AIBU to keep our lights up despite neighbour complaining?

[AutumnLighting]

We moved into our house just before Christmas last year. We are one of 6 houses on a lane in an u shape and our house is directly opposite one of the other houses. All of the houses are set back so we are not close to the houses opposite.

When we moved in last year, we put up lights on our house and in two of our trees at the front of our house as well as 2 nutcrackers and a Christmas wreath on the door. Nothing garish, just white lights. Every time we saw the neighbours opposite they would comment on the lights and decorations. They said things like that’s is a lot of lights, did you leave any in the shop for anyone else, we certainly can’t miss you etc. We took the lights down in January.

This is now our first autumn in the house and my husband has put up some lights along the front of the house, a garland around the front door and a wreath on the door. We went out for the evening and have come home to a note from the neighbour opposite which said she doesn’t like the lights, none of the past neighbours have ever put them up and that the lights will give her migraines like the ones we put up at Christmas did. She would like us to remove the lights.

How do we respond to this? My husband thinks we just ignore it but I said she will talk to us when we see her if we don’t go over and talk to her about it. He said he’ll tell her not to look at the lights. What would you say? We obviously plan to put the lights up for Christmas again this year so that isn’t going to go down well either.

We know she has moaned about other things to some of the other neighbours like their grandchildren playing outside on their bikes so she seems to be a moaner.

Edited by MNHQ to add a Cancel The Cheque Klaxon: this thread has moved on quite a lot so it's worth reading through all the OP's posts before replying

Ha, I think that ship has sailed (and it wasn’t the op who launched it…)

Apologies - I just have. TBH I didn't even notice it was pages long. It's a cardinal sin that I hate, so I do apologise.

I'd be tempted to put up so many lights they could be seen from space!

I really hope your husband takes the camera footage to the police.

Presumably you wouldn’t be at OPs door asking if her husband speaks English, calling him a racist slur and telling him to go home though.

Why try to defend it? I wonder.

Or they have read it but quite enjoying saying they agree with the neighbour and then pretending they hadn’t seen the update. They get to be racist and get away with it. Seen it before from usernames who are racist.

Oh dear. Consider me told.

At this stage OP, I’d build a lighthouse and also install the brightness rotating search lights on poles.
Your neighbours are awful, awful people.

I voted YABU as it‘s September!! Why do you need a „glow“?? You’re certainly adding the the ever increasing light pollution and I feel the misery of your neighbour. Can’t you just invest in a good door light that’s pretty and welcoming? Why do you need a whole festival environment to come home to.

Id absolutely hate to be your neighbour. You are being selfish and antisocial if you persist with this level of lighting.

Well hello @AutumnLighting's neighbour 😜

But they have presented the op with a laundry list of spurious complaints, so doesn’t that change your view of this one?
Her cat is going in their garden- she hasn’t got a cat.
Her late night visitors are disturbing them - she doesn’t have any.
If they’re crying wolf about everything else why would you carry on believing them about the migraines? I would say it rather affects their credibility.

Are these appalling neighbour’s elderly with nothing else to do but harass you? They must be disturbed, unhappy, and angry people to behave like that. So your best revenge against them is to be happy yourselves.
Personally I hate lights because they are ecologically awful, upsetting the lifelcycles of insects and wildlife and using resources unnecessarily m. But the lights aren’t the real issue here, the paranoia and racism is.

Given that these neighbours have racially abused the OP’s husband, your use of “those people” is pretty unpalatable. I suggest you read the OP’s posts before commenting on threads to avoid unwittingly looking like a racist in future.

Now until after Christmas is a bit much. If flashing it can be very annoying even with curtains drawn and she's the one seeing them not you from indoors. Static and turned off by 9 is reasonable

Next was that we need to not drive out of our driveway at night, but reverse due to the headlights.

They are nutters.

Did the previous owners tell you why they were moving?

@pusspuss9 I’m surprised that skin colour is even 1006 on your list. It shouldn’t be on it at all. Maybe you meant it jokingly, but it’s no joking matter for people on the receiving end of racist abuse.

Can you read op's updates before posting on a thread in future? Ta

Yes, very telling. Mumsnet has a lot of racist posters so no surprise.

Other people's lights are just awful, particularly if there isn't much in the way of street lighting. I don't understand this obsession with outdoor lights unless you are hosting a party outdoors.

You are presumably inside your house, you can't even see them so what are they for? Some sort of showing off statement? Dark is good, we need dark and wildlife needs, we don't get enough of it. Stop being anti social and put up the lights inside your house if you like them so much.

How is someone’s seasonal decor that presumably doesn’t disturb anyone but this deranged pair of racists tacky? And who is anyone really to deem what’s tacky or not for others?

I find beige/grey/greige decor beyond tacky but then… I just don’t have it in my own place. I’m not marching around telling others what to do.

They trigger my migraines and are so dangerous during Christmas when I’m driving around and keep seeing fluttering out the corner of my eyes

I was going to point this out. Ops husband suggested she just doesn't look at them. You can't not look at them. Your peripheral vision sees them and that can sometimes be worse.

You're not old fashioned, it's when it starts astronomically give a day or two. But the BBC/ITV etc etc etc started using meteorological seasons which start on the first of a month. DH's has a degree in astronomy, doing his PhD so I get all the moaning😂

I hope all the miserable bastards on this thread read this… what a pair of nasty twats and I am glad you will be ignoring every single ridiculous request of theirs. I would also be taking the footage to the police, fuck them and put up the biggest fucking inflatable light up Santa Claus you can bloody find.

Read.
The.
Damn.
Thread.

@mnhq can you add a note to the op saying to read all op's posts before posting?

I'm so sorry OP. Felt like it could have gone either way (in terms of their request about the lights being reasonable) until the post about the other neighbour going to work being an issue. They are controlling, racist arseholes. FWIW I hope you do report to the police and that there is some way of ensuring that they aren't allowed to contact you again. I would love you to be able to live your lives free of notes through the door and unwanted visitors making stupid demands. And I'd love them to know that the law is on your side and that their fucked up vision of how they can treat people isn't tolerated.

"If you don't leave me alone I will be asking the police to issue a restraining order on you".

Job done.