Aibu feeling uneasy about men taking little girls to the toilet in the womens toilet?

[Fasdmama]

I've seen this a few times and I dont know what is the right thing to do.
So the other week we were at the cinema. I took my daughter to the toilet and as I was waiting for her a man came out of a cubicle with a little girl and went to wash her hands.
It got me thinking.
I feel uncomfortable a man in the womens toilet. I understand how you'd potentially feel uncomfortable taking a daughter into the mens toilets.
And the only other option in this situation was the disabled toilet but morally thats wrong.

I dont know what I feel is right in this situation so wanted to know other people's opinions.
So yabu: its right for a man to take girl into female toilets
Yanbu: he should take her somewhere else...but where?

Yet a man going into the ladies is ignoring that segregation. So regardless of the reasons for the original separation of facilities, he shouldn’t be in there

Think of it this way, how many of us had a dad take us in women’s toilet when we were children?

Mine wouldn’t have dreamt of it.

I always took my daughter into the men's toilet. It was never a problem. I'm well into my fifth decade and I've never yet seen a man "with [his] penis hanging out at a urinal."

Really, even when you're a six foot tall man standing right next to the urinal user, it's impossible to catch more than the most fleeting glimpse unless you try very hard and are really blatant about it. And that would be a very serious breach of urinal etiquette.

Exactly, I think most of the posters assume that men wander about with everything hanging out.

A man at a urinal is showing less than people realise.

And if you are a man who needs to use a toilet but have a small child which happened to be a girl? By logic presented here by some said man should go to the ladies as well.
btw. I hope that all users terrified that their daughters might see male back at the urinal do not teach their sons to piss whenever they like. Every girl growing up in the UK already had a chance to see a man taking a piss in public (pun intended).

The only thing this thread proves is that there's no consensus and no one right answer (despite both sides thinking they're the only ones in the right).

The obvious answer is more gender-neutral / family rooms, but that's not always a practical solution in smaller buildings.

Funny how other countries manage perfectly well without men going into the women’s loos with small children . I honestly have never seen it in my life . If the consensus was so evenly split it would be a common sight , as men are often out in public with small children.

YANBU. I find it so bizarre that anyone thinks this is normal or necessary. I have never once in my life seen a man taking his daughter into the ladies' toilets. When I was little, my dad took us into the men's when we were out with him, and my husband now takes our daughters into the men's (until they are old enough to go into the ladies' alone with him waiting outside).

Well yes but since no women can give consent for other women then The default has to be men take their girls into the males.

Consent doesn't apply when it comes to who else is in a public space though.

No-one needs anyone else's consent to go into a public loo.

Then all toilets are mixed then surely? We can all just go in whichever is most convenient?

They are often covered in pee.

There really does need to be more loo options available for everyone in general.

You should go to the gender of the parent not the child

This is irrelevant to the consent point, but it depends how you are defining mixed sex.

If you mean that no person of the opposite sex has ever stepped foot in there and if they have then it's not single sex, then yes all toilets are mixed sex.

If you mean that the social convention of splitting toilets by sex is followed 99% of the time except for tricky situations / mistakes / other loos being out of order / male cleaners or other staff, then no, I'd say toilets are still functionally single sex.

I've no problems with a man taking his daughter into the women's cubicles.
My son is 10. I take him to the women's toilets when family ones aren't available.

I have worked in sexual abuse prevention. I get very nervous seeing children go to adult toilets unaccompanied because I've heard too many bad stories. I would prefer children not to be in men's toilets and not to go unaccompanied. Even at my son's birthday party, I stood outside the children's toilets in case any adults wandered in.

So at what age do you think that girls should be chaparoned into the womans toilets until, to keep them safe from men?

Pets? Disgusting language to dehumanise little girls to the level of animals.

You have agreed that male cleaners and little boys with their mums have a very good reason and need to be in the women’s toilets but keep saying a little girl who requires the assistance of her dad has no reason and no need to be in the women’s toilets and should go into the men’s.

Why am I not suprised you would prioritise a man’s very important job and boys with a female carer having good reason and need to be in the women’s while barring entry to a little girl.

She’s not even human to you. Do you realise the misogyny in the exceptions you are allowing to the no males in the women’s toilets all being to benefit males? But the second a female needs an exception you’re calling her a pet (animal) and saying she has to go into the men’s toilets.

It’s absolutely the wrong thing to do and men doing it are creepy. Women don’t take their sons to the men’s toilets do they?

Well in southern France, I used communal toilets, lockers and changing rooms at the swimming pools. So all the dads, single men, boys etc were there.

So what would you suggest if a father had to bring a daughter swimming in a facility with only communal changing with no cubicles which is the only availability for many many people. Answer me that

You agreed it was ok when another poster mentioned male cleaners.

Calling little girls ‘precious pets’ in a derogatory fashion as an insult is dehumanising.

Saying I’m a snowflake is ironic when you’re the one who would have a meltdown seeing a dad with his little girl in the women’s.

I would not have a meltdown I didn’t say I would . I just do not agree with it all in principal. And I do not think all little girls are precious pets . It’s the parents driving this hysterical behaviour and treating them as such .

If people are so worried about young girls being in men’s toilets accompanied by their dads, then why aren’t they equally worried about taking young boys in there? If they’re so gross, unsafe for young children, whatever, then why are 4yo or whatever boys going in there with their dads either? At such a young age, there’s surely no need to differentiate between boys and girls particularly. If it’s too gross with willies flapping everywhere for a 4yo girl then it’s too gross for a 4yo boy… But in reality toilets are toilets, they can be grim at any time. I’ve been in some truly horrible women’s toilets with DDs too, it is what it is.

Surely the well-established ‘rule’ is that the adult goes into the toilet of their sex with young child until that child is old enough to go into the toilet themselves. DD1 is 7 now so my DH would wait outside the women’s toilet for her, but would take DD2(4) into the men’s if he was out with her solo (otherwise DD1 and 2 would go into the ladies together and he would wait for them outside). 4yo can go solo in some places - soft play for example she will take herself as everything is kid level.

I can’t imagine DH ever contemplating going into a women’s toilet unless there was some sort of crisis inside with DDs.