AIBU to keep our lights up despite neighbour complaining?

[AutumnLighting]

We moved into our house just before Christmas last year. We are one of 6 houses on a lane in an u shape and our house is directly opposite one of the other houses. All of the houses are set back so we are not close to the houses opposite.

When we moved in last year, we put up lights on our house and in two of our trees at the front of our house as well as 2 nutcrackers and a Christmas wreath on the door. Nothing garish, just white lights. Every time we saw the neighbours opposite they would comment on the lights and decorations. They said things like that’s is a lot of lights, did you leave any in the shop for anyone else, we certainly can’t miss you etc. We took the lights down in January.

This is now our first autumn in the house and my husband has put up some lights along the front of the house, a garland around the front door and a wreath on the door. We went out for the evening and have come home to a note from the neighbour opposite which said she doesn’t like the lights, none of the past neighbours have ever put them up and that the lights will give her migraines like the ones we put up at Christmas did. She would like us to remove the lights.

How do we respond to this? My husband thinks we just ignore it but I said she will talk to us when we see her if we don’t go over and talk to her about it. He said he’ll tell her not to look at the lights. What would you say? We obviously plan to put the lights up for Christmas again this year so that isn’t going to go down well either.

We know she has moaned about other things to some of the other neighbours like their grandchildren playing outside on their bikes so she seems to be a moaner.

You’re so selfish

I thought you were just putting them up in READINESS for Christmas and getting the job done before the weather gets too unpredictable @AutumnLighting

you are putting up lights ”For Autumn”?

this isn’t a ‘thing’ love. It seriously isn’t and actually shouldn’t ever be a thing

wreath? If you must, indoor decorations and stuff, by all means, but switching on lights in September etc is too much

by all means have the lights on in the back garden, even though it’s bad for nocturnal creatures, but leave the front ones until at least Advent time.

I am with the neighbour. Put them in your back garden if you want pretty lights to look at. Light pollution has gone too far these days. If you have ever been out in the wild on a clear night away from all the light pollution of the cities it is stunning to see the sky at its best.

They’ve been back and it went worse than expected. Some people really are nasty fucks.

They said before they talk about the lights, we need to start keeping our cat inside because it’s using their garden as a toilet. We don’t have a cat and told them that. We have never had a cat.

Next was that we need to not drive out of our driveway at night, but reverse due to the headlights. We are allowed to drive out in daytime. Obviously I said no and that they can’t control what we do.

Next it was unknown cars coming to our house when it’s dark. It needs to stop because they’re unable to sleep. The only ‘unknown’ cars that come here are our friends and family, mostly in the daytime. Obviously I said we can have who we like at our house at any time, day or night. We very rarely have any visitors coming and going late at night.

My husband joined us at this point. They have spoken to him before, in English. They heard him ask me if I was ok, in English, when he joined us. My husband is British, born here, but he isn’t white. They asked him if he spoke English. 🤔 He stayed polite and told them that his English was as good as theirs being as he had lived here his whole life.

They said the current lights need to be removed and we can’t have lights at Xmas. My husband asked what the issue was and they said the flashing. My husband said the current lights that are up do not flash and there is no flash option. The called him a liar. He invited them to come and look at them in the garage to prove it to them but they refused. My husband said that we will make sure the lights at Xmas (which are warm white for those asking) will be on the static setting. They said no, we need to not have them at all. My husband said we will have the lights on our house because it is our house. The man then called my husband a fucking <racial slur> and told him to ‘go home’. My husband said would you like the opportunity to apologise for your racist comments and they said no and walked off. This is all captured on camera.

Our son thinks we should go to the police but my husband said just leave it and unfortunately he has dealt with worse racism, which I know he has as I’ve been with him when he has received it. I’m really fucking angry. He’s quiet.

We have spoken to the couple next door as they text when they heard the neighbours shouting at us, to ask if we were ok. I’ve explained what has happened which was awkward as they are both British but from the same heritage as my husband. This couple have actually done a few jobs to help the racist couple out but said they won’t be doing that again. They are also going to tell the couple next to them about the racism as they are also non white although different heritage.

