AIBU to feel middle-class luxuries have become increasingly out of reach?

[cocobow]

I had to go to the local shopping centre the other day to pick up a click and collect for my husband, new work shirts so nothing fancy! I thought why not make an afternoon of it as I rarely go shopping and I could maybe get a coffee and cake and even treat myself to a little something as my birthday is coming up.

I loved some of the clothes in places like monsoon and seasalt but it was all way too expensive dresses were £80 to £100 or more same with skirts which seemed to start at £65 and I know that isn't even considered expensive today but for me it is! I went for a look in the sephora as I love skincare but again it was all really expensive. The queue for the till was full of school girls buying things I wouldn't be able to buy for myself!

To be fair they were probably there spending birthday money and probably aren't spending money like that all the time. I suppose it just feels like the goal posts on these admittedly luxury items have been moved since I was in my teens and early 20's when I imagined that by my 40's I'd be able to at least buy some of these things or buy nice clothes now and then. My husband and I both degree and post graduate educated and work in professional jobs but we have to prioritise bills, the kids and food over luxuries. To be fair we have no debt at all and we will save for an buy large purchases cash mostly but I admit to feeling a bit personally deprived at times! When my mum was my age she worked in a call centre part time in the evenings and would go round the shops most weekend and buy herself a new top or other item of clothes and exclusively used clarins skincare, I use the ordinary, cerave or boots and superdrug own brand mostly and my clothes come from charity shops. My parents were working class made good but their disposable income seemed to go a lot further than mine does. We don't even have a large mortgage.

DH and I recently looked at taking a short trip to London as a joint birthday present to each other but the cost was so expensive we seem to have quietly shelved the idea.

In the end I had a look in waterstones but even that was expensive, since when are paperbacks routinely £14.99! I never even had a coffee or bit of cake as the selection of cakes looked dry and unappetizing but would still have cost £10 in total.

Am I being unreasonable to think the cost of a middle class lifestyle with a few luxuries has had the goalposts moved by quite some amount?

Totally agree.
Thought I'd get to the age I am and not think oh that's a tenner I'll leave that.
I'm not bad off and can afford what it is that I need and generally want but it's rediculous.

I am pretty humph that I can now afford considerably less fun than when I was on nmw 20 years ago.... Yes, my bills have gone up but % to wage not THAT much

I have less disposable income now despite earning more money & buy cheap, own brands etc.

I do save money every month but it’s a conscious effort now whereas it was easy before. And even I didn’t save there isn’t enough money to spend on eating out, new clothes, beauty treatments etc.

Inflation is shocking though & frozen tax bands.

28k in the mid 00s is the equivalent to 51k now and you would be pulled into the 40% tax bracket

People obviously are able to afford this stuff though as the shops are still going.

It had never ever occurred to me to pay £100 odd on a bloody dress, but I do know a lot of people that do

I think many who think they are middle class, or have ever been, are misguided about what it means to be middle class.

An £80 top is not middle class.

If you recall, Kate Middleton (as she was known then) came from a 'middle class' family. They lived in a large, detached home in a prestigious area and send her to an elite university.

Her tops weren't £80. Although she was labelled as 'middle class' most of us would view her family to be extremely wealthy.

I think most of Britain is, at best, lower class and there are some upper lower class. Most people are living in poverty or just the basic standard of other countries like Australia/USA etc.

You will find this to be true if you travel and see the very shocking differences in the standards of livings between Britain and other 'wealthy' countries.

Britain is not a wealthy country nor does it have a wealthy population. Once we understand that, then we probably won't feel so bad when we can't afford that 'middle class' top for £80 and just accept our Primark polyester equivalent at £20.

On the other hand, accept that inflation for substandard tops at £80 is what the going rate is now for cheap clothing.

It's not a class thing. It's inflation with stagnant wages where the poor are becoming poorer.

I agree. Five years ago, would go out for dinner semi-regularly. Dropped down to weekend brunch, then coffee and a pastry once in a while for the kids.

