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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to keep our lights up despite neighbour complaining?

476 replies

AutumnLighting · Yesterday 22:51

We moved into our house just before Christmas last year. We are one of 6 houses on a lane in an u shape and our house is directly opposite one of the other houses. All of the houses are set back so we are not close to the houses opposite.

When we moved in last year, we put up lights on our house and in two of our trees at the front of our house as well as 2 nutcrackers and a Christmas wreath on the door. Nothing garish, just white lights. Every time we saw the neighbours opposite they would comment on the lights and decorations. They said things like that’s is a lot of lights, did you leave any in the shop for anyone else, we certainly can’t miss you etc. We took the lights down in January.

This is now our first autumn in the house and my husband has put up some lights along the front of the house, a garland around the front door and a wreath on the door. We went out for the evening and have come home to a note from the neighbour opposite which said she doesn’t like the lights, none of the past neighbours have ever put them up and that the lights will give her migraines like the ones we put up at Christmas did. She would like us to remove the lights.

How do we respond to this? My husband thinks we just ignore it but I said she will talk to us when we see her if we don’t go over and talk to her about it. He said he’ll tell her not to look at the lights. What would you say? We obviously plan to put the lights up for Christmas again this year so that isn’t going to go down well either.

We know she has moaned about other things to some of the other neighbours like their grandchildren playing outside on their bikes so she seems to be a moaner.

OP posts:
Banoffeepie29 · Today 09:40

RowsOfFlowers · Today 09:36

I think I’m siding with your neighbour here. Lights during the autumn seem quite unnecessary. 2-3 weeks over Christmas seems reasonable, flashing or whatever! But it seems you’re causing light pollution on your small road which is disturbing your neighbours. Why won’t you be a supportive and cooperative neighbour? It seems you’re purposely trying to piss them off.

Read the update.

ForEdgyHare · Today 09:40

Please do report this to the police. People should not be racially abused especially in their own home. Im sorry this happened. Buy the brightest, flashying lights you can find now 🙈

Chiefunderling · Today 09:40

Just read your update OP. Vile racist cretins. Again, please enjoy your lights.

rosierosierosie · Today 09:41

It’s not worth falling out with a neighbour over. As a neighbourly gesture of goodwill, just take them down, and don’t put the Christmas ones up. However, if it emboldens her and she’s a pain about anything else in future, back up they go x 1000 ;)

RowsOfFlowers · Today 09:42

Banoffeepie29 · Today 09:40

Read the update.

Ooops sorry missed that!!!

Mumtobabyhavoc · Today 09:42

Provide all details as you have here and file a police report. Insist on a no contact order. Ensure you have good security cameras.

SometimesMaybeNot · Today 09:42

rosierosierosie · Today 09:41

It’s not worth falling out with a neighbour over. As a neighbourly gesture of goodwill, just take them down, and don’t put the Christmas ones up. However, if it emboldens her and she’s a pain about anything else in future, back up they go x 1000 ;)

Read OPs update. There will be no neighbourly gesture of goodwill to racist bastards.

CruelsummerTS · Today 09:42

rosierosierosie · Today 09:41

It’s not worth falling out with a neighbour over. As a neighbourly gesture of goodwill, just take them down, and don’t put the Christmas ones up. However, if it emboldens her and she’s a pain about anything else in future, back up they go x 1000 ;)

It’s worth reading all the OP’s updates ..

MassiveOvaryaction · Today 09:43

This reply has been deleted

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thefirstmrsrochester · Today 09:44

If your neighbours are prepared to complain about another neighbour getting up for shift work there are no ends to how far they will go to stop anything which they happen to get piqued about.

I would keep the lights and turn them off later in the evening.

Unless you are breaking the law they cannot tell you how to live.

edited - what horrible racists you have as neighbours op

godmum56 · Today 09:45

I like lights and put them up when I feel like it but only steady, never flashing or changing in any way because I am aware that they can cause problems. I'd say crack on. Personally I loathe the blue ones but that's just me.

MassiveOvaryaction · Today 09:45

@AutumnLighting I'm really sorry you had to go through that. It was never about the lights. I hope you do report it.
Mind you, now they've got at least 3 sets of non-white immediate neighbours maybe they'll consider moving? 🤞

RowsOfFlowers · Today 09:45

Ok yeah I take back my previous comment. Racism is totally unacceptable and it needs reporting to the police immediately! It’s not ok and a message needs to be sent to them that they are way out of line.as for all their demands…. wtf…..

rosierosierosie · Today 09:45

Omg yes I hadn’t read the updates - what awful arseholes, so sorry OP, they deserve Blackpool illuminations

HotGrapefruit · Today 09:46

Flashing or 'cool white' lights give me migraines - I just have to look at them quite briefly. They are very antisocial! If they are warm white and not flashing, that's not so awful, but I'd probably keep it until Christmas!

Lotusina · Today 09:47

I would hate flashing lights myself and you’ve explained they won’t flash this year anyway. But no way should you let them racially abuse your family. They need a reminder of what’s legally right and wrong. I would strongly consider reporting them.

godmum56 · Today 09:48

just read the update so sorry that you have shit neighbours but nice that the others seem to be on your side.

SometimesMaybeNot · Today 09:48

Lotusina · Today 09:47

I would hate flashing lights myself and you’ve explained they won’t flash this year anyway. But no way should you let them racially abuse your family. They need a reminder of what’s legally right and wrong. I would strongly consider reporting them.

I really really hope they’ll be flashing this year.

paomara · Today 09:49

Neighbour wars!

Send them an estate agent link to isolated homes in the middle of nowhere.

No point getting annoyed or upset with them. Their sort have hides like a rhino. Ignore and put your lights up, but as you indicated, on static setting and low glow.

venus7 · Today 09:49

AutumnLighting · Yesterday 23:21

We can see them from inside as our house is an L shape. We also see them when we come home which is nice.

When you come home? So you're not even there to 'enjoy' them much of the time.
So inconsiderate, not to mention environmentally damaging, and naff.

Tessasanderson · Today 09:50

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Ive reported you. No need for this as its clear people havent read OP's latest update. Vile responses like this do not help anything.

hididdlyho · Today 09:51

I wonder if she writes to the council to complain about the street lights? I doubt your fairy lights are brighter than those. Personally I'd ignore and do what you like with your house. She sounds like the controlling sort who doesn't like anyone doing anything differently to how she would. Maybe offer to buy her some net curtains.

pusspuss9 · Today 09:51

They’re a pair of racist bastards.

I'm lost here. What's this got to do with racism?? Is having a light racist?

CreativeGreen · Today 09:51

Your neighbours are appalling and I hope you're ok. Still think festooning lights all over your house in September is weird and wasteful, and if your neighbours were decent people I'd be on their side on this issue - like does the summer we've just had not give you pause at all?

SometimesMaybeNot · Today 09:52

Tessasanderson · Today 09:50

Ive reported you. No need for this as its clear people havent read OP's latest update. Vile responses like this do not help anything.

I hope you also reported the people that called OP names earlier in the thread as well as the one that used the word retarded.

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