AIBU to keep our lights up despite neighbour complaining?

[AutumnLighting]

We moved into our house just before Christmas last year. We are one of 6 houses on a lane in an u shape and our house is directly opposite one of the other houses. All of the houses are set back so we are not close to the houses opposite.

When we moved in last year, we put up lights on our house and in two of our trees at the front of our house as well as 2 nutcrackers and a Christmas wreath on the door. Nothing garish, just white lights. Every time we saw the neighbours opposite they would comment on the lights and decorations. They said things like that’s is a lot of lights, did you leave any in the shop for anyone else, we certainly can’t miss you etc. We took the lights down in January.

This is now our first autumn in the house and my husband has put up some lights along the front of the house, a garland around the front door and a wreath on the door. We went out for the evening and have come home to a note from the neighbour opposite which said she doesn’t like the lights, none of the past neighbours have ever put them up and that the lights will give her migraines like the ones we put up at Christmas did. She would like us to remove the lights.

How do we respond to this? My husband thinks we just ignore it but I said she will talk to us when we see her if we don’t go over and talk to her about it. He said he’ll tell her not to look at the lights. What would you say? We obviously plan to put the lights up for Christmas again this year so that isn’t going to go down well either.

We know she has moaned about other things to some of the other neighbours like their grandchildren playing outside on their bikes so she seems to be a moaner.

Do carry on making sweeping statements about something you clearly know nothing about.

Does anyone sit there inside their own house staring at their own outside lights? No? Then switch them off! Waste of resources, bad for wildlife and irritating light pollution.

If you've left them on all night, I'd be round first thing to ask what the hell you're playing at. They're not mad. You are just so selfish. Also, why leave them on all night? Makes no sense.

The lights were OFF overnight.

Autumn decorations and lights are another commercial fad. Why mess up the environment and local animal life, and cause harm to your neighbours? If you must celebrate autumn, stick to an unlit wreath on the door.

They sound unhinged. Imagine not leaving for 15 minutes! They definitely sound entitled, I would just ignore them. You don't need to talk to them about anything, it's your property and your not breaking any laws.

I am aghast at how insensitive you are being. You are causing distress to another human being, willingly, and now laughing at their distress… all for what?!

lights outside your house?! Astonishingly self indulgent. Horrible behaviour.

Ignore them. If they come back tell them to stop harassing you over how you decorate your own house. I'm not interested in your opinion of my decorations. It's a normal level of lighting, not like you have some huge 20ft commercial inflatable flashing reindeer in your garden.

If you humour them or give in to them over this then you'll just get a constant stream of dictating over your home.

The problem with putting on outside lights for extended periods is that you are imposing your taste on everyone around you in a way that they have no method of escaping. It’s like standing in the middle of a crowded train carriage and singing Nessun Dorma for the entire journey because it’s YOUR favourite song, It’s just very intrusive (and therefore rude).

My neighbour opposite has a quite annoying, very bright security light that comes on with movement. My solution is that I don’t look at it because I don’t like it.

Please don’t let these bossy twats tell you what to do! Enjoy your lovely glowy autumn lights. I would have some too if my husband would agree to it lol.

We're talking about a few garden lights? Get a grip!

I agree with this. So long as you’re not breaking any laws or housing rules then I’d ignore them. Obv don’t go mad and have flashing or blue colour lights on until the early hours but a few hours of twinkly lights in the evening as the cold dark nights draw in sounds nice.
If you let them dictate this they’ll expect to have their opinion listened to on your windows, curtains, driveway, fence, bins, plants etc. next! They sound like entitled moaners.

She’s probably worried that they will flash as your Christmas ones did. And that you are lowering the tone of the street.

Can you add a timer so they are only on when you are due to come home, as you don’t see them once you are in?

I wouldn't be brave enough to tell you but I would actually hate you for this.

I guess it all comes down to whether you want to be a decent neighbour. You're perfectly entitled keep your lights if that's what you want.

Whatever the rights and wrongs, your lights are clearly upsetting your neighbours. Is it really worth it?

Why on earth would you put up Christmas lights and decoration in early September?

Just tacky and thoughtless. Flashing lights are really disruptive.

Keep you lights only just for a couple of weeks before Christmas and don't have them flash.

Decorate the inside of your home as you wish but when decorating the outside of your house you need to consider other people.

Your lights sound pretty unobtrusive. If they go off overnight I'd change nothing. Maybe fight fire with fire and tell them they need to get rid of all their plants? "I'm worried the smell of lavender will make me sneeze". "Your hedges might harbour wasps" etc.

They're causing distress to themselves by thinking they have a right to tell OP what they can do with their own house.

People are Allowed to annoy you. It's a really important thing people need to get to grips with. The people around you are allowed to be annoying and that's just a part of living in society. And also realising you're probably annoying other people too. And have a bit of humility.

People can smoke, play music, talk loudly, have lights on, drive their cars, ride their bikes, buy trampolines for their kids even break rules like use their hosepipe or have friends over during COVID and it's not up to you to control them.

You say you live on a lane, so presumably rural? If so, I don't think autumn lights are very considerate. Think of the wildlife and try and appreciate where you are rather than work against it.

Thought this comment was a joke at first but jfc

Certain types of lights, particularly the LED ones make me feel nauseous so if she does get migraines from it I can understand that. The soft glowing ones don’t bother me the same way. It’s a little early in the year for lights to be honest

If they aren't on in late evening and into the nigh tand if they dont flash, then its not a problem. White lights are bright compared to warm yellow, bit like how car headlights are crazy bright these days so it's might be they can see them from inside alot through blinds etc.

If they flash AND are bright then that is annoying.

I think it's anti social and far far too early.

It's your house, if you want a few lights up then put up a few lights. If you get into the habit of letting your neighbours dictate what you can and can't do, then they won't stop here.

Can't believe everyone on this thread crying about a few lights. Fucking hell