To think some people are just miserable for the sake of it?

[justsmileabitffs]

I’m on holiday in Milan. I have spent the day sightseeing and my hotel is right by the Duomo so I grabbed dinner there.

I was sat next to a table of five British women who did nothing but complain. The view wasn’t good enough, the drinks were too small, the drinks were too big (!), too sweet, too much ice. The food wasn’t “cute Italian food” (well, no shit Sherlock! You’re not going to get a little Italian nonna cooking you food at a tourist trap restaurant!), the KFC around the corner didn’t have what one woman wanted, just endless complaints.

AIBU to think some people just look for things to complain about?! You’re in Italy, in a gorgeous city, eating relatively cheap food! That should be enough to make them happy, no?

It’s just been soooo hot today, I spent most of the time on a sightseeing bus 🤣 I’m headed to the lakes tomorrow to see if it’s any cooler!

You never know what's going on in people's lives. And the people who aren't complaining in real life might be complaining online.

I agree. I think a lot of people on this site are like that, as well. Yesterday, I posted what was meant to be an uplifiting, fun thread. I had to ask for it to be taken down because so many people were moaning and deliberately twisting and nitpicking what I was saying. I think that some people take great joy in complaining and also in bringing others down. I try to feel sorry for people like that, as I reckon that their lives must be fairly miserable.

When I've had bad things going on in my life, the last thing I've wanted to do was whine and complain about trivia. Some people just enjoy being miserable!

I cared for a very young patient recently with cerebral palsy.. he couldn’t speak & could only just about wave one hand… but he smiled at me and waved his hand when I spoke to him, poor guy is totally reliant on others in order to just survive.
He would be entitled to moan 24/7 about his situation - if he was actually able to.

Meeting a person in that position does put your own difficulties into perspective & personally it has made me far more grateful for the abilities I do have.

I come across people who are worse off than me very often and it definitely has made me have a more positive attitude to my own life.

I did used to work with a colleague who was so negative though, she was extremely draining to be around. The glass was always half empty and she moaned for all the years I knew her! She even spent her retirement do moaning. It was such a shame as she was a healthy lady with a nice family. Yes I’m sure she had some problems, who doesn’t, but she was never ever happy and it was sad really.

I just don’t want to be like that. I did spend a few years in my early 30s with major depressive disorder & it took a while to find the right anti depressants - but I was sick of feeling suicidal all the time & like everything was dark. I really made an effort to get rid of that awful depression.

I think as a PP said, many people are actually living their lives low level depressed but if that’s the case they need prompting to try meds / cbt and deal with it.

But some people seem to actually find joy in misery! Every suggestion to improve things is met with negativity.

Op your right very draining. Our mother is negative. Sometimes I think its because has too much time to ponder about things.

Yes some people are like that.

Ask them which is their favourite Morrissey album!!

While I do try to have empathy with people like that, I also can't spend too much time around them. It is far too draining. It isn't enough for them to be miserable themselves, they have to try to make everyone else miserable as well. I have no time for it.

My sister is like this. She can never just enjoy something. There has to be something wrong or to complain about. I sometimes wonder whether she thinks there's some virtue in complaining. Like it's vulgar to enjoy yourself and he happy!

Mind you I also have a friend who is relentlessly positive and upbeat about everything. We were meeting at the weekend and the forecast was dire - I suggested an indoor activity but she thought it would be 'mega-fun' to have a walk in the rain then get cosy with a hot chocolate while we dry off and isn't rain AMAZING etc. Argh!

Balance is good 🤣

I didn’t complain about the queues! Just said I opted out of going up to the top of the duomo because of them, and chose a bus tour instead. Nowhere did I complain! I also didn’t complain about the heat. It’s been very hot, but that’s what I signed up for!!!

I am alone, got back to my Airbnb at about 6:30 after a full day of exploring and dinner. I went online for a little bit - is that okay? Must I totally turn my phone off the entire time I’m here?

It’s now 8am and I’m on social media as I get ready, is that allowed?! Need I ask for your permission for that too?!

What lake are you off to?
My mum's from Milan and my dad's from near lake Como 😊

If you are getting the train don't forget to validate your ticket! That often trips tourists up.

Off to como, I do all my tickets on my phone :)

You're hanging out with the wrong people!

I work with one. Every morning she comes in face like a slapped arse huffing and puffing waiting for me to ask what's wrong. This week's complaints:

1. Her hairdresser is retiring (the hairdresser is in her 70s)
2. Her husband bought her a Jo Malone candle to cheer her up but she already has that one
3. Her mum is going on holiday so she will have t wash her kids clothes for a week as normally her mum does it.

There's a hole in the wall piadina place near the Duomo - la Piada du Una Volta (I just looked it up) - that is really nice, although they've no seating. I don't know that piadinas count as cute though. Milan's not really a very cute city! It's got very sort of pressed and hardworking vibes I find, maybe that's what was putting them off.

I think some people deal with culture shock by moaning like this. I don't know if it is a harmless pressure release that allows them to get on and enjoy the rest of the holiday though, or a sign that they should choose different holidays! But people will have a go at you if you book 2 weeks of an all inclusive and then chill your life by the pool, which is a shame, because sometimes you just genuinely need a rest and nothing else.

No?

Some people just have a really negative outlook on life, always looking to be offended, assuming the worst, nothing is ever good enough. I do feel sorry for them as it can’t be a nice way to live. Perspective is really important in life I think.

It’s a statement of fact - it was ridiculously long, which is why I chose not to do it!

I saw a lot of people walking with bags from there yesterday!

Hi @justsmileabitffs
Whingers are all around, as are happier or more content people.

For balance of argument, you had been seated next to the whingers. If on your own, you are more likely to overhear other conversations...

In that restaurant, there would have been countless content diners AND whingers - a whole mix - whose conversation you did not hear.

So whilst whingers can make you glad that you have a sunnier outlook (as do I), it isn't the full story. A random seating left to a random experience and if people are judged for their view on where and what they want to eat (and you get satisfaction from that), carry on 😊). I hope you leave Milan with more than that x

Of course. Miserable is just a personality type lots of people have.

even Italian people!