AIBU to keep our lights up despite neighbour complaining?

[AutumnLighting]

We moved into our house just before Christmas last year. We are one of 6 houses on a lane in an u shape and our house is directly opposite one of the other houses. All of the houses are set back so we are not close to the houses opposite.

When we moved in last year, we put up lights on our house and in two of our trees at the front of our house as well as 2 nutcrackers and a Christmas wreath on the door. Nothing garish, just white lights. Every time we saw the neighbours opposite they would comment on the lights and decorations. They said things like that’s is a lot of lights, did you leave any in the shop for anyone else, we certainly can’t miss you etc. We took the lights down in January.

This is now our first autumn in the house and my husband has put up some lights along the front of the house, a garland around the front door and a wreath on the door. We went out for the evening and have come home to a note from the neighbour opposite which said she doesn’t like the lights, none of the past neighbours have ever put them up and that the lights will give her migraines like the ones we put up at Christmas did. She would like us to remove the lights.

How do we respond to this? My husband thinks we just ignore it but I said she will talk to us when we see her if we don’t go over and talk to her about it. He said he’ll tell her not to look at the lights. What would you say? We obviously plan to put the lights up for Christmas again this year so that isn’t going to go down well either.

We know she has moaned about other things to some of the other neighbours like their grandchildren playing outside on their bikes so she seems to be a moaner.

Cancel the fucking cheque people.

They did get a letter through the door. Then the neighbours who complained came round at 7am in the morning after and again at 9. After demanding other things, they launched into a racist tirade. The soft glow lights are in the porch and there's an autumn wreath.

Jeez, what an update! OP go to the police with the footage. And get the brightest flashing lights you can find!

They are obviously unhinged, and have empty lives which they fill with bile-fuelled complaints and vendettas. They’re the kind of people who might start filming you and your visitors’ comings and goings as ‘proof’. I would be prepared, and report this as at least a ‘heads up’ to the police, in case of future harassment. The man’s comments are not only vile, they are against the law - racially aggravated harassment - and he ought to be prosecuted.

That's really sad.

I love hearing the local owl (or owls) in the night.

Shittin heck OP 🫣😖💐

They're like the middle-class equivalent of a thug with a dangerous dog, except that THEY are the dangerous dogs!

I do think you should report them to the police, especially as you have footage of the abuse. This needs to be nipped in the bud early, and/or recorded now in case things escalate. I hope they don't.

Pleased to hear you have some support from sane neighbours.

In light of this, I think a 7” wicker man and a bonfire is necessary.

When they complain, tell them you’re just adhering to local customs.

In that case maybe she just regards lights as tacky and a bad look for the neighbourhood, if that is the case I suppose it is up to you. If she is a serial complaint maker it could be she is a very long time resident that just has a very proprietary mindset.

Erm, read my last post!!!

Read my latest post 😠😠

If that update is true then it is outrageous. I find it hard to believe that people are so blatantly racist these days to say such unacceptable things. If you have it on camera then do take it to the police

Did you read op's update?

I’m not a fan of flashing lights, but I think it’s a bit of a reach to suggest that they, much less static ones, are intrusive to neighbours

In the case of my opposite neighbour, who has bright xmas lights strung across his house and garden, occasionally flashing, my front door is glass and permeates the hallway and part of the other rooms if I don't close the room door.

The worst thing is that when it's dark, I go to reverse out of my drive and I can see nothing in my mirror but his lights until the angle of my car changes significantly. It's a genuine hazard for me. Like many people on here, he doesn't see how his lights are affecting anyone else - in their minds the lights are not that bad and they don't see why people can't just close their curtains.

In reality, they have no idea how their lights are affecting others because they are not those other people. There is no answer to it if people with lights just dismiss others as being 'whiners'. There will always be inconsiderate people about.

RTFFT

I hardly think house prices will drop because OP has some lights outside her home. Are you always this miserable and dramatic? I’d say that they are spoiling the neighbourhood by being racist twats but everyone has a different opinion I guess.

I don't see why people can't reverse into their drive and drive out.

Bloody hell.

Whether or not you decide to go to the police right now, please log everything. This thread is a good starting point. Take note of times, notes of what was said. Make sure you have the recordings somewhere safe/backed up.

I'm so sorry, OP, that's horrible to have experienced.

I'd rather a view lights than live anywhere near the vile, racist beliefs this couple attacked OP and her husband with. It is clearly not about the lights.......

I would recommend reading the update. Just because the OP is newer on the street, doesn't mean the behaviour there before they arrived was acceptable

I get migraines and never heard such rubbish.

Thankfully I don't get migraines, but I have heard of it. How about that?

It's not a bolshy request. Probably depends how much you value the neighbourhood atmosphere. If you are happy to upset them, carry on
.

Other neighbours have also had problems with these people which is helpful to know.

A lot of people these days have outside motion detector lights for health and safety reasons. They have ring doorbell cameras. The world has changed so much in the last twenty years.

What a pair of horrible racists they are. I hope the whole road calls them out for this and never talks to them again. They’ll be very lonely and they’ll deserve it. I hope her migraine is terrible today.

I really want you to get a cat now, just so it can do huge stinky turds in their garden whilst your lights are flashing. 🤣

I’m generally very anti bright light (because migraines) but I am confused as to why you don’t put a curtain across your glass front door.

I agree but it’s up to the homeowner what they do in their own home, and if I had such a racist bastard neighbour and I knew the lights wound him up I’d leave them on all year around!

Flashing lights are AWFUL at any time of year!! You are not the ones putting up with them are you…it’s everyone else! In fact, any lights at all outside your house are not for your benefit…you only see them when you drive or walk towards your house. It’s your poor neighbours who get the full ‘majesty’ of those lights, reflecting and/or flashing into their window!

Don’t be ‘this neighbour’…especially on the first of fucking September!! Who even does this?? Autumn?? It’s still 22 degrees outside ffs! 🤦‍♀️ I’m wearing shorts!