AIBU to keep our lights up despite neighbour complaining?

[AutumnLighting]

We moved into our house just before Christmas last year. We are one of 6 houses on a lane in an u shape and our house is directly opposite one of the other houses. All of the houses are set back so we are not close to the houses opposite.

When we moved in last year, we put up lights on our house and in two of our trees at the front of our house as well as 2 nutcrackers and a Christmas wreath on the door. Nothing garish, just white lights. Every time we saw the neighbours opposite they would comment on the lights and decorations. They said things like that’s is a lot of lights, did you leave any in the shop for anyone else, we certainly can’t miss you etc. We took the lights down in January.

This is now our first autumn in the house and my husband has put up some lights along the front of the house, a garland around the front door and a wreath on the door. We went out for the evening and have come home to a note from the neighbour opposite which said she doesn’t like the lights, none of the past neighbours have ever put them up and that the lights will give her migraines like the ones we put up at Christmas did. She would like us to remove the lights.

How do we respond to this? My husband thinks we just ignore it but I said she will talk to us when we see her if we don’t go over and talk to her about it. He said he’ll tell her not to look at the lights. What would you say? We obviously plan to put the lights up for Christmas again this year so that isn’t going to go down well either.

We know she has moaned about other things to some of the other neighbours like their grandchildren playing outside on their bikes so she seems to be a moaner.

BOTH my opposite neighbours (we live on a courtyard and they're on the other side, but not on the actual courtyard themselves) have garden floodlights! They are incredibly bright - blinding, even. All summer it's been blissful with them being off. They both came back on yesterday, and that will be it now until April.

As we have this private courtyard (with 2 other houses) we could enjoy having our blinds open in the living room, and no one will pass by, but we can't because of those 2 families.

We've spoken to them and no luck.

Don't underestimate how jarring it is to have bright lights shining into your home for hours every evening.

Bats are blind 😂

You should be ashamed of yourself pointing out that everything will be fine 😂stop being all sensible when theres someone upthread writing from the perspective of a bat.

Naff.

All species of bats have eyes and can see.

Naff.

No they're not.

Artificial light at night disrupts bat behavior, navigation, and survival.

On the small off chance that you're interested - some of the ways light pollution affects bats;

https://www.bats.org.uk/about-bats/threats-to-bats/lighting

I'm going to put up some flashing Christmas lights on the front of my house this afternoon, in honor of this thread

It is September. Why for God's sake are you putting up Christmas lights now? It is ridiculous and tacky to have lights up for at least four months. No wonder your neighbours are complaining.

At Christmas lots of houses on our road put lights up. One house has a full on curtain of lights that change colour and flash and its constant😂😂😂 I never really thought about it as I can’t see them from inside my house.
We have one light on our garage door and a few stick lights that line our drive. But as I said lots of our road do christmas lights so its not extreme and we don’t have houses that face us. This has given me food for thought though. Especially about the wildlife needing the darkness. OP I would talk to your neighbour and try and tone it down. Migraines are so debilitating 😩

What an awful person you are. Don't you know LED lights are the cause of all the worlds problems??? I'm getting a cluster migraine right now just thinking about it. Take them down. I'm offended just imagining it. Not to mention that LED lights kill any wildlife that go within a 5 mile radius of them. Selfish and disgraceful. I've ran out of pearls to clutch.

I would suggest to them that they need to move as they seem to have something to complain about for every neighbour so perhaps this isn’t the street for them.

White lights are often much more blue/bright to look at. How about installing soft yellow lights that do not flash and only for the month of December? Door garlands can be made from plants and dried flowers.

Animals, native insects, birds etc as well as humans are adversely affected by white light and bright lit up nights. People do get migraines from white florescent light and people suffering Epilepsy do not like flashing light.
Believe that your neighbours are telling the truth. They want to sleep well.

Your neighbour is massively overstepping. What you choose to put on your own house is not her business, and seasonal lights are completely normal. She doesn’t get to decide what the rules are just because she personally dislikes something.

There are plenty of things I don’t like, but I don’t march over to someone’s door at 7am demanding they change their home to suit me. Her preferences aren’t your obligations.

If lights genuinely bother her, she can close her blinds or adjust her own environment instead of trying to control yours.
And honestly, does she walk into other neighbours’ homes, shops, restaurants, or social events that have lighting and demand they cater to her dislikes too? It’s unreasonable, and she’s behaving as though everyone else must rearrange their lives around her sensitivities.

You don’t need to engage, justify, or negotiate. Ignore the note, put up your Christmas lights as planned, and stop giving her the power she clearly thinks she has.

It sounds like they complain about everything. I'd definitely have them on static, alternatively as a compromise you could have them on from dusk until 10pm.

Why don’t you answer any of the million posts about how damaging this is to wildlife?

or do you just give no fucks?

It's September, I'm so confused about why lights and a wreath would go up now? Or are you just getting them ready? I'm lost!

Flashing lights are no no. I can see why that would maybe be an issue for neighbours. I don't know why some of those mad flashing settings even exist on our indoor lights.

Warm white or white lights in trees all year round can be really pretty.

It's your home. Your neighbours can just draw their curtains closed surely?!

Your neighbours sound weird and grumpy but I’m glad I don’t live near you.

Flashing lights are awful but I see you say you’ll stop doing that. Even non-flashing lights, other than at Christmas, are intrusive, selfish and unnecessary. As everyone else has said, your neighbours will see them far more than you will and they are damaging to wildlife. They affect everyone living nearby and the whole look of the area. I understand leaving a porch light on if you go out so it's "welcoming" when you come home, but apart from that - just no. Do your seasonal decorations, apart from a wreath, indoors. I appreciate that it’s a matter of taste and maybe I’m being snobbish but imo they’re naff.

me too. plus a 20' cock and balls phoenix nights styleeeee

Why didn't I think of that! Checking amazon right now

Seasonal lights are completely normal

No they aren’t, apart from at Christmas. Not anywhere I’ve ever lived, anyway (several different areas of England).

Can you put the lights in your back garden so you can enjoy them without bothering your neighbour?

That way you get to enjoy them without making other people put up with them.

It reminds me of my work when some people want xmas music on all day and others think it's torture. The former are called selfish and the latter grinches!

Sold out🥲🥲

This.

Your neighbour has the right to be annoyed but you are not doing anything illegal.

I would suggest in the spirit of compromise, keeping the autumn decor but no lights until hallowe'en. I would be mindful of Christmas lights, perhaps static not flashing from the first weekend Dec and take down on New Year.

That's hardly unreasonable.