They are racist bastards and we won’t be talking to them again. So that’s us and at least 2, possibly 3 sets of neighbours who don’t like them because of their moaning and now racist comments.

I’ve asked my husband to please consider reporting this with the footage we have. Our children are also not white and I feel it’s important to show them that we will not accept this for them even if my husband can brush it aside.

We have joked that we’ll be having our lights on the fastest flashing setting we can find this Christmas. Our next door neighbours have said they’ll put lights up from now on. I don’t know if they will but it was nice of them to show their support.

Why antagonise your neighbours over something you dont even see? If you want lights when you come home get some stake lights around your drive.

me too. plus a 20' cock and balls phoenix nights styleeeee

oooh, you're so cool aren't you!!

I doubt they give her a migraine, she probably just thinks they are tacky as hell but couldn’t find a nice way to say it. No doubt all your other neighbours are quietly thinking the same.

Im thinking of lining my garden path with these, much like those little reindeer people put out. Maybe some fake snow on top for added effect

Your Christmas lights which get brighter and flash sound dreadful. Everyone on the outside of your property has to deal with them - probably ok as a drive by but not if the light's filtering into their property.

Lights in September? Definitely not adding to the tone of the neighborhood lol

Good grief this escalated from not liking the lights. Straight to the police. It sounds like the lights are just an excuse to be nasty to you and your husband. You need to show you will not be bullied and will report anything like racism straight away.

Well there you go for all the pearl clutchers on the thread. You're supporting racist, controlling lunatics. Knew it wouldn't just be about the lights and they clearly have a problem with you due to your DHs ethnicity. How vile, yet predictable.

Enjoy your full Christmas lights display, hope you really go all out this year. I'd be getting a deck the halls-style projector.

I’m so sorry. 💐 You are right to report this. They are nasty bastards. I hope the whole road turns on them for this.

Get your flashing lights up for tonight and turn onto rave mode!

Tell her if she gets migraines from lights she needs to have blackout curtains up.

From your 1st post I thought your lights sounded quiet sweet/ cute/ warm for coming home to as the evenings get shorter. And from the description I couldn't see how they would bother the neighbours

After your update. They are absolute and utter horrible people.

Why do you think the bat's perspective isn't sensible?

That attitude is what got us where we are, with the environmental destruction we're seeing the results of now.

There are some utterly unhinged responses on this thread. If Christmas/Autumn lights were the most challenging thing in my life, I’d consider myself lucky & get on with living my (frankly, privileged) life. Enjoy your Christmas/Autumn lights OP & leave your neighbours to drown in their own misery.

Well now we know the real reason. They’re a pair of racist bastards. Definitely don’t pander to them and consider calling the police.

What's with all the light hate? I had outside lighting in the garden all year round, including fairy lights on the trees. Not flashing, of course.

I think you can put up what ever lights you like within reason. Yes it would be shitty to put up blue flashing rave lights right next to your terraced neighbours bedroom window.

But on your DRIVE where the neighbours have to peer to see? Fuck off with that shit.

I think I’m siding with your neighbour here. Lights during the autumn seem quite unnecessary. 2-3 weeks over Christmas seems reasonable, flashing or whatever! But it seems you’re causing light pollution on your small road which is disturbing your neighbours. Why won’t you be a supportive and cooperative neighbour? It seems you’re purposely trying to piss them off.

Gosh what an update. They sound awful. Hopefully you can arrange your lights into the shape of a middle finger.

Oh OP, I feel so sorry for your husband, and all of you. That’s awful. 💐

I hope that cunt really does get migraines. Get your flashing lights on every night.

Ah OP, I'm so sorry. Please report to them to police for the racism. Please.

They deserve to understand that is not fucking acceptable.

You side with the racist cunty neighbours then. 🙄

They sound horrible op.
I hope you go to the police.
Based on that I agree the migraines are probably as imaginary as the cat.

Could sense from the start it wasn’t about the lights it was always about control, the driving/reversing onto the driveway thing is a perfect example of their pettiness.

I’m glad you’ve warned the neighbours that they’re hideous racists. Shame on them.