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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to keep our lights up despite neighbour complaining?

573 replies

AutumnLighting · Yesterday 22:51

We moved into our house just before Christmas last year. We are one of 6 houses on a lane in an u shape and our house is directly opposite one of the other houses. All of the houses are set back so we are not close to the houses opposite.

When we moved in last year, we put up lights on our house and in two of our trees at the front of our house as well as 2 nutcrackers and a Christmas wreath on the door. Nothing garish, just white lights. Every time we saw the neighbours opposite they would comment on the lights and decorations. They said things like that’s is a lot of lights, did you leave any in the shop for anyone else, we certainly can’t miss you etc. We took the lights down in January.

This is now our first autumn in the house and my husband has put up some lights along the front of the house, a garland around the front door and a wreath on the door. We went out for the evening and have come home to a note from the neighbour opposite which said she doesn’t like the lights, none of the past neighbours have ever put them up and that the lights will give her migraines like the ones we put up at Christmas did. She would like us to remove the lights.

How do we respond to this? My husband thinks we just ignore it but I said she will talk to us when we see her if we don’t go over and talk to her about it. He said he’ll tell her not to look at the lights. What would you say? We obviously plan to put the lights up for Christmas again this year so that isn’t going to go down well either.

We know she has moaned about other things to some of the other neighbours like their grandchildren playing outside on their bikes so she seems to be a moaner.

Edited by MNHQ to add a Cancel The Cheque Klaxon: this thread has moved on quite a lot so it's worth reading through all the OP's posts before replying

OP posts:
CatVDog · Today 10:54

EmailsaysOOO · Today 10:51

It's not a bolshy request. Probably depends how much you value the neighbourhood atmosphere. If you are happy to upset them, carry on
.

I’d say she’ll be very happy to piss them off now,

MassiveOvaryaction · Today 10:54

EmailsaysOOO · Today 10:51

It's not a bolshy request. Probably depends how much you value the neighbourhood atmosphere. If you are happy to upset them, carry on
.

I think giving op's updates her upsetting them is the least of the issue. Suggest having a read.

EmailsaysOOO · Today 10:55

CatVDog · Today 10:54

I’d say she’ll be very happy to piss them off now,

Oops yes, hadn't read the thread .if I could delete that I would. The neighbours sound like psychos. I'd be looking to move

SweetnsourNZ · Today 10:56

Seen your latest posts. Sounds like you have a double whammy with serial complainers and racists. It's unfortunate that they seem to be the same as a couple so one wont be pulling the other back.
At least your other neighbours seem reasonable. Hopefully you can all stand together and resist their meanness, then they will get bored and leave you alone. I wouldn't antagonist them as this could backfire on you.
Be vigilant though, especially against any negative behaviour to you children.

FoldItIn · Today 10:56

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Lifeomars · Today 10:58

It's the start of September! If you like lights so much why not have them inside your house where you can see them. I love fairy lights and have them on timers in my home for my enjoyment not all over the front of my home where I can't see them and they have the potential to annoy others. Personally I wouldn't complain as your neighbour has done but I would wonder why you want lights that you can't see on display for months on end

MassiveOvaryaction · Today 10:58

CloudyWithAChanceOfCustard · Today 10:54

Flashing lights are AWFUL at any time of year!! You are not the ones putting up with them are you…it’s everyone else! In fact, any lights at all outside your house are not for your benefit…you only see them when you drive or walk towards your house. It’s your poor neighbours who get the full ‘majesty’ of those lights, reflecting and/or flashing into their window!

Don’t be ‘this neighbour’…especially on the first of fucking September!! Who even does this?? Autumn?? It’s still 22 degrees outside ffs! 🤦‍♀️ I’m wearing shorts!

Why don't people read the op's updates as a minimum on a multi page thread FFS?!

ArabellaScott · Today 10:59

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Absolute nonsense. Away and stop trying to smear people.

MassiveOvaryaction · Today 11:00

Lifeomars · Today 10:58

It's the start of September! If you like lights so much why not have them inside your house where you can see them. I love fairy lights and have them on timers in my home for my enjoyment not all over the front of my home where I can't see them and they have the potential to annoy others. Personally I wouldn't complain as your neighbour has done but I would wonder why you want lights that you can't see on display for months on end

Read. The. Thread.

