AIBU to keep our lights up despite neighbour complaining?

[AutumnLighting]

We moved into our house just before Christmas last year. We are one of 6 houses on a lane in an u shape and our house is directly opposite one of the other houses. All of the houses are set back so we are not close to the houses opposite.

When we moved in last year, we put up lights on our house and in two of our trees at the front of our house as well as 2 nutcrackers and a Christmas wreath on the door. Nothing garish, just white lights. Every time we saw the neighbours opposite they would comment on the lights and decorations. They said things like that’s is a lot of lights, did you leave any in the shop for anyone else, we certainly can’t miss you etc. We took the lights down in January.

This is now our first autumn in the house and my husband has put up some lights along the front of the house, a garland around the front door and a wreath on the door. We went out for the evening and have come home to a note from the neighbour opposite which said she doesn’t like the lights, none of the past neighbours have ever put them up and that the lights will give her migraines like the ones we put up at Christmas did. She would like us to remove the lights.

How do we respond to this? My husband thinks we just ignore it but I said she will talk to us when we see her if we don’t go over and talk to her about it. He said he’ll tell her not to look at the lights. What would you say? We obviously plan to put the lights up for Christmas again this year so that isn’t going to go down well either.

We know she has moaned about other things to some of the other neighbours like their grandchildren playing outside on their bikes so she seems to be a moaner.

Edited by MNHQ to add a Cancel The Cheque Klaxon: this thread has moved on quite a lot so it's worth reading through all the OP's posts before replying

This!

Two little bullying pieces of shit!
I'd report that to the police even if your husband won't. Absolutely disgusting people.

I'm sorry OP. They should like neighbours from hell xxx

I would 100% report to the police. Fuck them. How dare they speak to your DH like that.

Sorry you have such awful neighbours. They should feel the weight of consequences.

I'm not keen on flashing lights, but on this occasion, as the racist neighbours are so unpleasant, can I recommend a thing we bought a few years ago when the DC were tiny - it projected snow falling down the side of our house, very beautiful huge snowflakes but it was undeniably a bit tacky! Or maybe your DH's or neighbours' heritage has specific lighting rituals...we used to go all out for Diwali with the rest of the street in our previous house, just beautiful...

Yeah, they're mad.

The trouble with people who moan about things in general is it's hard to sympathise when they might have a legitimate reason. I'd explain that to them if you speak again.

I doubt it will make them reflect on how they've made a rod for their own backs, but I'd enjoy pointing it out.

I'm with the neighbour on this one as regards light pollution.

What, you're racist and knock on neighbours doors at 7am to shout at them?

We’ve had a good laugh about it but what the fuck?!

A good laugh? How childish.

They might be genuinely adversely affected by your lights. You say they're not, but you are not in a position to know that for sure. Personally I'd take them at their word and just get rid of the lights. I don't need them to live.

I hear you. My neighbour is so bored she jumps on the slightest annoyance, the tree branch touching her wall.

We cut it right back. My bird feeder to be moved to the other side of the garden. We done that.
Having the house re wired and updating kitchen over the years were major priorities for her.

We lived in terraced houses that are close to a century old.
In the past I would foolishly talk to her if she was in the garden, she would ask very personal questions, after the re wiring complaints, I told her she was very unreasonable and a nosy person, we only say hello in passing now. Leaving the door open so she can continue complaining but shut enough not to have to chat with her.

Did you read the update from another neighbour? This family enjoy irritating neighbours. These are fresh neighbours for her to annoy.

Your neighbours sound like vile racists:
good for you both on keeping your cool & yes I’d report too.
and your lights sound like exactly the sort of Christmas cheer that is lacking in their lives.

Nah, initially I felt sorry for the neighbours but fuck them. So sorry you and your husband have had to deal with that. Grey rock them, they are not worth your time or energy.

I agree that you should report this right away, so there's a record of their awful behaviour towards you, because I wouldn't be suprised either if they try to gather 'evidence' that you're being a nuisance, when actually they're the ones harassing you and making life difficult. Let the police know what they're like and the racist remarks they've made.

I'm sorry you and your family have to deal with this💐

Mine kept them up, constantly flashing, for months after last Christmas. Drove us nuts. Said it was because winter was dreary... but then had their curtains/blinds closed and couldn't see them anyway? So I'm not sure who it was supposed to cheer up...🤔 I'm sure the birds trying to roost loved it...not.

Light pollution is a real thing OP.

You need to read the latest update.

Laughing is not childish btw.

...as regards light pollution and sleep disturbance. Commented before reading all the updates. The behaviour of the neighbours since is awful.

The lights don't flash and they aren't on overnight. Sounds reasonable to me.

Oh no I've upset the bat police. I don't know why garden lights don't come with a bat warning to be honest. Seems a bit irresponsible by the manufacturers. Think I'll write to my mp about this. The OP must have difficulty getting down her drive with all these dead bats lying around.

Flashing lights, even slowly, are really anti social. They can trigger migraines and also seizures in people with epilepsy. I get migraines and they triggered them for my Mum but don’t cause them for me thankfully, they do make me feel nauseous in a sort of pre-migraine way though. Must be really horrible for your neighbour.
Lights in general are environmentally bad, and I know they look pretty over Christmas, but having them up from September isn’t great. Stick to ones that don’t flash, limit the numbers and keep them up for December maybe, that seems a reasonable compromise to me.

@AutumnLighting I hope now your other 4 neighbours all put lights up in solidarity, and your miserable racist neighbours will be the one house shrouded in darkness.

I really think you should complain first, as they could well make a complaint against you over the lights, though I'm sure it wouldn't be taken very seriously. Racial abuse on your doorstep, that you have recorded, should be taken seriously.
If they complain you'll have the evidence from your complaint already in place.

It's a normal level of lighting, not like you have some huge 20ft commercial inflatable flashing reindeer in your garden

Tbf we don't know the level of lighting, People have differing tolerance of lights.
Photophobia is a common complaint but some people don't have it so they think people are just moaning about nothing. It's nothing to you, but it could be affecting others. Going about your normal daily business you can quickly avoid uncomfortable situations but when it's right opposite your house it's a lot more difficult. Insisting on having your lights and claiming they can't be bothering anyone is ignorance.

That’s awful, I’m so sorry OP. They deserve flashy lights

Well firstly, if your lights are warm white and don’t flash then I can’t really see the issue and to me, they sound nice and cosy.
The racist batshitters though? Without a doubt I’d contact the police. Even if they just get a warning, it might be enough to shut the fuckers up. Mental.

And the racism and the complaining about the cat that doesn't exist?