I was in a cafe (a fancy one admittedly) yesterday and got a takeaway coffee and a pain au chocolat to share with my kids. It came to nearly £10.

I just can't be bothered with it any more.

I feel that even basics are out of reach. Just the food shop drains my account and I spend all week worrying that it won't last. I earn more now than I ever did before, but have never felt so financially fragile. I used to be able to pop things in my trolley on a whim, but now I have to stick to the list.

I buy clothes from Seasalt and places like that but would never pay full price, because it's the sort of shop that styles don't change year on year, probably for non fashionable people like me who just like reasonable quality, I get quite nice things in the sale or their eBay outlet store.

But 40 years ago my middle class mum wouldn’t have been going into town to buy pricey tops, books and expensive skincare with coffee out- just because. We all used the library, she bought M&S clothes when she actually needed them and we bought doughnuts to take home. Skincare was oil of Ulay. People now think they should just be able to fritter money as if it’s an entitlement.

I don't go into town if I can help it. I find it makes me sad to see things I would like to try or read and realise it is a quarter of the weekly food shop (mainly books). Clothes are far more expensive with cheaper material and bad cuts than they were 20 years ago.

I dread to think what it will be like in Winter with the fuel and energy price rises.

In general I think you are right but most skincare in a rip off. If it worked it’d be on prescription. But

The country is broke, wages compared to other countries are pitiful and the Government confiscates a shit ton in taxation. There is definitely a cost of Government problem in the UK. We are generally quite poor by international standards. Countries like Poland and Ireland are racing ahead of us.

And yet every cafe is full, shops have been busy over the summer, enormous online queues for sport or concert tickets, huge music festivals, brand new cars everywhere, airports are so busy they are desperate to expand etc etc

Exactly - why go into town when a single scoop ice cream for the kids is £7 each!
I am scared to take the kids in in case they see things and then want them, which feels terrible!

I think it's partly because there are so many sales, cashback and general offers and discounts these days.

So the official prices are higher, some people pay that, and the company gets the money to offset all the people who find ways of getting it cheaper.

I’ve always had plenty of money but never had facials and stick to my shopping list. It’s a habit worth having. Treats from decades ago have now become every day spends. I think people are having to scale back but from a very high level of expectation.

I feel like this too.

I do think we should all make use of free things more (libraries, parks, galleries). I'm bad for not doing it myself but the amenities are there. There are also a lot of little side jobs out there for those that have the time (I know not everyone does).

True I hear all the time about the cost of living but just take a walk down a small town high street. Coffee shops and cafes full of people ( often mums with small kids and the elderly during the day) then of an evening the pubs restaurants etc are still popular.

Many nice cars about also

I do think agree that at one time being a professional with a degree and or post grad in a professional job did mean you were middle class and could expect a certain standard of living to rich but you could afford some luxuries much like my mum who could afford nice things on a relatively much lower wage than I have now. These days even if you have all that you are still poor but just not as poor as the very poor.

An £80 dress from Monsoon would likely not be touched with a barge pole by a wealthy person but its still a think twice or thrice purchase for people who are in the top 10% of earners in the UK.

I think when you’ve got kids at home luxuries like this are deprioritised. When the kids leave home you then have the extra money for them. The age people have kids has moved later so people think by 40s they should have this spare post kids money but that’s more 50s now.

The country is becoming poorer. The state sucks vast sums out of the economy, where it would otherwise be spent productively, and spends it ineffectively on our behalf in a vast and unreformed public sector, and on its client voting class which is dependent on state handouts. We are stuck in this doom loop until we have a government that lives within its means and lets people who earn money keep it and spend it.

This.

We are very comfortable but I’d never dream of buying high end cosmetics or extortionate items of clothing. I never would have. I’m not sure when it became the norm for people to expect these things. My DDs complain about the cost of living and how unfair it is, but they think nothing of buying Kiehl’s skincare products or paying £150 for a pair of trainers!

Oh and the proliferation of delivery guys bring all the online shopping and takeaways to people's doors, even in my relatively working class area. I know a lot of the shopping is cheap Chinese rubbish but there's a hell of a lot of it.