LilloLil · Today 11:01

EmailsaysOOO · Today 10:51

It's not a bolshy request. Probably depends how much you value the neighbourhood atmosphere. If you are happy to upset them, carry on
.

Yes, the atmosphere is delightful at the moment.

BitOutOfPractice · Today 11:01

viques · Yesterday 23:31

Poor neighbour is thinking, “Autumn, Halloween, Firework night, Christmas…..”

No wonder she has a headache.

As well as the migraines she's probably thinking you're one of those people who decorates for every season, and she probably thinks it's incredibly tacky and she's right

hamnish · Today 11:01

Wow. I’m #teamXmasLightsOnly but even I’d be ordering a whole set of Flags of The World lights now, set to flash 24/7.

(but it is true about wildlife getting stressed/confused by garden lights, btw, so maybe have a wee care for them too, if not the other neighbours).

CatVDog · Today 11:02

BitOutOfPractice · Today 11:01

As well as the migraines she's probably thinking you're one of those people who decorates for every season, and she probably thinks it's incredibly tacky and she's right

Better than being a racist nobhead.

FoldItIn · Today 11:02

ArabellaScott · Today 10:59

Absolute nonsense. Away and stop trying to smear people.

Absolutely not. Imagine reading the OP's posts and writing that? Exclamation marks and all.
It's awful behaviour.

godmum56 · Today 11:04

EmailsaysOOO · Today 10:51

It's not a bolshy request. Probably depends how much you value the neighbourhood atmosphere. If you are happy to upset them, carry on
.

RTFFT

MassiveOvaryaction · Today 11:04

BitOutOfPractice · Today 11:01

As well as the migraines she's probably thinking you're one of those people who decorates for every season, and she probably thinks it's incredibly tacky and she's right

I'd rather be tacky than racist.

pusspuss9 · Today 11:04

Gengha · Today 09:33

Well now we know the real reason. They’re a pair of racist bastards. Definitely don’t pander to them and consider calling the police.

Well now we know the real reason. They’re a pair of racist bastards.

would you consider their main complaint is that they have a neighbour of a different colour, or that they have valid problems with a bright light shining into their house for at least 4 months of the year?
personally the light issue for me would be a major irritant, the skin colour number 1006 on a listing of things that would upset me.

godmum56 · Today 11:04

BitOutOfPractice · Today 11:01

As well as the migraines she's probably thinking you're one of those people who decorates for every season, and she probably thinks it's incredibly tacky and she's right

RTFFT

MassiveOvaryaction · Today 11:05

godmum56 · Today 11:04

RTFFT

To her credit she did, and posted rescinding the earlier one.

godmum56 · Today 11:05

pusspuss9 · Today 11:04

Well now we know the real reason. They’re a pair of racist bastards.

would you consider their main complaint is that they have a neighbour of a different colour, or that they have valid problems with a bright light shining into their house for at least 4 months of the year?
personally the light issue for me would be a major irritant, the skin colour number 1006 on a listing of things that would upset me.

RTFFT

BitOutOfPractice · Today 11:05

BitOutOfPractice · Today 11:01

As well as the migraines she's probably thinking you're one of those people who decorates for every season, and she probably thinks it's incredibly tacky and she's right

Can I please just retract every word of this having just read your update! Put all the lights on. Flashing "FUCK YOU!" in morse code.

maudelovesharold · Today 11:05

FoldItIn · Today 11:02

Absolutely not. Imagine reading the OP's posts and writing that? Exclamation marks and all.
It's awful behaviour.

How on earth did you get any of that from the post? I’m glad your response has been deleted. I was going to report it myself.

Sartre · Today 11:05

What an awful update, definitely report to the police and because you have camera footage they can’t ignore it or dismiss you. So sorry you experienced such vitriol, they’re absolute pigs.

Goldengirl123 · Today 11:05

I would go straight out today and replace the lights with flashing ones and I would also show the police the footage

godmum56 · Today 11:06

I mean I always thought there were loads of people on here who don't RTFT or even all the OP's posts but bloody hell its endemic on this thread

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