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To block my 14yo ds from getting a PS5

6 replies

BestIneverhad2026 · Today 11:07

Hi all

My son recently turned 14 and is in year 10. For his birthday his dad offered to buy him a ps5. I am not with the dad for context so it would be in my home and have to be managed by me.

I have had issues with screen time with my older son and excessive gaming. He is doing extremely well in school but I worry that the ps5 will be a big distraction and another tension point managing it. He also spends alot of money on gaming. He gets pocket money but always relies on me to buy him what he needs and keeps his money for games and gaming products.

I suggested to his dad that he should buy him a new bike instead. His current bike is very unreliable and he uses it daily to get to school and back. I worry that it might affect his body pedalling an old unwieldy bike so a brand new one would be better for his body.

His dad agreed and now my ds is very upset with me. I did suggest to the dad to keep the ps5 at his house but he ignored that suggestion and instead quickly agreed that a bike would be better.

Was I being unreasonable to interfere?

OP posts:
BestIneverhad2026 · Today 11:13

For further context he already has a laptop, phone, desktop and nintendo switch so we already have multiple games consoles in the house. I have put limits on all of them but he literally spends the day switching from electronic to electronic unless I force him out or he has a club to attend. He has been blocked from getting social media like Snapchat and tiktok because I worry he will get in to problems. He is doing well in school and is reasonably well behaved at home. But he is a bit immature socially (youngest in year group) and he often tries to get around restrictions with his electronics for example changing settings on my own. Whatever time limits I put on him it will be a battle to enforce them.

OP posts:
Gerwurtztraminer · Today 11:18

Good for you. Yes son might be a bit annoyed with you but a new reliable bike is a far better investment than a PS. You are right to be concerned about the effect of gaming on young people's developing brains, they are designed to be addictive and sounds like he's already shown signs of that.

I have two sets of friends who deeply regret getting their sons gaming set ups as it's really badly affected family life, especially once they were into their teens. Literally couldn't get them out of the house at times and huge rows when parents tried to restrict it.

Also here on Mumsnet the amount of younger women complaining about the hours and hours of gaming their lazy, useless partners do, not contributing to family life and household chores, shows what can happen as they get a bit older.

lxn889121 · Today 11:29

Personally I think you are battling the wrong thing. A single specific console being allowed or banned won't make or break a child's addiction or unhealthy gaming habits.

If he had no devices at all, and you were arguing about introducing his first console or not, that would be different - but here we are talking about adding a new device, to the list of game-ready devices he already has.

For someone who likes gaming (as I did a lot back when I was younger and had plenty of time) if you want to game, you will game on whatever you have. Only have a basic laptop? no problem, there are plenty of online browser games that will run on anything.. phones, plenty of games etc. Refusing to buy one specific console won't stop him gaming or make him not have an issue with time management/gaming addiction.

Yes a new console will fuel a short-term increase in his gaming, as with any new purchase, the excitement of the first weeks/months is a lot, but long term, it likely won't increase or decrease his desire to game.

The battle you should be fighting is the type of game he plays, and how he plays it. The research on video games is fascinating - they aren't universally bad. In fact some are great, and actually help facilitate problem solving, logic, concentration etc. However, others do the exact opposite and are dangerous addictive time-traps.

Focus on teaching him the role gaming has in his life, and make sure the choice of games is positive, instead of banning/prohibiting things outright. He is old enough now to learn those rational-thinking skills, and you'll avoid the issue of banning something making it just even more desirable.

For me, I'd let him have the console but on the condition that it conforms to your existing screen time rules, and with the extra condition that you get final say over what games he buys or plays until he is older.

Dandeloosha · Today 11:32

All his mates will have PS5s. My DS and his friends all play together and it’s quite an important part of his social life. Certainly he would be excluded from ‘hanging out’ online with them if he didn’t have one. It’s a part of their shared experience

Teenagerantruns · Today 11:36

I would just get him the bike for birthday, tell him you will think about the PS5 for Christmas if he proves he can be responsible about electronics he already has.

burnoutbabe · Today 11:43

I have a ps5. I have just seen all the games coming out in next few months and am wondering how on earth I’ll fit them all in and I only work part time! All the new games are huge involved games that take 50+ hours. So unless he is only going to play fifa they are time sucks.

(and £580! Was only £320 last year)

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