AIBU to feel middle-class luxuries have become increasingly out of reach?

[cocobow]

I had to go to the local shopping centre the other day to pick up a click and collect for my husband, new work shirts so nothing fancy! I thought why not make an afternoon of it as I rarely go shopping and I could maybe get a coffee and cake and even treat myself to a little something as my birthday is coming up.

I loved some of the clothes in places like monsoon and seasalt but it was all way too expensive dresses were £80 to £100 or more same with skirts which seemed to start at £65 and I know that isn't even considered expensive today but for me it is! I went for a look in the sephora as I love skincare but again it was all really expensive. The queue for the till was full of school girls buying things I wouldn't be able to buy for myself!

To be fair they were probably there spending birthday money and probably aren't spending money like that all the time. I suppose it just feels like the goal posts on these admittedly luxury items have been moved since I was in my teens and early 20's when I imagined that by my 40's I'd be able to at least buy some of these things or buy nice clothes now and then. My husband and I both degree and post graduate educated and work in professional jobs but we have to prioritise bills, the kids and food over luxuries. To be fair we have no debt at all and we will save for an buy large purchases cash mostly but I admit to feeling a bit personally deprived at times! When my mum was my age she worked in a call centre part time in the evenings and would go round the shops most weekend and buy herself a new top or other item of clothes and exclusively used clarins skincare, I use the ordinary, cerave or boots and superdrug own brand mostly and my clothes come from charity shops. My parents were working class made good but their disposable income seemed to go a lot further than mine does. We don't even have a large mortgage.

DH and I recently looked at taking a short trip to London as a joint birthday present to each other but the cost was so expensive we seem to have quietly shelved the idea.

In the end I had a look in waterstones but even that was expensive, since when are paperbacks routinely £14.99! I never even had a coffee or bit of cake as the selection of cakes looked dry and unappetizing but would still have cost £10 in total.

Am I being unreasonable to think the cost of a middle class lifestyle with a few luxuries has had the goalposts moved by quite some amount?

No we are not. At least if you know you have to have insurance when something happens and you had a job you will promptly see someone and be helped. The NHS promises to help but then when something happens it just abandons you to an indeterminate waiting list. Sounds like you haven’t had to deal with it yet but trust me the NHS no longer works. It’s killing people. Id rather be bankrupt than dead.

You log into library computers with your card details these days so can't see anyone's search history. There are people who look at porn but they are few and far between and I rapidly asked to leave by staff when spotted.

I'd rather spend silly money on good quality naice things/ingredients from the farm shop etc and make and have them at home nowadays.

What I can make myself is a whole lot nicer than the shit served out usually.

The treat is the nice ingredients/components rather than going out. Admittedly I have to make it but that's the trade off.

What’s your household income OP? With a high mortgage, even good salaries seem high these days.

You can’t ignore the 08 crash which we never recovered from growth wise.

Housing costs are the reasons taxes are low on lower earners, our housing market is a mess and disproportionately penalises younger people.

Health insurance is reliant on having a job and not losing it, not having pre existing conditions and also comes with big bills on top of the insurance premiums which put families into huge debt.

That is what I am talking about though, I don't expect to be out shopping and getting coffee and cake out every week or month but maybe once a year in the run up to my birthday to maybe get a coffee out and buy myself something I can give to my husband to give to me for my birthday.

I don't know how you took my example of a rare trip to the shops where I was actually just running an errand and turned it into me somehow expecting to be out spending on luxuries on the regular.

Yeah it's shocking. Mortgage rates have climbed too. No help from the state what so ever. Every penny more you ea. is at 40% rate. Not fair.

I think you're confusing middle class with middle earner/income. Lots of people can still comfortably afford luxuries.

The NHS refusing to help has already stripped me of every penny I had circa £1300 a month in private treatment without insurance because their waiting list is so long We had to seek out help elsewhere.

I used to believe it was amazing too like you. Now I have seen it in action…

Me too! Who wants overpriced UP shit? Families weren’t wasting vast sums of money on this rubbish that never fills kids up anyway.

I wouldn't spend that! I wonder who is buying these things off new at full price in enough numbers to keep these shops going!

Haircuts are extortionate now. I used to pay 20 and it’s doubled in price since lockdown.
I hear what the op is saying though. I tend to try and find 99p kindle books and rarely buy new clothes.
I can’t buy Primark as they don’t do my size.
Everything is very expensive now and we have all allowed the big companies to royally screw us all over with their prices for insurance and everything else too.

I agree, the last time we ate out and it was in an Italian in out local area that is really highly reviewed. We were all totally unimpressed as the food was bland and I'm pretty sure the starters were straight from the freezer having been bought in. The pasta we make at home ourselves is so much nicer. I know a few local places where the food is nice but again we don't eat out or get takeaway very often at all although I see several of my neighbours getting Deliveroo several times a week.

I don't expect to be out shopping and getting coffee and cake out every week or month but maybe once a year in the run up to my birthday to maybe get a coffee out and buy myself something

I'm pretty frugal and don't buy takeaways coffees but I'm struggling to understand how you can be both be in FT jobs and debt free yet balk at the cost of a takeaway coffee and a mid-range dress once a year.

@the80sweregreat I've been cutting and colouring my own hair for over 6 years now. I probably do need a proper cut but the cost is shocking as you say.

I agree op, its shit.

I would like to think dresses cost 80 quid now because the seamstresses in India are getting paid a lot more than before, but that's probably not true.

I am sorry, but £100 is not expensive for a high-quality dress.

I clicked YABU but only because I am
mid 50s and it was like this decades ago . When I graduated my PhD in the mid 90s and taught in university I would see students wearing French connection clothes that I couldn’t afford. It was the start of loans kicking in and I think their logic was probably might as well be hung for a sheep as a lamb. It’s taken until now for me to be able to make purchases of clothes without worrying and that’s only because I paid off my mortgage though I still have a child to support!

I think late 90s to early 2020s prices came down for food, clothes and consumer goods and now they are going back up.

I don't think Seasalt and Monsoon are THAT middle class. They are on a par with White Stuff.

Sorry.

They might be compared to H&M and Zara, but they are still pretty near the lower end for clothes if you ignore M&S as well (and they aren't cheap- their cashmere this year is £99.)

I'd call middle class brands like Me&Em, maybe Boden, whose prices are creeping up (not much under £100 unless you're talking T shirts), Jigsaw, NBY, The White Company (find me a jumper for much under £100), Mint Velvet (ditto) etc.

Many many people on the thread saying the same thing that they now earn more than ever and can afford less then they every could before even when they were much worse off. Prices for even basics have shot up leaving many of us unable to afford the occasional luxuries we used to get or our parents took for granted.

I get that, which is why I don't buy daily coffees. But once a year?

Well in America you’d be paying $$$$ for medical insurance each month( assuming you had a job)
Premiums are only part of the total cost. On top of monthly payments, you’d also face:

• Deductibles: The amount paid before insurance kicks in, often averaging over $1,500 for single plans.
• Copays and Coinsurance: Flat fees or percentages for doctor visits and prescriptions.
• Out-of-Pocket Spending: Average annual extra costs add another $1,327 for single coverage and over $6,100 for families

And then there is the extortionate cost of medication. No free prescriptions of £10 prescriptions there .Diabetics struggle to pay for insulin.

It isn't perfect but the NHS is a gazillion times better and we are hugely fortunate to have it.

I don't disagree but to me they are bougie, especially white stuff. I did get a lovely Boden dress in a charity shop for £5 recently that looked unworn so there are the occasional wins!