to think what's the point of being married??

[scottishmum007]

I'm married myself but really living in sin would have been a lot cheaper (no wedding fees to pay for). The only people that profit from a couple saying I Do are the Government really.Anyone else thought of this before?
Besides the obvious reasons for getting married ('we love each other') is there really any incentives to tying the knot?? financially the government are raking it in, with all us saps paying the fees to marry. What don't we get an allowance for being married couples anymore?? we used to...

oops that was meant to say why don't we get an allowance for being married anymore?

If you or your husband died you would be in a much better financial position than if you were cohabiting.

If you split up your rights are much more protected if you are married.

I don't really get the point about the fees though, it's only what, £150? The govt doesn't get anything else from you and as the number of people co habiting has overtaken those who are married they're not really 'raking it in', are they?

It is expensive to throw a wedding but it is a lovely big party for all your friends and family.

I feel that christenings, weddings and even funerals are really important in bringing extended families together and for friends to see each other. It's lovely for the children as well to see all their relatives and get a bit dressed up and have a special day. It's the occasions that make up a lot of the memories.

God I sound really sappy. But there you go!

Married couples allowance would be nice though...

Agree with Olihan.

It's possible to get married very cheaply. If marreid, you are all much better protected legally if a partner dies.

but what's the incentive to get married though? i understand about the lovey dovey stuff, fair do's, but in real terms, what's the point of it all??
I'm happy being married but when it comes down to it we all do it to conform to society, because it's expected of us (esp when kids are involved).
i agree, the number of co habiting couples is defo on the increase, but they realise that the bigger commitment of the two (having kids) is more likely to keep a couple together than a marriage itself.

but this is one sided, I agree financially (the woman in the majority of cases) is going to be reaping the benefits financially but what about the men?? where do they benefit from it financially?
I'm trying to look at this sitting on the fence, by not defening man or woman.

I think men would have more rights re children in teh event of splitting up. House husbands, lower earners would benefit.

Having better legal protection can be incentive enough, if you're not into all teh love stuff.

pointydog, we got married for just under £3k, but even then we both considered it to be a waste of money, but couldn't make it any cheaper sadly (and that was getting married at the register office!!).
anyway, we don't get any incentive from the government to get married, so why are we all mad enough to do it?? cohabiting couples are more or less living in similar situations at married couples, minus a bit of paper.

This thread will give you some very good reasons on why you need to be married if your partner dies.

It's issues such as, if your child needs hospital treatment, only the mother can sign the consent form, regardless of whether her partner is named on the birth certificate. If you are married, either of you can do it.

If your partner is ill, then you can not sign the consent forms, his/her parents have to do it,

Likewise, if they die, as a partner you can not sign the death cert, but as a wife/husband you can.

If you are married and one of you dies then joint credit cards would be closed, you wouldn't get a grant for the funeral, all belongings would go to his/her family, you would have no claim on their pension, you can't own their grave, or order the headstone.

If you have children but aren't married and you die without a will then custody automatically goes to the mother's parents - if the father has an awkward relationship with them it could be a nightmare

I think that's reasons enough to get married, don't you?

If you can't see the point of it then there's no point in doing it. For me, I think marriage means a lot more to me than to most people - it's a commitment before God and your friends and family; the day completely changed my life as I had not lived with my husband before marriage. I feel very sad when I ask newlyweds "How does it feel being married?" and they say "no different" - I believe it should be completely different. I wouldn't bother if you don't believe it can change anything because otherwise it's just a very expensive party.

But it costs very little to get married in a registry office. You could buy a nice cheap frock, go away for a weekend, get married in a registry office, have fish and chips. Odf course you can do it cheaply.

What about getting married because you love your partner and want to celebrate that with your friends?

Yes, but it's the bit of paper that makes a MASSIVE amount of difference in legal terms.

That one tiny piece of paper gives you so much protectionin the event of something happening to your other half.

It also gives fathers many more rights over their children.

Oh and family too. I say friends as DH and I did not really have many family members, but a lot of close and supportive friends

i get the impression sm is looking for a barney, lots of people have stated the reasons for getting married. you can do it for lots less than 3k, mine cost a couple of hundred (and it was only that much because my mum wanted me to have a dress and a party, i didnt plan on any of that). its like life insurance, you dont see any benefit until something awful happens and then you (or those around you) are really glad you had it

exactly what one of my cousins did - she and her best mate plus respective DPs went to Scarborough for the weekend, got married, each being the other couple's witnesses, and then came back and told everyone that's what they had done.

yes, i love my hubby but we are also very practical thinking as a couple and just think the money could be better spent on other things. i'm pretty sure i'm not the only one to think this, but i'm just a bit more open and honest about it than most that's all.
it's ashame there are no incentives financially for couples these days now. esp the married ones. after you get married, regardless of whetehr you lived together beforehand or not, it doesn't actually change you does it? you are just part of a couple and share your life with someone. ofcourse it's special but besides all the airy fairy romantic notions for wanting to marry, what's really in it for the couple??

round and round the garden...

a wedding can cost £200 or £200,000

my MIL recently got married and it was lovely - simple registry office do and a meal afterwards

i think Olihan summed it up well

so what some of you are saying is that you got married for financial gain in the event of something happening? were you open about this when you spoke of getting married? i was open about it just before i got married so there were no secrets, hubby knew it was for financial reasons should anything happen to him.

Yeah, I don't really get how you can spend £3k on a registry office wedding and be unable to make it any cheaper.

According to This govt site it will only cost £100 for the ceremony - £30 a head to give notice of the wedding and £40 for the actual ceremony.

£100 for almost complete financial and legal peace of mind is a small price to pay, in my mind.

what is wrong with airy, fairy romantic notions?

i married DH because i love him, and want to spend the rest of my life with him

i don't think that is a bad aspiration

no, i'm not trying to cause arguments, just wondering how others viewed it.
so basically, in subtext, women choose to marry over cohabiting because they are thinking of the money.