AIBU to ask for advice on how to overturn a school decision - quickly

[Canwehavesesomesanityback]

What can I do to overturn a school decision - quickly? It is regarding mobile phones. The school has introduced a no phones at school policy. If a teacher is on a journey home and sees a child on a phone, they will “chase them down the street and snatch it out of their hand” as it shows they had a phone in school.

There was a horrible and frightening incident fairly near school today. So whilst school were busying themself with catching children out for taking a blazer off at a bus stop or using a phone after school, my child was involved in something bloody terrifying. I’ve been up half the night. It should involve the police, but we are not going down that road and time would have been of the essence anyway. My husband was driving about a minute away from her at the time, happily oblivious. I’m shaken up, but also feel in an impossible situation.

This occurred close to school, with a couple of friends, in daylight with people nearby. Her journey also includes much larger elements where she’s on her own and secluded. I’m really fucking angry and revolted too (huge understatement) that the school have the power to dictate the removal of a tool for use outside of school, compromising my child’s safety.

As a bare minimum, I want a brick phone allowed in school - turned off, handed in, confiscated if used or seen - I don’t care. I want them to find a way that the other 97% of schools do, so that my child has access to a phone, even if it’s just a brick phone, should she need it out of school.

They have lots of draconian rules, appear very rigid and authoritarian. I can grit my teeth on those. I cannot grit my teeth on this one. It’s a very large academy, gives the impression so far that “we are always right and totally trustworthy” and others will have it wrong or lie. Please help. How best to approach a school that seems terrified of giving an inch, (whilst it simultaneously encroaches the fuck and takes miles) to get an outcome that will make my child safer out of school.

If you’ve read this far, please help. I also believe from what I’ve seen so far that if I raise this, the school will frequently check my daughter’s bag. I am willing to now break the rules on this, but obviously can’t keep replacing mobiles and she shouldn’t have to be punished by school for it either.

Most of these not applicable to a kid on the way home from school! There’s a very small risk of being followed (very small) but a greater risk of being bullied/groomed online or being mugged for your phone.

I dont think theres a way to overturn the decision of the school regarding no phones in school.
I do think you could ask for clarity on the policy and discuss any concerns,EG: teachers chasing children and grabbing phones outside school premises seems unreasoanble.

Thankfully our school has gone for the phone locker option. They can't do an outright ban as many children arrive on public buses. Buying a monthly/termly pass requires an app on a smart phone. Yes 20 years ago you didn't need a smartphone for school but also could buy a stupid paper ticket for a month directly on the bus.

Part of the process for getting permission to have a phone locker is explaining why you need one. Bus pass on phone is an automatically accepted reason.

Bold of you to assume teachers give a shit after school to chase down a student to take their phone

You really need to ask yourself how a phone would have helped.

Even if she was assaulted, saw someone else being assaulted a phone is going to do nothing until the incident is over.

And when the incident is over she can run to a shop/a house/an adult and tell them what happened.

Phones are usually just an illusion of safety.

This. I certainly wouldn't be chasing students either in or out of school.

Headteacher here. We have the same 'no phones at all' policy. No smart phones, smart watches, no brick phones. But there have been a couple of pupils who travel far and have complicated journeys. Their parents have contacted us, explained their reasoning and we have made reasonable adjustments for these individuals. My advice is to contact your school, explain what's happened to your child, worries around this happening again and how having a brick phone would reassure everyone in the short term following this incident. Don't rage against the machine and try to overturn policy. Just ask for a reasonable adjustment for your child with clear reasons.

Chuckling here that you saw the word 'survival' and changed it to 'travelling to school' in order to argue against it!

If your daughter was involved in an incident that “should involve police” then involve the police.

This will actually be your best leverage to get the school to change its policy

If you want to break the rules, which it sounds like having had a scare you do. Get a "prison" phone, they are about an inch to 2 inches long (amazon will have them) and I'll leave your imagination to why they are so small, then hide in the bottom of a bag of sanitary towels or something which looks innocuous. Hopefully if she doesn't draw attention to it or use it unless in an emergency, then it will never be found

It won’t prevent the incident but the DC could have called for help - OP says her DH was driving nearby at the time.

I’m no fan of phones in schools but given that we used to have public phone boxes which have long gone there is a place for phones for DC who have a longer journey home. Mine lived ten minutes walking distance from school but some of their friends had bus journeys or 45 minute walks.

I think you need to try and take the emotion out of it.

I suggest you do report the incident to the police and get a crime reference number.

Then I would outline the facts of the incident to the school and go on to explain what the worst case scenario could be.

Then I would state the case as to how having a phone on the school journey would have improved the situation. I’d explain what I see as the safeguarding risk involved and ask them to reconsider the policy for phones on the journey. Or to outline an alternative method to ensure your daughter’s safety.

If they still disagreed I’d make a secret pouch in her bag and hide a brick phone in it. And usually I’m an absolute rule follower.

All these kids that have been abducted and murdered that might have turned out differently if they had had a phone. Not even then?

You can't be serious!

All the evidence shows kids are far more at risk with them

you dont overturn school polity and certainly not when vast majority of of parents will approve of it

your description of teachers chasing and snatching on our way home is nuts we dont have the energy for that

change schools - give them a break

Of course not !
most people who are kidnapped , rsped and murdered. Rohipnoled had phones on them

If kids would keep off their phones then this wouldn't be such a hard line stance. If they simply had them on their person but kept on silent and in their pocket, not touched all day or on school premises, then rtheyd all have trhe ability to call for help in an emergency. The fact children are incapable of not touching it ( as its addictive and sadly now the societal norm) means the school has had to take the hard rule.

Less than zero chance that a teacher chased a child down the street and snatched a phone. Parents who blindly believe such hyperbole are part of the problem in schools.

I managed without one, my dc managed without one until 14 (both got one for 14th birthday) so unless it’s for a medical device you don’t need one

put a brick phone in her bag for emergencies
sew it into the lining secret pocket
disguise it as a bag of crisps

tell her to go a phone box or shop to use it in emergency

no need for any more drama or action

So encourage her not to follow a rule that’s in place for safety reasons?

Well quite

Total nonsense

They can insist no phones are brought out or used in school but their “rules” don’t extend to what people do en route to and from school.

I attended my nieces induction at secondary school last year. It was a week after starting. We were told that in that 1st week there were instant detentions given to a number of them because phones were pinging, ringing and notifying because the DC had been handed smartphones due to them starting secondary school that they didn’t know how to switch off or silence.

My niece said this happened to two girls in her class and of course there were tears. Not
a good start.

My child's school provides Yondr phone pouches. The kids have to put their phones in the pouch and it gets locked in the morning, and they can't unlock it until they exit the school building after school.

My child travels around London in buses and tubes and doesn’t have a phone. If you don’t like the school, move her. If her route to school isn’t safe, walk with her.
The largest danger to our child right now is social media and online bullying.

If any child, anyone really, has an issue, all they need to do is approach an adult eg in a shop and explain the problem and ask to make a call, of course we would help a child in need, unlike in the past calls are basically free. Dc do need to carry telephone numbers on them though, ideally learning their parents number off by heart as we did.

if a crime is committed you should report it