AIBU to keep our lights up despite neighbour complaining?

[AutumnLighting]

We moved into our house just before Christmas last year. We are one of 6 houses on a lane in an u shape and our house is directly opposite one of the other houses. All of the houses are set back so we are not close to the houses opposite.

When we moved in last year, we put up lights on our house and in two of our trees at the front of our house as well as 2 nutcrackers and a Christmas wreath on the door. Nothing garish, just white lights. Every time we saw the neighbours opposite they would comment on the lights and decorations. They said things like that’s is a lot of lights, did you leave any in the shop for anyone else, we certainly can’t miss you etc. We took the lights down in January.

This is now our first autumn in the house and my husband has put up some lights along the front of the house, a garland around the front door and a wreath on the door. We went out for the evening and have come home to a note from the neighbour opposite which said she doesn’t like the lights, none of the past neighbours have ever put them up and that the lights will give her migraines like the ones we put up at Christmas did. She would like us to remove the lights.

How do we respond to this? My husband thinks we just ignore it but I said she will talk to us when we see her if we don’t go over and talk to her about it. He said he’ll tell her not to look at the lights. What would you say? We obviously plan to put the lights up for Christmas again this year so that isn’t going to go down well either.

We know she has moaned about other things to some of the other neighbours like their grandchildren playing outside on their bikes so she seems to be a moaner.

It may sound petty on your neighbour's part, but I'm in a similar situation with my neighbour. I try not to think about it and ignore, but honestly they are really intrusive. If I'm in my back garden when it's dark, I see the lights blazing, and they are dazzling every time we come into and out of the house.
It's hard to judge Op's exact situation, but the lights might well be really intrusive for the neighbour .

Take them down OP they sound awful.
Can you get some solar lights for the driveway instead (if you must)
Christmas light should be on a timer to go off at 9/10 pm also.

Why do you bother when your kids are grown?

So it's nice for you? Do you not care at all about light pollution and the negative impacts on wildlife as long as it looks nice for you for the few moments you see them when you come home. No wonder the planet is doomed.

"Autumn" is not a holiday. It doesn't need to be illuminated.

I think festooning the outside of your house is very "look at me! Me me me!", but I accept that that's not how everybody feels.

A garland around the door, a wreath ON the door and fairy lights…on September 1st?? It was 23 degrees here today.

It all sounds really naff. My guess that’s why she’s really complaining.

A man in the house behind us was doing some work and put one of those incredibly bright lights up in the room to do DIY work late at night. I remember panicking as I looked out from my kitchen window and thinking how it would literally be impossible to go in the garden if he kept doing it. It was like one of those floodlights from Colditz !!!!! Gortunayely it only lasted a few days. My point is that lights can be a bit likebmental torture so I'd be a bit more considerate. Xmas is ok but at other times. Really ? You're not a pub garden.

My opposite neighbours put up blue lights in December

Mine too. Obviously can't see them with the curtains closed but every time I have to leave the house they blind me in the dark, they're so bright.
And to another pp, yes, very bright lights can and do give people migraines.
I'm one of them.

Nor had I, but I just assumed that they are "lights she put up for autumn" and that sufficed for me.

I think some posters asked the question simply to say that lights for autumn are not really a thing, so it's a stupid idea. Which I agree with, although it's a bit disingenuous to pretend you can't work it out.

Yep and as the weather heats up the lovely bats who control the mosquito population disappear...because of the heat but also because of these stupid lights

I imagine they’re an autumn themed wreath and garland, not Christmas! Have to say, I’m not a fan of flashing lights, but I think it’s a bit of a reach to suggest that they, much less static ones, are intrusive to neighbours, unless the neighbours have very thin, unlined curtains and are sitting in the dark, or deliberately looking out of their windows after dark in order to be offended. If it’s still light outside, then lights don’t really impinge. If it’s after dark, most people will have curtains drawn and room lights on, and be getting in with their lives, so again, outside lights attached to other houses won’t be intrusive.

Even if you have them on
static, there is a flashing strobe effect from the wind moving trees! I sympathise with your neighbour, I got a migraine while out running through trees on a sunny day.

Omg. Don’t have flashing lights outside your house at Christmas. Lights- yes. But not flashing. That is so anti social.
it’s unkind as well. Even with black out blinds those lights can be an annoyance.
And awful for wildlife.

OK so she's really complaining that she thinks you're bringing down the tone of the street!
Flashing Christmas lights might be annoying but set up as you've described, unlikely to be causing her migraines (I get flashing light induced migraines so I'm an expert 😂). Depending on how much you care about keeping the peace you could tell her you'll not have flashing lights this year.
I'd tell her to jog on.

There is a form of epilepsy which triggered by types of lighting. A colleague of mine suffers with this and can no longer drive as a result. She is absolutely fine with strobe lights but is affected by other lighting. It is a real thing that I imagine might present in a form of migraine,

And who could blame her? Fake foliage wreaths and fairy lights in September are tacky as hell.

Anyone here complaining, have you heard of blackout curtains or blinds ??

I don’t mind a pretty soft warm light and would love looking at that type of lights in your trees as the nights become darker. Reminds me of winter in Sweden with warm lights in the windows everywhere.

I would hate coloured or flashing lights and would be very very annoyed at lights flashing into my house.

Lights are terrible for wildlife- look it up. humans stress wildlife enough as it is, with habitat destruction, pollution, traffic, pesticides- why add to this? It is so sad.

Yes.

Why do people just assume they can do as they please? Under the Environmental Protection Act 1990, artificial light from a property can be classified as a statutory nuisance if it unreasonably and substantially interferes with the use or enjoyment of a home, or injures health. Councils can issue an abatement notice if neighbours complain about some light-polluting airhead who thinks of nothing but themselves.

Light pollution is a real issue in the UK. Lights at nighttime are bad for wildlife and in your case bad for neighbourly relations.
Can you compromise and reduce the amount and switch them off at 8.30pm?

The vote is evenly split. I’ll go and see them and see what they say. I am happy to have the Christmas ones not flashing at all, but the ones currently up don’t flash and aren’t very bright at all so I’m not hopeful.

My son saw another neighbour in the pub tonight who also lives opposite us and next door to the ones who are moaning. He works shifts and apparently they moan about him waking them up going to work. He said they moaned when he changed his fence that joined their garden as they didn’t like it. He told my son to tell us to ignore them. I think it’s going to be a tricky conversation as they seem to be chronic complainers but I’ll try for good neighbourly relations.🤞

There is a road on the outskirts of the village that has had a war going on about this for years!

One faction is anti lights and newer inhabitants (if the FB posts are anything to go by about "newcomers") are pro. The words "cheap" "common" and "American" have been used! Its a very des res road (well according to the anti brigade) with "standards", its certainly very expensive for the area.

I dont know about others but my sister and I have it as our December entertainment every year. The pro lot seem to be ramping it up year on year just to annoy the anti lot. MASSIVE distance between houses (60 to 100 yards ish), most with big hedges. It seems to be mainly the principle!

Because it doesn't get dark till 9pm and we have had some nice sunsets

I would beg you to just have a motion-operated warm-coloured security lantern or two in the garden. Knock yourself out with wreaths and gourds and seasonal foot mats or whatever. But the lights are bad for wildlife and whilst you think they are cosy welcoming, I can see why other think they look a bit tacky and find them irritating. It’s only just September so that will be half a year of lighting your garden every evening if you keep it up until the days lengthen again! That would drive me nuts.