AIBU to ask for advice on how to overturn a school decision - quickly

[Canwehavesesomesanityback]

What can I do to overturn a school decision - quickly? It is regarding mobile phones. The school has introduced a no phones at school policy. If a teacher is on a journey home and sees a child on a phone, they will “chase them down the street and snatch it out of their hand” as it shows they had a phone in school.

There was a horrible and frightening incident fairly near school today. So whilst school were busying themself with catching children out for taking a blazer off at a bus stop or using a phone after school, my child was involved in something bloody terrifying. I’ve been up half the night. It should involve the police, but we are not going down that road and time would have been of the essence anyway. My husband was driving about a minute away from her at the time, happily oblivious. I’m shaken up, but also feel in an impossible situation.

This occurred close to school, with a couple of friends, in daylight with people nearby. Her journey also includes much larger elements where she’s on her own and secluded. I’m really fucking angry and revolted too (huge understatement) that the school have the power to dictate the removal of a tool for use outside of school, compromising my child’s safety.

As a bare minimum, I want a brick phone allowed in school - turned off, handed in, confiscated if used or seen - I don’t care. I want them to find a way that the other 97% of schools do, so that my child has access to a phone, even if it’s just a brick phone, should she need it out of school.

They have lots of draconian rules, appear very rigid and authoritarian. I can grit my teeth on those. I cannot grit my teeth on this one. It’s a very large academy, gives the impression so far that “we are always right and totally trustworthy” and others will have it wrong or lie. Please help. How best to approach a school that seems terrified of giving an inch, (whilst it simultaneously encroaches the fuck and takes miles) to get an outcome that will make my child safer out of school.

If you’ve read this far, please help. I also believe from what I’ve seen so far that if I raise this, the school will frequently check my daughter’s bag. I am willing to now break the rules on this, but obviously can’t keep replacing mobiles and she shouldn’t have to be punished by school for it either.

I don't think I'd be too happy with someone chasing down my child and taking their phone surely that's no one's business outside of school.

They tried this no phone thing in some schools here in Ireland but they didn't take into account that most schools have ebooks 😂

I've had kids go through school and tbh they were handy to be able to contact each other especially with all the extra curricular activities now, it wasn't the same in my day as everyone just went home after school so if you didn't turn up your mam knew something was wrong.

Our school bus tickets are online too, no physical ticket unless you're using a leap card and I think you top that up online but a lot of the schools you can walk to.

There's good and bad reg phones in school, ours all just ended up signing them in and out, more work for secetaries but kids could access them during school for books and emergencies. It's hard to know what's right but all you can do is give new things a try and if it's not working then address it with your concerns.

Reading all this and all the bollocks about uniform as well I am extemely glad my children weren’t educated in England. What a complete waste of everyone’s time and effort instead of focusing on actual education.

My son’s school went phone free last year. No overreach, no drama.

In school, absolutely fine.
The moment the school day is ended and children leave the school premises it ceases to be the school's issue.

As for 'no phones at school' - that depends on the school and how children get there.

My child has a long bus journey and sometimes the buses are unreliable.
The bus service provider ONLY offer e-tickets. So my child has to have a phone to scan their ticket for their daily journey.

They can also use their phone to let me know if they're delayed on the way to/from school, and so I can let the school know if there is an anticipated problem with punctual arrival (school can check and verify the delay if they wish). This was really useful a few months ago when there was a serious accident on the road they were on. The bus got caught up behind it. I would have been worried sick that something had happened if my child hadn't been able to contact me.

I should add that I am fully in favour of no phones being used in school time on the school site whilst pupils are at school to learn. If that means putting them in lockers/pouches then all good - on the understanding that those storage methods are guaranteed secure.

And I bet none of our DC know their parents phone numbers. This is something we must drum into them.

When we did have landlines growing up, we were taught the number.

I still remember my DGMs and she passed 3 years ago.

This.

Or, in the short term if there's stuff going on, make arrangements for your child to be dropped off/collected.

I'd love to drop some of these no phone adults into situations they expect children to be in without phone, texts, messaging, maps application or an internet browser.

To be fair I have worked with teachers who would create a fuss outside school, any large group of people includes some fringe types.
I worked in schools in many capacities for many years including Head of year and Sendco, I would agree with the poster who said advise her to switch off her phone and smuggle it and dont blab it aroun. Tell her very seriously if it is discovered and she is sanctioned, which no doubt will be a detention or a day off lessons in internal exclusion, that she just needs to do it. And then dont communicate with the school about the sanction.
This isnt a school rule so there is no point in getting emotional invested in it. If she is of secondary school age she will be aware of how life isnt fair. And if she isnt she needs to know now Im afraid as many many aspects of secondary school are very unfair.

