To think some people are just miserable for the sake of it?

[justsmileabitffs]

I’m on holiday in Milan. I have spent the day sightseeing and my hotel is right by the Duomo so I grabbed dinner there.

I was sat next to a table of five British women who did nothing but complain. The view wasn’t good enough, the drinks were too small, the drinks were too big (!), too sweet, too much ice. The food wasn’t “cute Italian food” (well, no shit Sherlock! You’re not going to get a little Italian nonna cooking you food at a tourist trap restaurant!), the KFC around the corner didn’t have what one woman wanted, just endless complaints.

AIBU to think some people just look for things to complain about?! You’re in Italy, in a gorgeous city, eating relatively cheap food! That should be enough to make them happy, no?

I’m not really complaining. More trying to keep myself awake by being on my phone because I’m exhausted but need to wash my hair!

A lot of people suffer from a kind of low level depression. That then manifests as constant niggling and complaining. It’s striking how unhappy so many people truly are.

I have a friend like this and it got to the point it was affecting her marriage. I don’t think I’ve ever heard her just have a nice day, there’s always something to moan about.

Yeah it’s annoying. Some people just focus on the negative stuff all the time.

This is very true. It is quite sad really isn’t it?

And whose fault is it? Societies apparently.

I wake up every morning, do a quick mental evaluation, “I’m good”, I say and I am thankful for another day.

I’ve recently washed my hands of someone I’ve tolerated for the past 12 years as I can no longer listen to her (nor look at that miserable face).
In theory she’s well travelled but in practice she can relate nothing about anywhere she’s visited other than the negative effect on her. Rome - too hot, too many foreign people. Vienna - too cold, too far to walk.
Now they holiday four times a year at the same hotel in Lanzarote, never leaving, eating the British food on an all inclusive basis and still moan.

This is most women surely?

Ugh. Sounds like hell!

Did you go up on the roof of the Duomo. It is spectacular.

Lack of gratitude for things - worst ever quality. People always compare themselves to the better off, healthier, younger. They don't have the decency to compare themselves to those who are worse off, less healthy and older - people are infinitely stupid. I always remember my grandmother who said 'Can you believe it - we can just go and buy chocolate - just like that, for no reason, aren't we lucky?'

I bet those stupid 5 miserable morons did not compare themselves to Emma Bovary, who bought herself a map of Paris and 'travelled there daily by tracing the streets with her finger'.

Yep, my mum is a serial complainer, has been as long as I can remember. Loud too, she loves to create a scene.
Absolutely mortifyingly embarrassing.
And she wonders why only one of her kids will actually take her anywhere 🤭

One of the women who joined our group tour in Asia had a permanent scowl on her face, always disapproving, allergic to Asian food, had to have a mattress changed because it wasn't comfortable, hotels were up to her standard. It was very hard to make conversation with her and not feel utterly miserable too.

I felt sorry for her in the end, she'd splurged the cash sum on her teacher's pension on this holiday of a lifetime and she was utterly miserable - I'm guessing her pupils didn't miss her when she retired though - the poor buggers!

I'm really curious whether anyone's reading this and recognising themselves reflected in the anecdotes, or if these types are blind to their own negativity.

Anyone want to confess?

YANBU!!

I’ve found it’s often women over a certain age and of a certain class (often ones that don’t even work themselves).

It frustrates me because usually they have a really privileged lifestyle.

I grew up really poor and had a well off friend who would invite me places. At first I loved it as we went to restaurants and things (I never had enough to eat and home) but I stopped going in the end because her mum would sit there with a face like a slapped arse and pick at her food complaining about everything.
Even at my young age I felt so sorry for the waiters who she’d blame it on.

My mother is one of these. She's never happier than when she's got something to criticise or complain about. I have to admit, I used to do it too, when I was younger, because I thought it was normal and it's how you communicate with her. She gets quite crabby and annoyed if other people don't join in. I stopped when I met DH and he pointed it out. Now I find her miserable and exhausting.

I can’t stand people like that, they drain the life out of me, I avoid them like the plague.I would want to shake them and tell them how lucky they are, they should be enjoying each others company and embracing the Milan vibe, it’s stunning I don’t know how anyone could not be having a good time.I bet their Instagram posts don”t reflecting their whining.

Yes. I refuse to have anything to do with them...family included

I had a friend like this. I called her the one woman moan show. Nothing was ever good enough. She was draining to be around.
FFS - who goes to Italy to eat KFC!
I’ve just come back from Bologna and didn’t want to eat anything other than Italian. The food there is sublime. Totally recommend it Op

Some people actually get utility out of complaining and aren’t happy unless they have something to criticise. It’s ok for them, I suppose, but does affect those around them who aren’t of the same mindset.

I managed a whole team like this once. I was warned before I accepted the role that fixing any issues they had wouldn’t be gratefully received, as they’d then have to look for another problem. I didn’t believe this but he (guy who recruited me) was spot on!

I think it can get to be a habit with people.

I think there's also a strand of British social culture that narrates misery or hard situations with a quasi-puritanical satisfaction - eg references to WWII - and equates misery with seriousness and happiness with frivolity and being irresponsible. Possibly it's a hangover from more explicitly religious times.

I work with someone like this. Never stops moaning and really brings down the mood in the office.

Decided against it in the end as the queue for the lift was ridiculously long and I was feeling really funny in the heat! It’s been mega hot here today

We had a lucky break and didn’t have to queue very long. It was amazing, truly breath taking. I’m not the nimblest of people but the glory of it all made me not miss any of it.