a very quick visit so that a disabled person didn’t have to wait (their need trumping your convenience).

Not to be grim, but he clearly had access to her 24/7 so single-sex toilets didn't prevent him from raping, did they.

Shall we ban men from fathering children at all because some men do rape their children? Because I can tell you now, that's far more common than a man using a child to gain access to women in public bathrooms. And far far more common than most people realize.

It wasn't just her he raped. He also loved installing cameras into the family bathrooms.
I'd rather not give any man access to a woman's toilets than give someone like him all the access.

Really? See example above - paraplegic relative forced to wait in agony to have access to a toilet to empty their catheter bag at a public venue - it had filled more quickly than usual and was urgently needing emptying during intermission.

We were about to "pee" the bag into a bottle in front of everyone. My relative was mortified and very upset - this was in the first year post injury when everything was very new and being out was a very big deal. In addition, the wait for the facility meant missing the beginning of the second part of the show - toileting was not easy and took time. My relative was very close to giving up and going home. One of the few nights out that year was wrecked by a selfish able bodied person who couldn't be arsed to wait for a normal cubicle to be free. They felt their convenience was more worthy than a disabled person's dignity and well-being. Can you see the morally wrong part now?

At least they weren't waiting to sort bowels, there's no stoma in place so could get very messy and very smelly very fast. But maybe that's what the general public deserves if they're happy to deprive disabled people of accessible toilets reserved for their use? The disabled person doesn't deserve that though.