You wouldn’t drop a child into a car, presumably? A phone is an adult tool, like a car. There is an age limit on driving because that’s the age we are deemed responsible enough to use a car safely. Smart phones should be the same.

No school said they would chase someone in the street outside of school hours and wrench their property from their hand by force. That's illegal.

I think I speak for the majority of teachers here when I say we have better things to do on the way home than chase kids down and snatch phones off them

If it were me Id be either writing a detailed letter to Head explaining what happened or asking for a face to face conversation explaining your child's particular problem.

Agreed.

So long as phones aren't seen during the school day at all I think this is perfectly acceptable.

At 8yo that was a massive error by the school to let him leave the premises and you should have taken them to task over this.

This really tickled me too. Absolutely made up.

give your kid a brick phone and get them to hide it in the bottom of their bag if you’re really that genuinely worried. Staff have better things to do in their busy days than randomly check a child’s bag to uncover a brick phone. The melodrama is absolutely not needed.

As someone who works in a school, the removal of smart phones has been a wonderful, liberating game-changer for pupils and staff. If you want your child to have a phone on them at all times, home-schooling is an option open to all.

Not so long ago that no one had a mobile

In no way is it believable that teachers chase kids in cars to snatch phones!
Follow the rules or find a new school.

Yesterday, my DD got lost on her way to school (we had done the journey together a few times), then there was a nutter shouting about school children on her train on her way home, which terrified her. Both times, having a phone gave us a way of helping her to navigate the situation. She does have SEN, which makes all if the logistics of getting to her new school harder for her. Having a phone with proper tracking, not just an airtag, is essential for her journey to and from school, both to keep her safe and make her feel safe.

Teachers have no authority over children when they are not on school property. Teachers are just members of the general public.

They cannot demand a child’s phone when not on school property. If they insist and take it anyway then that is theft.

You wouldn’t let a bus driver or skip keeper take your child’s phone away, so why are you letting teachers do this when your child isn’t on school property?

Ah, they’ll be fine. They built resilience as they had to navigate the world on their own! They survived as young people, they will survive now!

Or, they will just go up to a stranger and ask for help. Or pop into a vape, Turkish barber or print front for dealers shop to ask for help. Or walk ten miles in the rain like the good old days while their family worry where they are (oh, hang on, we aren’t supposed to worry, that’s even more harmful to a child development than a phone), all while bloody loving it as that’s what they had to do as a kid! Bonus points if you get a pervert following you and harassing you with no means to call for help. Surviving that just makes you stronger.

Probably wouldn’t go out without their smart phone though, eh?

As an aside, post on here “I am really worried, it’s 6pm, there is a storm and my 13 year old was supposed to return from school by 4” and you’ll get a barrage of people calling you a shit parent as they had no way to contact you, not people saying, “don’t worry - that’s damaging, you don’t need to know where they are all the time. They are probably walking home. It’s 5 miles in hazard conditions? Great. They will survive and be resilient.”

It seems to me that reasonable policies are difficult to enforce because so many kids are resistant to any form of rules or discipline.
When my DC were in primary school they were allowed a basic phone, but the phones were stored in named bags in the office on arrival and collected when leaving. But the pupils were generally well behaved and co-operative.
Secondary school, phones allowed but the rule was that if seen they would be confiscated. Again, rules were adhered to.

Pretty difficult ultimately these days when most everything is an app or QR code or screenshot.

A mobile phone isn't a safety device.
You are being hysterical and your reaction will feed down to your dd.

You need to calm down!

Speaking as a teacher, I laughed aloud at the "teachers chasing them down and snatching the phone". In no part of god's green earth will ANY teacher be doing that.

First of all, from 3:30 (or whatever time the school finishes) the school has no responsibility for, or hold over, any child. Unless they are on school-organised transport.

Secondly, a teacher driving home won't give a rats ass if they see a kid they know on a phone. I would, a) not care and b) not waste valuable time out of my own evening to pull my car over, chase and argue with a teenager. And c) would just pretend I hadn't seen them. Who is going to know and/or prove it?

Thirdly, from a legal standpoint, it just wouldn't work. At best, as the parent, you could get the teacher charged with theft, and at worst, assault. No teacher in their right mind is going to risk their career over a kid with a phone outside of school hours.

Did this "chase them down and snatch" come in some official paperwork from the school? Or just word of mouth from your child? If it was written down somewhere, I'm sure your local newspaper would LOVE that story. But I think it's more likely that someone said it in jest, and your DD has misinterpreted.

Either way, just instruct your DD to have it fully turned off and in the bottom of her bag. Maybe in an old pencil case or something.

Our school doesn't allow smart watches and it's a half hour detention for infringements.

Nothing to do with being terrified of life. It’s just there in case you need it. Knowing you could use a pay phone in the past didn’t mean we were terrified either.