AIBU to keep our lights up despite neighbour complaining?

[AutumnLighting]

We moved into our house just before Christmas last year. We are one of 6 houses on a lane in an u shape and our house is directly opposite one of the other houses. All of the houses are set back so we are not close to the houses opposite.

When we moved in last year, we put up lights on our house and in two of our trees at the front of our house as well as 2 nutcrackers and a Christmas wreath on the door. Nothing garish, just white lights. Every time we saw the neighbours opposite they would comment on the lights and decorations. They said things like that’s is a lot of lights, did you leave any in the shop for anyone else, we certainly can’t miss you etc. We took the lights down in January.

This is now our first autumn in the house and my husband has put up some lights along the front of the house, a garland around the front door and a wreath on the door. We went out for the evening and have come home to a note from the neighbour opposite which said she doesn’t like the lights, none of the past neighbours have ever put them up and that the lights will give her migraines like the ones we put up at Christmas did. She would like us to remove the lights.

How do we respond to this? My husband thinks we just ignore it but I said she will talk to us when we see her if we don’t go over and talk to her about it. He said he’ll tell her not to look at the lights. What would you say? We obviously plan to put the lights up for Christmas again this year so that isn’t going to go down well either.

We know she has moaned about other things to some of the other neighbours like their grandchildren playing outside on their bikes so she seems to be a moaner.

I would hate it if i was your neighbour, especially in a dark, quiet lane.
I would stick with your christmas lights but not light your house for autumn.

Hello I am a bat and I think your lights should fuck off

Wow, do the Pearl clutches even bother to read the whole thread?

OP has a few lights up at the front of the house, that DO NOT flash and are turned OFF over night, that her neighbours can hardly see through the hedges and the driveway.

They sound like the type of neighbours who won’t just stop at bullying you over the lights. The Queen Bee’s will be telling you what to plant in your garden, how to park your car, how to shut your front door (without slamming it and giving them a migraine). I’ll bet they are the type of neighbours who moan about kids playing out and leaving a bike or ball on the street.

I had one of these. All the neighbours were sick of her - it was constant. We tried to reason with her, started out polite, we ignored her and she still found things to complain about. In the end, after yet another visit to mine and my neighbours (this time for leaving a childs pram at the bottom of our drive) I just resorted to telling her to piss of home and not to come to my house again. I slammed the door in her face.

OP if you give in on some harmless lights, that don’t flash and she can hardly see, unless she is standing at the end of her drive, you will have years of these deranged bullies telling you how to live you life.

Why is it so important to you to have lights up? Why do you want to deliberately do something that upsets your neighbour? You sound like a nightmare. Just be a considerate neighbour and take them down.

This is greige behaviour
If she's said something, it's affecting her.
Don't be THAT neighbour.

There's one a little further up from my post that simpy says, in response to someone being all normal... Arrogant, Selfish and ignorant.

Simple yet with a dramatic flair. Fabulous.

Is this something like the attached, OP?

If so, she has reason to complain and is just CF. They are less bright than car lights and the sun so, unless she never leaves the house for fear of a migraine, she is BU.

Even then, it’s her problem and not yours.

And, 7am is borderline harassment, especially given the lights are off during the night!

So if the neighbours had never complained about anything and weren't considered 'moaners' how would you respond?

Because whether you are being unreasonable with your lights, or your neighbours being unreasonable in their request, should have nothing to do with Joe Blow at the pub saying they have issues with them too..

PS
I love seeing houses that have trimmed up for Christmas, Halloween etc.

For every neighbour who is offended, there will be neighbours for whom it raises a little cheer.

Or you could throw darts at them!

I think it's far too early for any of this shite, and most of it just looks tacky anyway.

I love any lights generally, it makes things cosier, however it would depends if the lights flash or not and how fast paced as well as colour

a few years ago, the people over the road put some insanely fast paced flashing lights up, it flared right in to our front door, into living room and top front window (daughters room)! It was headache inducing.

for me flashing is okay if they aren’t too bright to too fast paced but otherwise generally stick to one solid setting.

Exactly, from the description by OP they sound just like 'lights' to me, nothing autumn about them.
Autumn lights would surely be leaf shaped or something, which I have never heard of as a concept as in 'must put my autumn lights up' sounds like a made up thing, not an actual thing .

Well she can’t make you do anything but I go think it’s a bit weird to be putting up lights on your house on 1 September. Neighbour needs to learn that she can’t control what other people do, and that other people won’t give a fuck about her alleged migraines, if that’s even true. Some people just don’t like change and you’re maybe very different from the old neighbour.

Insane behaviour.
As long as lights are static and off overnight then you're fine.
A security light disrupting her sleep would be another matter.

Do NOT start pandering to them.

When they tell you what to do, say "no thank you".

I know this type and I assure you that nothing will ever be enough for them and the first time you give way to them will tell them they can control you and will get more and more demanding.

There are lots of reasons to not want houses lit up all year round. I'm not sure migraine is one of them if they are genuinely as soft and distant as OP claims, but why would you move rurally and then show no respect for the culture of the place or the environment and wildlife? Maybe read up on the effect of light pollution on human health, wildlife and ecosystems.

That was aimed at me. And now I feel sad...😥

All of this.

If they are those insanely bright lights they probably do disturb your neighbours. Our opposite neighbours have ground lights at the front of their very big front garden. When I'm in bed they shine straight in my eyes. Fortunately the neighbours turn them off late evening because they're not complete arseholes.

And lights at night definitely disturb nature, many animals/insects aren't meant to live in 24 hour daylight. It's not as if you can see your lights from indoors so pretty selfish of you really.

Put them in back garden if you absolutely must have them.

The Christmas ones will have been particularly annoying. I feel sorry for your neighbours.

Wow, do the Pearl clutches even bother to read the whole thread?

Nah, they go straight in with the name calling...

They need to get a life. 7am this morning and stood there for 15 minutes?! The flashing thing would annoy me but the rest of it l struggle to get worked up about. Especially if they are turned off over night. With people like this then there is always something, best to not feed into it

From the POV of someone who has no objection to tacky but does indeed get migraines from bright LEDs, the big inflatables are great.
The light is diffused by the inflatable so it doesn’t hit your eyes as harshly, and they make their impact by being massive rather than needing to be brighter than everyone else’s.
If anyone wants some jolly, cheery Christmas decs but doesn’t want to be a dick, may I recommend a giant inflatable Santa as tall as your house and his best friend, a giant inflatable snowman?

Just seen the update from the husband. They are barking mad. Tell them to piss off and if they come round again you’ll call the police as they are harassing you.

I started reading this thread as we have neighbours inflicting their light pollution on us. We don't mind them as neighbours but bloody hell I wish they'd tone it down and show some consideration for other people and wildlife. We live in the countryside so it just jars.
The fact that your neighbours are serial complainers doesn't mean they don't have a point about the lights but no, they shouldn't turn up at your door at 7am! I'm not sure how much the lights are for you or how much it's a display for the neighbourhood.

Oh that’s the worst setting, honestly I’m not miserable about lights as long as they’re not excessive but please put them on static and turn them off at 9pm!

Also one wreath is enough in September surely? Maybe a few more lights for Halloween then a break until Christmas